[3rdtimesthecharm]

Originally Posted by ArmyWifeStrong

Hello -

My husband had a vasetomy reversal that didn't work, no blockage...but no sperm there. The vasectomy was 10 years prior to reversal.

So...now we are using donor sperm...

I would like to know if any of you have had experience with a male getting (sperm aspiration?) a biopsy of his testicles to obtain sprem that way. has anyone had experience, luck...with this??

Was it painful? What was it like? How invasive is it? He would rather have me use donor sperm that do anymore procedures...he says the vasetomy & the reversal were enough...

Thanks!

! Eight years ago, my DH had his biopsy done through WRAMC (micro surgery at Ft. Meade) and we had zero sperm found. At the time, we were told DS was our only option. About six months ago, we opted to return to the urologist given that eight years is a long time and technology has changed. The new urologist agreed that given new procedures that there is a possibility that sperm could be found. DH flat out refused to have anyone else cut into his boys again, so we are continuing the donor route. DH had some trouble with his biopsy and his reaction to the meds (to include passing out and having me catch him...given the way he was falling, I can only imagine him splitting his stiches if I wasn't there), so I can understand that he doesn't want to do it again. Plus, there is the factor that you have to go on PROFILE afterwards and the stigma that comes with that. No one wants to be "that guy" that cannot participate 100% in PT or at work. Depending on your husband's MOS/job requirements, that can have a significant impact on what he can do during the day. All of that on top of the other emotions that come with the process. With that said, I think a lot of my DH's response is because he doesn't have certainty that sperm would be found...in your situation, the sperm is there, it just needs a way out. It's a very personal decision that you and DH need to agree upon. One consideration is that with DS you should be able to continue with IUIs (significantly less expensive) whereas the biopsy (TESE, mTESE) would require that you do IVF. Either way, you are not necessarily locked into having to have DH there for every step of the process. I actually did all of my IUIs while DH was deployed. DH and I are stationed separately...so right now he comes to town for my ER and ETs with IVF. WRAMC charges about $5700 for IVF with ICSI...then you have to worry about transportation, lodging and the cost of DS.

I noticed that your signature shows you are in NY. Have you looked into the New York State Infertility Demonstration Program (Infertility Demonstration Program)? Depending on where you are stationed, there are some decent options there (Syracuse for Ft. Drum, White Plains or Cornwall (RMA-NY) for West Point and a few others that link up with ROTC or some of the less standard assignment locations). Also, if you are at West Point or close to the city, you could look into the New Hope in NYC; they are running a clinical trial for IVF where pretty much all costs are covered (IVF Clinical Trial with cost of treatment included).

Good Luck!

[amyinohio]

SFgirl - Yes, my RE requires that you wean and have three normal periods before you start back on injectables. I also had internal bleeding from my ovary as a complication of my IVF (very very rare)... luckily they saved my ovary but they want my hormones back to normal to insure that my ovary is still functioning normally.

Armywife - The biopsy or TESE is not bad... for dh the anticipation was worse than the procedure. He has a very physical job and went back to full duty 3 days later. He would have gone back sooner but he was taking care of me after my ER! Good Luck!

Aida and I are both bouncing back from our colds and now dh is sick! Need to disinfect my germy house!!!

[SFBaygirl]

Amy: I am so glad that you and Aida are on the mend but sorry poor DH is now sick. I heard on the news that one of the germiest places in the house is actually the TV remote, so you may want to start disinfecting there .

It makes sense that they want some normal cycles before stimulating your body like that. What was your initial weaning plan or goal? Have you always wanted children close together in age? Maybe you will have some luck and get a pg au naturale. Wouldn't that be something.

[Dreamer16]

Hi everyone! Sorry its been a little while since I posted but I was really upset after this last BFN. I just feel defeated and like its never going to happen for me. But I am doing a little better and decided to come on here to catch up.

Atiz: Best of luck on your ER this coming week. Hoping you get lots of potential embies!

3rdtimes & Amyinohio: If you dont mind me asking...how many IUI's did you do before moving on to IVF? Was the switch to IVF your request or your Dr's suggestion? Just curious because I am on my 4th cycle and am so ready just to move on.

Erinvt: I just read your siggy and saw that you have a small pituitary tumor. I have one as well and I was just curious how big yours was and how you are being treated. (if you dont mind me asking of course) I just want to see if I am being handled correcly by my RE. Thanks for any info you may have.

Armywife: Welcome to the other boards!! : ) Its nice to see you over here as well. This is where I started and all of these ladies are incredible!

Hi to SFBAY, singing, mille, schatzi, Kris and everyone else! This week is almost over thanks god!

[erinvt]

Dreamer16--it is actually DH with the pituitary tumor--not me. The whole thing is odd actually....his prolactin level came in at 17.2 and the cut-off for "normal" is 17.1. Our local urologist (who I vow never to see again) thought he should get an MRI because of this. We got the MRI done, and went to a neurologist to discuss. The neurologist was so confused as to why we were referred to him, because when a pituitary tumor is a contributing factor to infertility--the prolactin level is sky high---not just .1 above normal! He said the tumor was so small he was surprised someone could even pick it out of the MRI without really examining it. He said for DH to come back in 2 years and get another MRI.

Basically, it was a big scare for nothing. No more local doctors for us...only specialists! The stories we have from the local ones are just ridiculous...from the first urologist who had to excuse himself to go look at a diagram to see where the vas deferens were located--to the 2nd urologist who told us the blood levels were perfectly normal when they really weren't....to the endocrinologist who basically told us to "just deal with it"...it's been a nightmare!

Good luck and stay positive. How was your tumor discovered? Do they feel as though it's a contributing factor to any infertility issues?

E

[SFBaygirl]

Dreamer: Glad to see you back on the boards! I am so sorry about your bfn. I think that Kris did 5 maybe before her bfp. That is an excellent question on when to move on to IVF.

Erin: I hear you about non-specialist URs!! For the second visit for my DH I went along too. He didn't even mention the FSH which was 39!!!!! I asked him about it. He sounded kind of surprised and said in one sentence something like "Oh, that means he has testicular failure and you will have to adopt or use donor sperm" He didn't even mention TESE or Clomid etc. just put my DH on the Androgel.

If it wasn't for this board he would still be on it and we would never have known. If we do end up getting pregnant it is due to the ladies here.

Hi to Melc, Angiefl, Mille, Kris, Katie, Singingirl, Ewebey, and everyone else as we get one day closer to Friday. I feel like being bad for dinner and having a whopper Jr. at BK. I am super lazy.

[amyinohio]

Dreamer - so sorry about your BFN, sending you a huge ! We were never able to do IUI so we went straight to IVF... with IVF you do have better odds of success but the cost difference is pretty hard to swallow!

SFgirl - I was hoping to breastfeed until Aida was a year old but I think my new goal is to get to six months. That would put us on target to hopefully start an IVF cycle in June or July. Last time we started in July and had our successful cycle in November...hopefully it can work out like that or better next time!

[ArmyWifeStrong]

DREAMER -
hi back at ya! thanks!

ATIZ, SFBaygirl, & Amyinohio:
WOW - what a wealth of knowledge you all are. Thanks!!! Now, if I could just get him to do the procedure... I figured that I would have to do IVF if he does that...and my insurance does not cover it.... I'm just not sure what to do. The picking out of donor sperm is just hell...too many options/catergories...it took me DAYS to figure out which sperm...and he only had ONE vile that didn't work this month. Now I have to pick out all over again...and I didn't really have any runner ups...
*SIGH* Just feel lost and sooooooo out of control of things.
To clarify the sperm issue for him - yes, he did at one point function, he has 2 kids. So it was only the reversal not working that put him out of this...But, he could have sperm...just how to get him to turn around. Even my hair falling out and stressing over needing to pick out another donor has not swayed him...
Sorry...just got AF today, so I'm a little upset...
Thanks everyone!!!

3rdtimesacharm:
deployment put this off for me 2 years...DH is an E7 and national guard. so we aren't on a base...our closest is an air base, the closest army is a couple hours away. He got a 290 on his PT...and doesn't need to do it again for a year...
Its hard...I am the FRG Leader...I give give give...while working full-time and then some...you go through the deployments too...and now I just want it to be my turn for lack of a better way of saying it. You know?
I'm going to check out your links you gave me too. Thanks!!

You guys are so great - thanks! I hope I can get through this...i'm pretty upset tonight.

[SFBaygirl]

Amy: Breastfeeding for 6 months is still awsome. She will have tons of antibodies from you by that time. A July IVF cycle would be great. You will have time to get your body in shape an Aida will be ready for a new brother or sister.

Armywife: The DS issue is a very tough one. I would strongly urge you and DH to consider visiting a reproductive endocrinologist. The fact that DH had sperm means that there is an excellent chance that there will be some retrieved and may not require as invasive a procedure as some you will read about here. Sometimes even a simple aspiration is enough with obstructive azoo. To do IVF/ICSI (where a sperm is directly implanted in an egg in a lab) you only need a few sperm.

Financing these things is always an issue as most insurance companies don't cover IVF at all. Many people here save for a long time, borrow money or use credit cards. It definately sucks!!

I myself am considering DS but in your case it may not even be needed. Keep in mind that there are so many options these days and hopefully your DH's discomfort would be minimal. It wouldn't be anything compared to pregancy and childbirth .

I apologize if you already said this, but where do you guys live? I bet someone here in this thread would know of an RE in your area. It is important to see someone who specializes in male factor infertility. Many REs just deal with the female side of things and won't be too helpful.

If you haven't started this already, I recommend reading this entire thread. I have actually read the whole thing twice. It made me feel infinately better and it is how I found the wonderful RE I am using now here in San Francisco.

Best of luck to you both and please let your DH know he isn't alone and that it is OK to feel bad about this stuff.

[3rdtimesthecharm]

Dreamer: Believe it or not, I did 10 before I quit. My RE would have let me keep going…I was the one that initiated the break. I know that they believed I could get pregnant and they wanted to help, but it was time to move on to IVF. One of the big reasons why the clinic let me keep going with IUI was they have a strict no donor gametes policy for IVF. Their policy (to this day) makes me very angry! Part of that anger is due to the fact that they have a lovely article that shows how that very clinic did a surrogacy. In all honesty, I probably could have fought harder, but I was afraid. I was afraid that if I stirred up the waters they would take a look at all of the military clinics that do IVF and force them to standardize. While I agree that they should be standardized…especially since I pay out of pocket (at a reduced price) for the treatment, I was afraid that the result of the battle would not be in my favor, so I opted to switch to one of the clinics that does allow donor gametes…that switch (and a 15 month deployment) resulted in about a three year break from TTC. With all of that, I personally wish I’d had the gumption (and the means) to move on to IVF sooner. I was in the haze where it all becomes routine and I was swayed by the fact that each cycle they told me it would be my cycle…that I would probably end up with multiples based upon my response. Perhaps that is why DH now asks me how many times with IVF will be enough. I know if it is ever time to move on, I will know the time, much like I did with IUI…but I had to be emotionally ready; which it sounds like you are. Given the overall cost of IVF, I would probably recommend doing at least one cycle with injectibles (I can’t remember if you’ve already done that)…part of that is because it gives you (and your RE) an idea of how you will respond to the meds so they can zero in on the right doses for you. Based off of your profile, I see that you are also in NY…check out the links that I posted for ArmyWife. I think it is awesome that NY has a program that will help with IF costs! I know that I did some calling around initially and some of the clinics have exhausted their funding for the current cycle and they won’t have more funding until March of 2010. The free option in NYC with New Hope doesn’t sound all that bad either.

ArmyWife: Having filled both capacities as Soldier and spouse, I hear you! It is hard to be the spouse that is “left behind” to deal with everything. I spent some time as DH’s FRG Co-Leader while essentially filling that role for my unit as well. Luckily with DH’s unit, there were some very experienced ladies, so things ran fairly smoothly. I think it is even harder when you are further away from some of the Army facilities that are there to give support…you just don’t have quite so many people around you that are going through similar emotions. As for the donors, when DH refused to consider further visits with the urologist, I told him that was fine, but essentially I felt it was his responsibility to pick out the DS at that point. It leads to a bit of a fuss, but what I do is I go to the website and copy the full list of donors that are at least partial matches for us and I edit the list to eliminate any of the no-gos that we have discussed. Once I have that list, DH has to give me his order of preference for the top 3 (in case I can’t get one of them). It makes him more involved in the process…I know he hates it, but I need him to fill that role. If you are not having luck with Fairfax Cryobank (we are currently using them), you can look into California Cryobank (we’ve used them in the past as have some of the ladies on here and I liked them) or Xytex (if I remember correctly they post baby pics). The whole process is frustrating and emotionally draining; I wish you luck and hope that you find your success soon!

AFM: I can’t sleep right now. The Lupron is giving me crazy hot flashes…won’t menopause be fun!

[Atiz]

SFBayGirl, Dreamer16 - thanx so much for your encouragemnt. I do believe that all good wishes will add up and help us.

ArmyWifeStrong, I know it is your decision and I can only give you advice but I say that you do have an excellent chance for your own biological baby/babies, well, don't let it slip. I am positive that your husband will understand this and will undergo this really light procedure. The financial side is more difficult. I'm sure relatives and friends will be happy to help you out in such an important question. In our country, 5 IVF cycles are free of charge, you only have to pay for the injections. So for us it is much easier. I sympathize with you and truly hope you will be able to persuade your husband and collect the money. I wish you all the best, really.

[lostandconfused]

So my sister triggered last night and will have ER Friday morning at 10 am. So i am going over to see here real quick tonight since it is my birthday and my niece has been asking about me since she woke up(we told her halloween cant come till i had a bday so she NEEDS to celebrate my birthday). Then once they see me they are dropping my niece at her grandma's and heading up to a hotel for the night(they have to check in at the hospital by 730am and it is about 1.5 hrs away)....and so while she is checking in i will be having my ultrasound and hopefully i will have lots of follies!

[SFBaygirl]

Lost: Happy birthday!! What an exciting time for you and your sister. What is your niece dressing as for Halloween? Halloween is one thing I am looking forward to when I (hopefully) have a LO of my own.

Atiz: Wow, 5 IVF cycles are included in your health care. Why oh why must our health care system suck so bad here in the US???? I fear that it will never get any better. Looks like the next few weeks will be very exciting for you also. Lots going on in this board.

3rdtimes: Sorry to hear about the hot flashes. I agree, menopause is not something I am terribly excited about as much as I get annoyed by AF.

Dreamer: I was also wondering if you have tried injectables along with IUI. Maybe that is a possibility.

Hello to Kris, Melc, TTB, Katie, Schatzi, Singing, Ewebey, Mille, AmyinOH, Angiefl, Armywife, Erin and anyone I forgot. This has been one seriously crappy day so far and I am feeling pretty depressed. Not on the IF front but at work. The whole situation of the business failing and having to get another job is getting me down today even though I know it is for the best.

I have been doing something I am not sure that is wise or not. I have been reading the due date buddies threads which gives me major mixed feelings. I am so hopeful seeing those ladies' stories dealing with all types of IF but so sad that I am not one of them yet. I can't seem to stop myself from reading them. I started reading the Feb due date thread because my childhood bff is due then but now I am reading all of them. Man, I think I need some professional help here . Or maybe just a really big glass of some good wine.

Take care ladies, sorry for the venting there.

[amyinohio]

3rdtimes - Augh the Lupron hot flashes suck! I was begging dh to let me turn on the ac in November in Ohio! Good luck with this cycle!

Lost - GL at your ultrasound goes well tomorrow! Hope you have lots of follies!

SFgirl - sorry to hear about your job, must be hard to go in each day knowing that things are not going so well. Hope you find a new job very soon.

[Dreamer16]

Erinvt: I agree with you that its odd for the Dr's to have focused on your DH's small tumor when as far as I am concerened it doesnt affect male fertility. Who knows maybe im wrong. As for me it all started with a blood test and my prolactin reading was 77. SO they send me for an MRI and low and behold I had a 4mm tumor. The Dr def felt it was a factor in my fertility so they have me on meds that apparently get my homone levels under control....we will see I guess. I cant believe all your horror stories with the Dr's. Where do you live? Is there any other place within a few hours that you can go to instead of these local "nightmares?" I think some Dr's got their degrees out of a craker jack box.

SFBay: Thanks for the welcome back! I did not try injectibles with IUI. I just feel like if I am going to go through the hell of that then I want more than a 15% chance of getting pregnant. I dont know...I am at such a crossroads as to what to do!!

3rdtimes: Wow...I cant believe you did 10! That must have been both emotionally and physically draining. I can definately understand not having the means to move on to IVF. Fortunetly my insurance covers the cost of IVF....so thats not a factor for me...until my insurance runs out of course. I really appreciate all the info you gave...its nice to know there are other women who have been through the same situations and are willing to help. Thanks for the links too....I will definately need financial assistance in the future. Sorry about the hot flashes...I guess thats what I have to look foward too..haha.

Lost and confused: Good luck with your sono. I am praying you have a TON of follies just waiting to be removed!!

Hi to everyone else....thank god tomorrow is Friday!!