[chicagosweethearts]

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 7 months. I am not a very patient person and after getting the all clear from my ob/gyn decided to have my husband see have a SA done. We finally got the results on Friday and the doctor said he had 1 sperm in on sample (yes 1 not 1 million, just 1) and other had 3 although 1 was only normal and moving and the other two were twitching. I am so worrried. There is nothing I have wanted more in my life than to have a family and be a mom. I am finding it very hard to control my emotions. It is all just very overwhelming right now. I want to be there for my DH in every way I can. I am having a really hard time knowing how to just be there for him and deal with the diagnosis - without wondering what life will be like if we never have a family? I don't know how to deal with one and not the other as they are so closely connected.

Long before we got married I asked my husband what his thoughts were if one day we found out one of us were unable to have kids. How would he feel about having a non traditonal family? He told he was on board 100%. Now that this has been happening he is unsure. I know this must be so much for him to deal with. I can't imagine. All I need to know is that reagardless of how we have a family one day we will. Is that being selfish? Am I asking too much? I feel so confused. Do you think he is having a hard time honoring what he said b/c all of this is so real and new now?

We go to the doctor today to find out more. I am trying to stay hopefully. My DH also has low testostorene level so he has been taking Clomid for about a month. The doctor told him to keep taking that for 2 more months and then he would do another SA. Has anyone had good luck with raising such a low count using this drug? The doctor also was him to go for genetic testing. Also, we live in Chicago. If anyone has a great Male Infertility specialist to send us to please share the information.

[ljnotr]

Hi and Welcome! My husband has azoospermia and was just diagnosed with Klinefelters Syndrome. While we are both devastated by this news, we have decided the right choice for us is to use donor sperm. It is a really tough decision to make, and one that was not easy, but we want a family and realize that becoming a father has nothing to do with the genetic component and all about the emotional connection that a father has with his child.

I would suggest that you get the genetic testing done as it can rule out or identify many things that may help you decide how to proceed. As you read others posts on here, you will see how many different scenarios and treatments that are out there for male infertility. Try to stay positive and be there for each other. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions! Good Luck!

[umnurse24]

I can completey understand all you thoughts and emotions on this very sensitive issue. And, no you are not wrong for feeling this way. These are all very real and raw emotions. As hard as it is for me to say and as hard as it is for you to hear, you are going to have to be patient with your husband and this whole process. I know it is so devastating and frustrating because you want you baby/ family now, but it is going to be a process. I do believe your husband will come around to the different options of having a family once the initial shock wears off... which might take some time. Try to be strong and have faith that one day you will have your family.

[daisy2006]

All of your emotions and feelings are completely normal. You definitely need to give this a little bit of time to sink in. I jumped to hundreds of conclusions when we found out about my husband's SA results. I was devastated and swore I would never do IVF, that I would consider Donor sperm or adoption. After some time passed, and after many long discussions, I changed my mind.

You need to find out what your options are before you start trying to make decisions. I know this is so overwhelming when you first find out, but just take your time and be there for each other. I know that my dh had issues w/ his inability to father a child naturally. It really hit him hard and I did my best to be strong for him.

Just listen to the doctors advise and try to take everything one step at a time. Good luck w/ your journey.

[chicagosweethearts]

Thank you for sharing your experience. We are still so new to all of this. Today I made two appointments with various fertility centers - hoping we are able to raise my DH's sperm count to 5 million using Clomid and that we will be able to use his sperm for insemination. Fingers crossed...saying lots lots of prayers. I want us to be ready to go with a doctor we are comfortable with as soon as we know his situation. Again..lots an lots of prayers!

[hopprn]

chicagosweethearts- Hi, sorry you are going through this. We live in the chicago suburbs, and saw Dr. Craig Niederberger from UIC- his office is on Michigan avenue. He is an urologist that specializes in male infertility (andrology). He did surgery on my husband in Jan (mTese) and even though it was not successful, he (Dr. N) has had lots of success. My husband has setoli-cell only, so he does not have the germ cells to produce sperm. He is very good at what he does, he has written many articles on male infertility. He is top notch! He performs micro surgery (mTese) which only a few in the country do. Good luck to you, and if you need any addtl info please let me know. BTW, since your husband had one, there may be more in the testicle!

[shellza]

Hi there!

So sorry to hear you are going through this...we have just had the same thing but with a SA of nothing....Its a really hard situation to deal with as if your like me, which you seem to be, a family is something you have wanted for so long. Its normal to feel the feelings you are...i felt selfish as well...and its a hard road. We have a testicular biopsy in march and im dealing with the fact that if no sperm is found...my journey is over as my DH is opposed to donor sperm or adoption, so it is really hard. I do feel for you...i dont know how i will feel if we dont find anything... i dont understand why this is thrown at good people who would actually give kids a loving home..obviously we must be strong enough to deal with it. Hang in there and if you ever want to chat, send a message. No feeling is unworthy of a chat! We are all in the same boat on here...unfortunately...but at least we have each other to bounce off!!! At least you are in a position to get the best possible advice...we cant find anyone in our country who will do an mTESE so we have to just do with what we can get. I wish you all the best and like i said, drop a line whenever....i know how hard it is!!!

[jojoma]

I understand your frustration and anxiety.

My husband and I have tried to have a baby for 5 years. After two years we went to the doctor and no sperm was found. It was devastating and we had to take a break from all appointments. After another year and a half, we went back to the doctor and my husband is now fully onboard, as difficult as it is. At the moment he's considering the mTESE procedure, but again, I need to give him time to ponder.

I think it's particularly difficult for men to deal with infertility. My husband says that his biggest issue at the moment is that he doesn't have any other men to talk to. His friends freak out about it and our nurse hasn't found anyone who wants to talk to him.

You will see that things will turn out just fine, and that this challenge will make you stronger. Hang in there.

[kinglouie1968]

Hello,

I'm in a very similar situation with my count, but it is not nearly as high as your DH's count: mine is zero, even after a TESE and removal of a varicocele. My doc found out for me that I have a AZFb microdeletion, which means that the chromosomal part of me that tells my body to make sperm was lost somehow during the moment of my conception. I have never made a single sperm in my life.

Anyhow, with my rare condition I have done a lot of research and looking around. I highly recommend Dr. Lawrence Ross who is a professor of Urology at University of Illinois at Chicago. He's very highly regarded and has been practicing medicine for over thirty years. His bedside manor is excellent. He answers any question you have thoroughly and patiently. His office is on north Michigan ave.

Your dh will have to accept this situation and change his attitude. It takes time.

Good luck.

[04ym]

Look into TESE. It look us almost a year for the doctors to get around to talking to us about the alternatives, so make sure you don't rely to heavily on them, do your own research. My husband had 0 sperm and it turned out he had plenty they just were blocked. We were able to retrieve 3 straws of "great" sperm and able to do IVF. We had a miscarriage at 9 weeks but we have 4 frozen embryos left as well as the straws. It's been am emotional rollercoaster ride and I really want off but I also want children so, as hard as it has been I'll keep at it.
Good luck to you!
Just a note to the guys: My husband said he uncomfortable for a few days (3) but two painkillers (reg tylenol) every few hours and ice did the trick. It isn't as painful as you might think and the recovery time is quick.

[04ym]

Originally Posted by chicagosweethearts

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 7 months. I am not a very patient person and after getting the all clear from my ob/gyn decided to have my husband see have a SA done. We finally got the results on Friday and the doctor said he had 1 sperm in on sample (yes 1 not 1 million, just 1) and other had 3 although 1 was only normal and moving and the other two were twitching. I am so worrried. There is nothing I have wanted more in my life than to have a family and be a mom. I am finding it very hard to control my emotions. It is all just very overwhelming right now. I want to be there for my DH in every way I can. I am having a really hard time knowing how to just be there for him and deal with the diagnosis - without wondering what life will be like if we never have a family? I don't know how to deal with one and not the other as they are so closely connected.

Long before we got married I asked my husband what his thoughts were if one day we found out one of us were unable to have kids. How would he feel about having a non traditonal family? He told he was on board 100%. Now that this has been happening he is unsure. I know this must be so much for him to deal with. I can't imagine. All I need to know is that reagardless of how we have a family one day we will. Is that being selfish? Am I asking too much? I feel so confused. Do you think he is having a hard time honoring what he said b/c all of this is so real and new now?

We go to the doctor today to find out more. I am trying to stay hopefully. My DH also has low testostorene level so he has been taking Clomid for about a month. The doctor told him to keep taking that for 2 more months and then he would do another SA. Has anyone had good luck with raising such a low count using this drug? The doctor also was him to go for genetic testing. Also, we live in Chicago. If anyone has a great Male Infertility specialist to send us to please share the information.

Dr. Shlegel is the pioneer in male infertility. Take a look at his website he practices at Cornell.

[lizcon1211]

Hey, I just joined this forum today mainly to get useful information but also to connect with people int he same situation as me. None of my friends have had a problem having children and I just feel alone sometimes. My husband had surgery to correct a varicocele this past Dec. His counts were in the 2,000 to 3,000 range with abnormal morphology. The doc told us to try for the following 3 months and then come back for a second count. I was wondering if anyone out there was in the same situation. Has anyone had postive results from this surgery? I am trying to remain hopeful...

[drperelladutton]

I just wanted to let everyone on this thread know that my husband also was diagnosed with azoospermia... none at all. This was a devastating discovery for him. My husband immediately said he would never adopt, and would definitely not use donor sperm. He explained to me that he felt he was less than a man because his whole biological job as a man was to be able to produce a child, and he was a failure. He said that donor sperm or adoption would be a constant visual reminder of his failures. We have undergone the IVF process for a while now.... he had a biopsy and they did recover a couple thousand sperm.... we are currently pregnant with twins, so things can work out for you too.... (although I'm still nervous about losing the twins b/c of my history of miscarriage.) But it is a VERY LONG process, with a lot of worrying.... DH's feelings should also be respected. My hubby admitted that we could look at adoption after a couple years after his diagnosis, so feelings do change with time, love, and support....

[lisa_kev]

I 100% understand all the hurt you're going thru. For DH and me, we've been TTC for 9 years. It's been a very long journey. In 2003 DH had his SE test done and it was devastating. No sperm seen. Zero. This was due to the fact that he had leukemia when he was 3. We knew in the back of our mind that we might have troubles, but because his cancer came so early, we figured he'd have swimmers when he hit puberty.

Because of financial reasons, we held off for another long hard 5 years. To be honest with you, it was like a mourning process. In the end we knew what we wanted to do, that was to use a donor but we didn't have the funds to do so. DH and are both very savvy and we decided to wait until we could financially support our TTC journey.

In 2008 we had to have another SE analysis done per our insurance company only to be rejected because they won't offer assistance in couples using donor sperm.

So long story short, it has been a long road for us but finally we're on the right track and I'm now in my 1st treated IUI donor cycle.

Remember that there are other options out there. Take some time to really think. Know that you're not alone. I was afraid in the beginning because I've always wanted to carry a child, experience everything that pregnancy has to offer and it scared me to think I'd never experience that. Don't give up.

If you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to PM me.