[themalefactor]

Hey all

I just joined and wanted to introduce myself before I start replying and you're all wondering who I am!

I'm a 29 year old guy from Australia, my wife and I are about to start IUI/IVF. You may have worked out from my username that it is at least me who is the cause of the road we are travelling! I have known about my fertility issues for a long time and we have always known we would have to use an assisted method.

I don't want to dwell on the medical side of things, I have no sperm and that's that. I am really just here for emotional support for myself, and finding ways to help support my wife and stay strong for her.

We have been through all the counselling and testing stages and now we are about to start the 'real' medical process - one shot at IUI in a month or so and then start IVF in August. We are using a sperm donor who is known to us; only immediate family (parents, brothers and their partners) know exactly what is going on and the timing of things, other people know we are going through the process but no detailed information. Nobody knows who the donor is and that's how all three of us want it.

I think that's enough about me. Now that the formalities are out of the way, I'm looking forward to meeting some other guys here and getting into some chats about this whole impending possible parenthood!

Cheers guys
J

[hopeless?]

You'll find a lot of people here to help with anything you may need! Good Luck with your IUI.

[liv]

Welcome. Wish you and your wife much luck and will support you as you go.

liv

[JustPeachy]

Welcome! We did IVF due to male factors and it will be wonderful for you to be so supportive of the process. If it gets quiet in this section of the forum, feel free to jump in anywhere! We have lots of DH's (dear husbands) that post in various area and keep us updated. Good luck and lots of sticky vibes!

[Sarah_84]

!!! I'm glad you found us!

[piffy]

I wish you and your wife the best. It is great to see a Daddy-to-be on here looking for support.

[cathie]

Hi there ! I realy hope you and your wife get your the first shot ! Here is a site that my good friend in Aulstrlia started not to long a go I know she would love for you to post ! Fertility Friends Australia

[themalefactor]

Thanks everybody for the welcome, it's good to see such an active community!

I have joined the Australian forum too, thanks for the link.

LJ
(who couldn't work out how to edit his post and fix his name!)

[AzooDude]

Welcome aboard, LJ!

As you've probably noticed by now, most of the active posters around here are women - even in the forums about male factor infertility - but there are a few of us guys around. I've got nothing but good things to say about these women, but I do enjoy seeing another dude occasionally. I've seen lots of very interesting and helpful perspectives on all this stuff by women, and besides helping me directly, it has helped me (I think) better relate to what my wife is going through, but there have only been a handful of guys, so I spend more time posting as "supportive husband" than I do as the guy who was and still is sort of freaked out by the phrase, "testicular failure".

It looks like you and DW have already chosen to be careful about who you tell about your cycling plans and timing, and I just wanted to say I think that's a good idea. One of the most frequent problems or issues that people going through this have is when lots of people know about it, that means lots of questions about how things are going. When the news is good, there's not much problem, but if/when there are disappointing diagnoses, pregnancy test results, etc., it can be very emotionally taxing to have to field all those questions, even when most of the people asking them are trying to be supportive. One good tip that we picked up from a friend who had done IVF was that even with people who you choose to keep "in the loop", be vague about the exact timing of procedures or tests, so you won't be getting calls *that day* asking how things went. If being vague doesn't feel right, give a date that's several days after the actual day, so you at least have time to deal with the news privately before having to share it with everyone else. If you ever have news so great and exciting you can't wait to share it, hardly anyone will be offended that they received it earlier than expected, but when it comes to the difficult news, building in that extra time for yourselves is worth it. Another approach I've heard people recommend is to tell people you share with to assume that no news is bad news, so please don't ask for updates, because you'll share when there is either good news, or bad news that you're ready to share. That approach can work, but if you don't expect your family/friends to have that much self-restraint, telling white lies about the exact timing is the easier way to go.

I look forward to seeing you around.

[themalefactor]

Thanks for the welcome!

I wanted to thank you for the idea of not telling people exactly when it's happening, even those who know the details. This is definitely something I will discuss with my wife...

You are totally right about all the questions and that's the exact reason we chose not to tell people. One of my brothers went through IVF with his wife and they told everybody everything; they got so many questions it was ridiculous. We learnt a great deal from their experience in that regard!

I don't think we could do the self-restraint route, knowing our family!

Look forward to seeing you around too and hopefully meeting some other guys.

LJ

[prayingforjustone]

Welcome! It is great to have another guy on the forum! I posted quite frequently back in January when I had my varicocele surgery, but since then, I haven't been on here much.

Now that my new SA results are being sent to my house in a couple of days, I am going to need some moral support and hopefully give some! I have a feeling we are going to be embarking on the IVF/ICSI route, but I'll know more after this weekend.

This community is great because we all deeply desire to be dad's, and that's a great common bond. I look forward to chatting and sharing about our journey's through infertility. I am up here in Minnesota, where it finally stopped snowing (sad...i know)!