[jenedens6102]

All the pictures I post are jpg and I have to resize them down to 20% to get them to fit most of the time.

Akk, I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and I'm sure the cabin fever doesn't help matters. Is it possible in the evenings when DH is home to allow yourself a nice 10-15 minute walk. It gets you outdoors, you are by yourself and you are getting some exercise. This is something I talked to DH about when I was still on maternity leave but now that I'm back to work I'm getting enough alone time and walking time. It's all about me and Ethan when I get home and then us as a family when DH gets home.

Evita, thanks for the anniversary wishes. We did have a very nice time yesterday and while I was still missing my boy I was able to get through the day. However, now that it's Sunday afternoon and he's with my mom (who took him because I mentioned I had housework to do) I feel like I haven't seen him all weekend. So we have one more task to do and then we are going to get him. I appreciate my mom wanting to watch him but I can get this same cleaning done with DH home to watch E.

The dedication today went very well, it was extremely hot and humid today so we were all sweating but it was lovely. The pastor gave us a great message for DH, for myself and to both of us as parents in addition to a charge for Ethan. He didn't realize what Ethan's name meant until he started preparing for today and he said it definitely fits between what we've been through and who we are that we'd give Ethan such a strong biblical name with meanings that encompass it all. I do have pictures and I promise I'll post soon. I have to finish the cleaning now though!

Oh and for the past two nights Ethan has slept THROUGH the night. He didn't get up until 6 both mornings and I was up about four times to check on him. He must be falling into that routine now too. He's still only taking four ounces consistently but I try to give him a six ounce bottle before bed and if he doesn't want it all I don't force it on him. Something I don't think I'll ever be comfortable doing with his reflux. Anyway, talk to you girls soon!

[amfandrmf]

Jen, sounds like you had an adventurous weekend! Saturday sounded like you had a lot going on and the dedication pics were so amazing! I'm glad it went perfectly. I know for us, we plan on celebrating their baptism date every year from now on. I know how you feel when your mom took Ethan. I had the same feelings this weekend. I really missed my girls, even though I was with them the whole time. We had that birthday party on Saturday and we were there until 9 p.m. and that whole day everyone wanted to hold the girls and I really didn't hold them once all day. Then Sunday, we had church and then went out to lunch and they slept the whole time in their car seats. Once we got home, I had to hold them tight. I missed so much holding and loving them. Oh, and congrats on Ethan sleeping through the night! That's so great.

akk, sounds like your sleeping schedule is going well. Trust me, we don't have perfect nights every time. Lately, if we don't feed Mila enough before she goes to sleep, she'll wake us up four hours later. So, we definitely are still trying to improve on this. How are the meds working for you so far? I sure hope you're doing better. I know how you feel about leaving DH with the babies. I know how hard it is as well and so feel guilty when I leave him alone to just go and take a nap.

Evita & Jen, I know my relationship has changed a little bit with DH as well. Not to get too personal, but I just haven't felt the need for sex. I feel kinda guilty, but I just don't have the desire. He has been really great about it though. He's also been okay with me taking out my emotions on him after I had a hard day with the girls. I tend to yell at him, since I can't yell at them.

Evita, sounds like you had a great time with your friends. That must have been nice to relax a little bit. Now, we're back into another work week. I know how much I enjoy the weekends knowing DH is there to help me out basically all day. And, I can actually get things done and enjoy my day a little more.

Well, as for me, I had another interview yesterday. It was for admin for the local courthouse. I think I still really want the position at the hospital more. I'm hoping to hear something back from them by next week. But, I'll call them on Friday to see what's going on. The girls are doing great. They were weighed yesterday. Maddie is now 8 lbs 11 oz and Mila is now 10 lbs 8 oz. I can't believe how fast they're growing.

[jenedens6102]

Anna, those are great weights for the girls. What a jump from the last appointment. Sounds wonderful. Have you heard anything back from the hospital interview? I know what you mean about not really having the desire for sex, I don't either. I lost it while I was pregnant and have only had it maybe twice since! Poor DH. But I'm sure in due time we'll get back into the swing of things. I'm the one who is always ready to jump into bed shortly after I put Ethan down so that if he wakes up I don't struggle with getting up myself. DH on the other hand still stays up until midnight or so, sorry but after a few hours of sleep I'm really not in the mood! Our day did turn out perfect on Sunday, the weather was perfect, the company we had couldn't have been better....we couldn't have asked for more.

[amfandrmf]

Jen, I'm glad I'm not the only one that lost my drive. I feel so bad for DH. We were nervous during the pregnancy, so we didn't at all. I know they say its safe, but we really wanted to be careful. So, its been almost a year for poor DH. I feel like when we go to bed that I just want to sleep because you never know what kind of sleep we'll get with the girls. Its just a precious commodity that I don't want to waste a minute of it. I think I'm also a little self conscious about how my body looks now as well. Nothing looks the same anymore. I think once I get a little self confidence back that it may be better.

[jenedens6102]

Believe me, I understand completely. I was very nervous early in my pregnancy too - especially after our miscarriage. We didn't even attempt to BD for the first time until 10 weeks and then I started spotting so there was nothing more for another 5 weeks or so. I think total during pregnancy we might have BD'd 5 times. In the end it just wasn't comfortable no matter what DH wanted. Now I'm with you, we never know what the night will hold and I'm not trying to miss a wink of sleep. I'm hypothyroid though so I'm always tired, the more sleep the better. The only time this wasn't an issue was while I was pregnant. I honestly never felt better (physically) then when I was pregnant - all my issues went away. Hence the reason DH would love to knock me up again as soon as he possibly could. But I keep telling him it took us five years to get here but then we got pregnant twice in less then 6 months so who knows what might happen once we start trying again. But right now just isn't the time, nor do I have the energy for all that baby makin!

[akk]

Hi ladies,

i guess it takes about 3-4 weeks for the meds to start working...so i am just waiting it out to feel better. i saw a counselor yesterday per teh OBs instructions, but i really didn't care for her. But i did agree with her that i probably have anxiety as much as or more than depression. my mom has been here for 12 weeks and she is leaving on thursday, so i am very anxious now...part of me doesn't want to see her go, the other wants to have her leave so we can try it on our own.

but i think i am afraid of being left alone with our kids...i'm afraid i can't handle it

just wondering...have any of your babies startled themselves (with the moro reflex) and then had their arms and legs get "stuck" in the flexed position? this happened to DS and he got really scared when he couldn't pull his arms and legs back in....we had to put them down for him.

[jenedens6102]

AKK, I haven't experienced this with Ethan. He's definitely startled himself and shot his arms and legs out straight but he's been able to bring them right back in. I'd definitely mention this to his doctor. I can understand the anxiety of being on your own with the babies. I never had my mom out as most do but I do know that those first few days and even weeks on your own there is a lot of learning to do. But I know you'll be fine. Both babies are going to be just fine, you are a great mother and you'll do your best for them in everything you do.

[amfandrmf]

Jen, how long are you guys gonna wait before trying again? Do want another little one in the next year or are you gonna wait a few years?

akk, I'm sorry it takes that long for the meds to work. That is kinda scary that it works that way. You would think when women are going through this that they would have something to help out right away before it gets any worse. I'm sure you'll be great at motherhood even with your mom gone. I know I was so nervous once my DH went back to work. I didn't think I could do it on my own, but you'll be surprised at how well you do. My girls have never gotten stuck before. I've never heard of that. Were they okay once you helped them out? Did it just happen that one time? I would mention it to the doctor next time you go in or if it happens more than once, I would call and see what they have to say.

[jenedens6102]

My plan is to wait until Ethan turns one. Stop my BCPs within that cycle (either right before or right after his birthday). Being that it took us five years I don't want to wait too long but I also didn't want to jump the gun obviously. Between the long recovery I had with my c-section and the time I want to give Ethan this is my decision. DH wants to go again already but I'm just not there. It wasn't until about two months that I started even thinking about number two....but it'll be a little while at least.

[amfandrmf]

Jen, sounds like a good plan. For us, I'm still in limbo on whether or not I should take the chance of getting pregnant. I was the same way in regards to my health. I never felt better than when I was pregnant and I enjoyed it so much even with all the risks and bedrest. I watched your video of Ethan's first laugh. Soooo cute!!!! I am so jealous. The girls are a little behind being preemies, so I can't wait for them to start to laugh. They smile a lot more now and make some cooing noises. When was Ethan's first laugh? I'm hoping our girls will get there soon. That just is so rewarding when they reach those milestones.

Okay. So, I'm nervous about that hospital position I interviewed for. She called me today and said that they were still interviewing for the position but wondered if I would be interested in a couple other positions that they had available. So, she's calling me back to set up another interview for a position in their pediatric department. I'm just hoping I get any position at the hospital. I don't know if that means they don't think I'm a good fit for the first one I interviewed for or what's going on. But, she said I would still be in the running for the position even if I interview for other available spots. I just don't know what to think anymore. I don't want to have to go back to my old employer. I just couldn't stand working there.

[jenedens6102]

Anna, Ethan's first laugh was this past Saturday so 5/31. I hear it's very uncommon for babies to be laughing this early so do NOT for one minute think it's because the girls are behind developmentally. For being preemies they are still pretty dead on if you ask me. As for the hospital position, I'd go ahead and see what options are available for you - especially if this is what you want to do. I can understand not wanting to go back to your old employer. Sometimes a stressful environment is gas on the fire and hurts more then helps. I was at my old employer for five years and it was a very high stress, lots of overtime uncertainty (meaning you never knew each day how many hours you'd be working in a day but it was never less then 8-10) and too much time on the road. It wasn't until a coworker passed away at the age of 40 from a heart attack that many of us realized life wasn't worth wasting with so much stress to bring us down. Money doesn't buy happiness. Anyway, that's my monologue of the day - sorry about that!

[amfandrmf]

Jen, I do appreciate the advice. Unfortunately, I don't know what else to do if I don't get hired on soon. The money we had saved up for time off with the girls is going to run out by the end of the month. It didn't last as long as we had hoped since I had to be on bedrest and my previous employer doesn't cover anything.

I don't feel so bad now that my girls aren't laughing yet. But, I'm still so jealous! He was so adorable! I just can't wait for them to get to that point.

So, Mila had a wierd episode last night. Before her last feeding of the night, she just started screaming uncontrollably. She wouldn't take her bottle and we couldn't calm her down at all. She had a small fever of 100.4, but besides that she was fine. After about an hour or two, she finally calmed down and her temperature went back to normal. I have no idea where that came from and why it happened. Any ideas?

[jenedens6102]

Could it have been gas? Ethan had three of those episodes this weekend in fact. He would only take an ounce of his bottle on Sunday but twice on Saturday he spent a good half hour just screaming. At first we thought he didn't like DH's impersonation because that was when it started but he did it again when we went to put him to bed. It's just not typical for Ethan to be anything but happy all the time. Not only did he make the worst face we'd ever seen but he turned beat red and had real, big tears. Poor guy. But not too long after he finally gave him mylicon drops did he start burping and farting. Darn gas bubbles.

I can understand the money running out sooner then you expected. I wasn't trying to offer advice, just telling you my little story of why I'm here with my current employer versus where I was before (when I was doing the majority of my treatments and testing). We'll keep our fingers crossed that something comes from the hospital positions and soon.

[amfandrmf]

Maybe it was gas. I guess I never thought gas could make her scream like that when its never happened that way before. Next time she does that, I'll try our Gas X. I don't really know if she was passing gas at all during the episode or if she burped at all. I was putting Maddie to bed while DH was handling it.

I can't imagine having that kind of job and going through treatments. You really need a job that is flexible and not so stressful while doing fertility treatments. My boss made me take a pay cut during the treatments because I wasn't able to do all the traveling that she wanted me to.

Are you going in for a three-month weight check at all? Ours is next week Wednesday. Although, we had that sneak peek on Monday, so we won't be too surprised when we hear the numbers.

Back to the other subject...do you think it could be teething? I've heard that they can have fevers when they start to teethe. Just now to calm her down, I grabbed one of those water filled chewing toys because she started really chewing hard on my finger and she seemed to love it. It calmed her down and now she's sleeping. Just a thought. Ugh...I'm such a rookie at all of this. Do you know I can't even do the suppositories. I have DH do it all the time. I just hate making them cry. I'm just lucky he's willing to do that for me.

[crissa]

hi ladies...............miss you all and I LOVE the pics of all the munchkins!!Alexander has consumed alot of my time...hehe we just went to the dcotor last week and he is 25 1/2 inches and 13 pounds...hehe....his acid reflux is MUCH better.....he should be coming off the meds by next month! sleeping is still an issue.....but we are slowly getting there.......how is everyone???i feel so lost coming back and not really knowing too much of whta has been going on......hope all is well!!!!