[Blia]

My first IVF:

I got the call from my doctor today and my bloodwork for my BETA hCG was .
I was prepared for this but didn't know it was going to be this hard to old up.
I was at work and cried till I couldn't cry anymore. Came home early, ate frozen pizza and cereal and had a wine cooler and cried all the while.
Didn't know if I wanted to come in here today to share my disappointment and pain.
But I decided to. Everything we go through only to find out we're not pregnant. Now I know how many of you felt when you found out you weren't pregnant after IVF....
My heart hurts. My eyes swollen. My husband's not here.
I'm just very sad... It's hard to be strong. Even if there wasn't a fetus growing, it still felt like a life has been taken away from me...
I'm going to give up having a baby. I'm not even thinking about adoption. I wasn't meant to have a baby...
Thank you for you reading this...

[mia23]

I am so sorry. I have not been thru this but I can only imagine the hurt you are feeling. There are wonderful women on here who have been in the same place and will help you get thru this. Again I am not an expert but from my understanding one cycle does not determine your ability to ever become pregnant in the future. This can and will still happen for you

[kblythe]

I have been through this twice, and it sucks more than words can say. Even if there was never a baby, it still counts as a loss in my book, and I think you should grieve as long as you need to.

Like you, I thought that I was destined to never have a baby. I underwent my last FET with donor embryos, and I was completely pessimistic to the point where I never even took an HPT, because I figured, why bother? But much to my surprise, I got pregnant with my last attempt. So sometimes miracles do happen, even for those of us convinced that we'll never have a baby.

Take care of yourself.

Kathryn.

[dherbert]

Aww Hun, I know exactly how you are feeling. All of us that have been through a failed cycle of IVF know your pain. We put out so much effort during the IVF process, and just know it has to work, as this is most of our last hope, and then hear those terrible words.
We all grieve and say we just are not meant to be parents, but this is just not true! Please do not give up hope after just one cycle, try once or twice more and give all you can, to hear those precious words,BFP. Good Luck and please know we are all here for you.

[nobabyinSeattle]

Hi Blia,


I am sorry you’re having such a horrible day. I have never gone through IVF but I have taken Clomid many times and I remember the doctor saying “your body is not responding”. I remember the frustration, sadness and emptiness I had in my heart.
I had a miscarriage less than two weeks ago, after trying for many year. My heart hurts and my eyes are also swollen and if you lived in Seattle I would say… let’s go for coffee and cry together.
We have to be strong and you have to positive. I can imagine the pain you feel. I am sure you will be a mother… but you have to keep on trying.
Once again,, sorry about your situation.
Hugs,
A.

[KELLIF4]

So sorry for your BFN !!! I know i've already been trying to deal with it not working this time so Im not as dissapointed ... but it's not going to be that real until you hear those words.
Hang in there, it'll work one of these times !!!

[kennedysmom]

Blia-My heart really goes out to you. We are all there with you in spirit, you are not alone. Its okay to be disappointed. There is so much that us women hope & anticipate for.

Give yourself the time you need to grieve. When thats over, I think you find the strength to try again.
I'll keep you in my prayers.

[casb77]

I'm so sorry you're hurting. Kblythe is absolutely right, this is a grieving process. You didn't lose a life, but you did lose a hoped-for life. This will certainly suck for a while. I hope your DH will be home with you soon. Take all the time and ice cream you need and I hope you find the strength to move forward. You DO deserve to be a mother if that's what you want. All of us that are trying this hard to be mothers totally deserve it!

[russelle36]

I'm really sorry. I am in the middle of my first and last IVF. At my age it feels like everything is riding on this IVF cycle. I'm too scared to think of how I will feel if it doesn't work...All I know for sure is that infertility really sucks! I know it's easier said than done, but try and keep your chin up.

[Georgia Girl]

I am so sorry for you having to go through this. I know what you are going through. It hurts so bad. We are all here for you. Don't give up. You are in my prayers.

[Blia]

Thank you, ladies, for your words of encouragement and support. I don't want to give up having a baby but the cost of IVF is very high.
My RE doctor asked me to call the reception to schedule an appointment with them to discuss what to do next, but I haven't called yet.
Once again, thank you for your understanding and support! I truly appreciate all you ladies in here!

[casb77]

Originally Posted by Blia

Thank you, ladies, for your words of encouragement and support. I don't want to give up having a baby but the cost of IVF is very high.
My RE doctor asked me to call the reception to schedule an appointment with them to discuss what to do next, but I haven't called yet.
Once again, thank you for your understanding and support! I truly appreciate all you ladies in here!

Call when you're ready, they'll still be there. Do what you can when you can. Take care of yourselves and you and DH will get through this.

[bq122]

Blia - I am sorry to hear about how you feel. You are in my prayers. I pray that God gives you the strength to get thru this hard to time.
God Bless....

[jandm]

Blia I know it is tough. It feels very sad and it is a baby lost. No matter that it did not make it to a big bean it still was a baby. It was created and put inside you so you just grieve as long as you need.
It gets hard and it gets easy. I just found out I had a chemical pregnancy and I have been up and down since then.
there are so many reminders that it did not work so just ask that you be given strength to know that this is not the end of your road.
You have the desire and until that desire is peace you keep trying.
love and hugs. this forum is the only thing that has helped me so hang in there and keep coming back and know you are not alone.