[ekburke]

Hi Missy,

I cannot say I have ever confronted her...she knows I am not a fan of hers. I am honestly worn out and somewhat scared that she may go off. She is not a terribly stable human being!

Hope everyone is doing well. I am exhausted. This was my first day with kids at school and they wore me out!

[jana]

Erin,
I've always hated the first two weeks of school. It always took me that long to adjust to getting up early again and being on the go all day with barely a lunch break. It's kind of nice not having to work through all this IVF stuff, but I really miss the kids.

[historyteach]

Erin - i know how hard it can be to deal with difficult people who are mean... if it becomes a real problem and she is causing problems it might just be for the best to stand up... although i know it can be really difficult. i am so sorry that you have to deal with this.

i also had my first day with the students today and i am actually exhausted and wow, was it an interesting day. one down, 180 more days to go

jana - glad that the headaches are starting to get better. it is amazing how much stress can effect so many aspects of our lives...

missy - congrats on making it thru the BBQ, i am sure that was difficult. i have to decide if i am doing that this weekend. i only really see this side of the family once a year at this picnic and they all know that we were trying, so i am not sure if i am willing to go and answer the constant question... so, any news with that horrible smile... i am impressed that you were able to make it thru and i am sure that you did it with grace!

as for the beta - i know that you can't start BCPs until it is zero and you are suppose to get AF 4 weeks after it hits zero or that is what was explained to me. i hope that you are all doing well.

many blessings and i hope that you were able to laugh today

[jana]

Jamie, glad to hear you survived your first day. Finished that Master's yet?

As for the BCPs, my RE said that I could go ahead and start them and it was up to me if I wanted AF to visit. I opted for her to stay away.......she's evil and vicious.

[historyteach]

Originally Posted by jana

Jamie, glad to hear you survived your first day. Finished that Master's yet?

As for the BCPs, my RE said that I could go ahead and start them and it was up to me if I wanted AF to visit. I opted for her to stay away.......she's evil and vicious.

that is awesome that they are letting you decide if you get AF - i was told to bring her on again next week so to make sure that all my hormones are back in order... i think after all the drugs that i have taken, i am not sure that is ever going to happen

as for the masters - i have take a leave of absence? i never finished the paper and the professor understands, i feel like a loser considering i only have 3 more classes to finish and than my orals but i just can't do it right now, i really want to concentrate on getting my head on straight, making this school year a success and getting pregnant!

how are things going for you? how is the tutoring going?

thinking about you girls and i hope that you had a good start to the week

[chuchu]

I have been thinking about all you dear teachers that started a new year today. Please receive a hug!!! What would it be of all of us without teachers???

If you think people ask questions, you should come with me to Lima, Peru.... OMG!! I think I had forgotten how nosy people can be there. I don't mind telling my life to my friends and family... but neighbors, friends of parents, people I haven't seen for years!!! Please give me a break!!

My parents even mentioned that people also asked them a lot of questions about us: sooooo, they are married for 10 years now?, no kids?, not even one? and so it goes. I told me them to be direct: "They can not have children". I told them that with such a answer is like putting a cork in their mouths. It has worked wonders for me.

So, well, you also have the other kind of people that know all my journey so in those situations, they threw me a life-saver: "well, they will be here at any moment" or a brilliant change of topic.

From my own struggle with social pressure and gossiping, I have learned in the hard way to mind my own business.


Kisses to everyone!

[chuchu]

How is everybody today?

Missing you...

[ekburke]

How is everyone...it has been so quiet!

Hope all is well,

Erin

[jana]

Erin, everything seems to be going good here. We have about two more weeks until we get the results of the karyotyping. I'm a little worried to hear what they are going to tell us, but maybe it will shed some light on our situation.

I hope the lack of posting means that everyone is healing. I'd like to keep up this post just so I can follow everyone in their upcoming cycle.

[historyteach]

ladies, sorry that i have been MIA - let's just say that school has been stressful, i mean to the point that i was on the verge of tears all week. and it a day off and here i am trying to get some work done at school but instead i thought i would check in on you ladies because i miss my girls!!!

anyway, i would love to know your opinion. i went in to the RE's office today to get a copy of medical records, anyway they talked to me again about PGD - well it is goin to cost $5000 - here is my dilema - my first miscarriage they know there was no genetic problems because it was a boy, and the second one came back normal as well, but it was a girl, so there is a chance that it was my tissue that they tested. our karotype came back normal for both of us and they think we should try PGD in october.... we really do not have the money, but in january i can get flex money where i have $3000, so we would only have to come up with $2000, which is more doable. so do i chance it in october because i am not showing any genetic problems or should we go even further in-debt for the chance that we get the best possible embryos.

i would love to know what you are thinking because we all the know the heartache of a loss and i really don't want to go thru that again, but i am not sure if this is our right path either, so any thougths would be appreciated. thanks ladies

[jana]

Jamie, I know it is so hard to shell out all this money for testing or to go in debt for it. With me not working our funds are really tight. I understand how you feel, and this is a hard decision to make. We've decided to do the PGD testing because I have to know. I would rather not put an embryo back if I know it's not normal. I think that would just increase my chances of another miscarriage if it implanted. I also want to know if there is something going on that will keep us from ever getting pregnant, so I can find closure and move on. I wish you the best making this decision. It's a hard one to have to make.

[makenalelu]

Joining the group...I just suffered my first m/c at 5.5 weeks. We had been TTC for 16 months. Conceived the little one naturally which I was thrilled! Betas never rose properly. Highest I got to was 381, so the little one didn't have a chance to begin with. I guess I am grateful it happened so early, and am super stoked that I even got pregnant. It really solidifies the fact that my "unexplained fertility" might really have just been bad timing this whole time. My egg and DH sperm's finally sad hello to each other! I am seeing that as very good news!

[chuchu]

Mekanalelu, welcome!! I hope you are feeling better. Time will help you a lot in the healing process.

Jaime, I can relate to the job stress.... It is also a challenging time for us in the business and there are many things we have to decide and cope with. Try not to take things so intensely; I have been trying to do this and is helping me not to get SO upset.

Regarding the PGD testing.... Why is it always about the money???? Let me ask if you this: If you had enough money, will you do it? What advantages or disadvantages would you have if you choose to do PGD?

These are the kind of questions I ask myself when in doubt. DH and I decided to wait because even if we had the money and were in Lima, we would not do IVF/ICSI right now. We assessed that we were not prepared to handle all the emotional roller coaster of a BFP or a BFN.

These also help me:

Try to question yourself in different moments: when you are Ok and not so much!

Try not to make a decision based on feelings and/or when you are having a bad moment.

Jana, the other day I was reading in some thread someone complaining about WAITING. It seems that the women here we are always WAITING for something: a test, AF, a procedure, etc. When I had the D&C that was a relief thought I had: I don't have to wait for anything now. Well after a month, now I am waiting for AF and two weeks later for the auto-inmune testing.

Yesterday we received a phone call from our family doctor's office: DH has a very small kidney stone. We were so relieved... it was nothing bad (cancer or whatever). DH is right when he says that "nothing bad is going to happen to us because it has already happened" (m/c).

Later at night, watching him asleep I thanked God for DH's health.

Doctor said he has to drink plenty of water and be back in three months for another u/s (kidney, no uterus, lol!!). Do you think this could affect his semen in any way? Just me being curious...

Anyways, I wanted to send you lots of vibes full of peace and tranquility.

Love!

[LisaG620]

Hi ladies! What a crazy week! Like I said I am back to school now. I just finished the first full week with the kids and I am exhausted but in a good way. It feels good to be thinking about something else for awhile. I really love my class, they are wonderfully behaved and full of personality!

One of my best friends at my school just told me that she is pregnant. I really admire her for the way that she did though. She of course knows all of my problems and was really upset when telling me, to the point that she had tears. She said that she just felt so bad telling me because she knows how I feel...then said wait, I don't know how you feel, but can only imagine. She said that she told me first, she is not planning on telling anyone for awhile, but she did not want me finding out from anyone else. There is also another teacher that I am fairly good friends with who is visibly pregnant and hasn't told me yet, in fact she almost avoids me. I know why she acted this way but that hurts me more, someone who I thought was a friend, not telling me she was preggo. Ohhhhhhh....this would be so much easier if I could live in a bubble and not see any pregnant people. Do you guys feel this way, or am I just going crazy?

Did I also mention tha tmy best friend is preggo too. She is 14 weeks and I talk to her everyday. This is her first and we were trying to get preggo together, which makes it harder. Before I had the miscarriage, we were 5 weeks apart.

Sorry again... O feel like everytime I get on here I have a book to write!

historyteach...That is such a hard decision, but I am sure that you will make the right one.

makenalelu...welcome...I am so sorry about your miscarriage, but you have a great attitude. Congrats on getting preggo naturally! I am sure it will happen again soon.

everyone else....hope you are having a great day. What does everyone have planned for Labor Day Weekend? I have a fun filled weekend of cleaning and yardwork ahead of me!!!

[jana]

JamieL, welcome. You seem to really have a great outlook.

Lisa, wow! You are really surrounded by pregnant women. That friend at work seems to be a good one. She really took your feelings and situation into account when telling you. Sign of a true friend.

Claudia, DH and I just had a discussion about how all of this waiting is taking a toll on the both of us. We feel like we are just waiting and waiting for whatever is in store for us. Sucks!!!!