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JamieL - wow it is amazing that you have such a great outlook. i agree, the fact that you got pregnant on your own is amazing. good luck sweetie with your healing process and i pray that you get another little miracle soon!!!
claudia & jana - thanks for the advice on PGD, we have an appointment at the end of Sept with an RE to try to figure out why we are miscarrying, and i think that we will make our decision tghen. but what makes it so hard is that because our first miscarriage there was no genetic problems... so i guess we will wait and see lisaG - that is awesome that your friend was so caring when she told you, but i understand about being surrounded by pregnant women. the one woman i eat lunch with is due two weeks after i would have been...i hope that you find some peace with the situation and we are always here if you need to vent. erin - congrats on making it thru the first week... only 9 more months to go. i am so sorry that you are so stressed, good luck and i hope that the year gets easier ![]()
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![]() Me - RPL DH - Normal Trying - March 2006 3 unmedicated IUIs - BFN Laporoscopy 4/07 - Everything perfect.... 4 IUIs w/ Follistim - BFN 3.08:1st IVF - miscarried 8 weeks, our little angel ![]() 6.08: 2nd IVF - miscarried 7 weeks, another angel to watch over us ![]() testing for recurrent miscarriages, karotyping - again, all is normal!!! WTF? 10.20.08: 3rd IVF w/ PGD ![]() ![]() 10.28 - prog +20 11.5 - beta 225 11.11 - beta 1978 11.13 - beta 5100 11.21 - 1 pefect little peanut!! Maddie (Boxer) & Bear (Rottweiler) ![]() |
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Hello
Hi Girls,
I am having a rough day...do any of you obsess over what ifs...such as what if the next round doesn't work, what if I never have a child. I have come to terms with the loss, but aside from losing a child, I feel like I lost my hope. It comes and goes it waves, and when this hits, it paralyzes me. I figured you were the best people to talk to about this, because we are all in similar situations. I know I got pregnant my first try and that makes me feel great, and my RE is optimistic, but I cannot shake this feeling. I am driving myself crazy! I hope you all had a restful holiday weekend. Much Love, Erin
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Me: 34 No Known Problems DH: 46 Morphology and Motility Issues TTC: 2 years 1 Furbaby: Bogart-12 year old Dalmatian IVF #1 with ICSI 6/3- Start stims 6/16 ER-9 eggs 5 mature 4 fertilized 6/19 ET-2 embryos transferred 1-8 cell grade A 1-7 cell grade A 7/3 1st Beta-140 ![]() 7/7 2nd Beta-790 7/9 3rd Beta-1458 First U/S sceduled for 7/16!!!! We saw the heartbeat! Started to bleed. Diagnosed with a blood clot that took over the uterus. M/C at 7 weeks. D&C needed IVF #2 with ICSI Started Stims 10/14 ER scheduled for 10/28 ET 10/31...Two perfect 8-cell embabies! Beta 11/14- IVF#3 with ICSI Started BCP 11/18 |
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Quote:
oh sweetie, i know exactly how you feel. the fact that i got pregnant, is amazing, i was stressing, do i even have eggs, will i ever get pregnant, etc. and now the idea that i will continue to miscarry breaks my heart. i think that it is normal to have those feelings and it is going to take some time to get thru all the heartache and i agree with you come, here and vent because we do understand. i hope that your monday get better ![]()
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![]() Me - RPL DH - Normal Trying - March 2006 3 unmedicated IUIs - BFN Laporoscopy 4/07 - Everything perfect.... 4 IUIs w/ Follistim - BFN 3.08:1st IVF - miscarried 8 weeks, our little angel ![]() 6.08: 2nd IVF - miscarried 7 weeks, another angel to watch over us ![]() testing for recurrent miscarriages, karotyping - again, all is normal!!! WTF? 10.20.08: 3rd IVF w/ PGD ![]() ![]() 10.28 - prog +20 11.5 - beta 225 11.11 - beta 1978 11.13 - beta 5100 11.21 - 1 pefect little peanut!! Maddie (Boxer) & Bear (Rottweiler) ![]() |
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Erin, don't feel alone. I've have those thoughts all the time. I am constantly asking the question "why." One day I'm fine, and the next I'm wondering will I ever be a mom. It frustrates me to know that IVF is my only option. If it doesn't work, I have no chance of ever getting pregnant.........no tubes. That in itself depresses me daily. I am currently reading a book called The Infertility Cure. It talks about how acupuncture, diet, certain exercise, and herbs can help you correct your bodies issues. It might be good reading for you.....I'm really learning alot from it.
We are all here for you..........and ready to listen anytime you need us.
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![]() me: 33, PCOS,tubes removed DH: 32 healthy Bella 8 month lab PFLZ TTC #1: 2.5 yrs. Chlomid 4 months 5/07 IUI #1 failed 6/07 moved to new state, starting over 07/07-10/07 Chlomid...BFN 4/08 First IVF Cycle.......BFN 6/08 FET......1st BFP ever D&C at 11 wks....baby stopped growing IVF#3 10/08 10/19 Start Stimming 10/29 ER....20 retrieved, 14 PGD, 6 normal, 5 frozen 11/3 ET.....2 transferred 11/11 Beta 8dp5dt............116 11/13 Beta 10dp5dt.........266 Thanks be to God!! 11/17 Beta 14dp5dt........990 11/21 Beta 18dp5dt........4300 12/1 Ultrasound Please visit http://uniquemotif.blogspot.com/ Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31 |
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Yes! I totally relate to what you are thinking and feeling. I agree with Jaime and Jana... We are here to help each other.
Here are some thoughts that help me in those anxiety (ifs) moments: There is a 50% chance of BFP and 50% change of BFN in every IVF cycle. If I don't try again I am going to loose that 50% chance of getting pregnant. Now about m/c, that is chapter #2. I was just cleaning the house and was thinking about the possibility of losing again. For that right now I don't have an answer. I need more data (auto-inmune testing). These thoughts and state of mind are the ones that made me decide to wait some months. Time will help me healing emotionally. Physically, I thought AF was showing up yesterday (a tiny spotting), but NADA. I will call RE tomorrow. I hope you are all having a great Labor Day! Love!
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Claudia Me - 36: everything normal DH - 39: low motility, low morphology TTC for 2.5 years 2007: Tried Clomid for 3 cycles, all BFN 9/11/07: DH diagnosed by RE IUI #1: 1/18: Began Bravelle shots for 9 days 1/28: IUI; 2 follies 2/8: ; u/s found cystsIUI #2: Converted to B2B IUIs 3/18: Baseline U/S. 3/19 -21: 3 Bravelle (225 mg) 3/22-24: 2 Bravelle (150 mg); u/s shows 4 follies (R and L). 3/25: Novarel (10,000 USP) shot 3/26: IUI (still 4 follies there: 20 - 22) 3/27: IUI 4/6: 4/7: u/s found cysts; BCPs (Loestrin). 4/28: u/s showed I am cyst free. 5/3: 5/5: BCPs (Loestrin). 5/31: Bravelle 4*75, Lupron 0.1June 08: IVF/ICSI ER: 6/10 ET: 6/10 (ZIFT 2 embabies), 6/12 (regular 1 2-cell) 6/24: Beta #1 83, 6/26: Beta #2 232, 7/3: Beta #3 1,500;7/7: U/S #1 One sac ; 7/17: U/S shows heartbeat but small sac; 7/24: U/S no heartbeat; 7/25: D&C at 8 weeks 10/02: auto-inumne testing NORMAL. Praying for a miracle! |
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Thanks
Thanks Girls...I really do appreciate your support and guidance.
I hope that each of you are doing well and on the mend. Physically I have never felt better. I should be Oing in the next few days and then 2 weeks until I can start BC! YEAH! I guess I kind of feel removed from trying because I have not been to my RE in 3 weeks. I love going there as it to me is progress! Have a great night!
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Me: 34 No Known Problems DH: 46 Morphology and Motility Issues TTC: 2 years 1 Furbaby: Bogart-12 year old Dalmatian IVF #1 with ICSI 6/3- Start stims 6/16 ER-9 eggs 5 mature 4 fertilized 6/19 ET-2 embryos transferred 1-8 cell grade A 1-7 cell grade A 7/3 1st Beta-140 ![]() 7/7 2nd Beta-790 7/9 3rd Beta-1458 First U/S sceduled for 7/16!!!! We saw the heartbeat! Started to bleed. Diagnosed with a blood clot that took over the uterus. M/C at 7 weeks. D&C needed IVF #2 with ICSI Started Stims 10/14 ER scheduled for 10/28 ET 10/31...Two perfect 8-cell embabies! Beta 11/14- IVF#3 with ICSI Started BCP 11/18 |
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erin - good luck with week two, i hope that it goes great. and i hope that things go well for you emotionally, i know the stress of the job has made some of the things i have been going thru a little bit more difficult. but that is awesome that you are going to be trying again. i think that we will be pretty close with our cycle, my retrieval is tentatively scheduled for oct 22, it seems so far away some days but others it is like dang, i need to order my meds, get my mind in the right place, etc.
anyway, i hope that everyone is having a peaceful day and that your wounds are healing ![]()
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![]() Me - RPL DH - Normal Trying - March 2006 3 unmedicated IUIs - BFN Laporoscopy 4/07 - Everything perfect.... 4 IUIs w/ Follistim - BFN 3.08:1st IVF - miscarried 8 weeks, our little angel ![]() 6.08: 2nd IVF - miscarried 7 weeks, another angel to watch over us ![]() testing for recurrent miscarriages, karotyping - again, all is normal!!! WTF? 10.20.08: 3rd IVF w/ PGD ![]() ![]() 10.28 - prog +20 11.5 - beta 225 11.11 - beta 1978 11.13 - beta 5100 11.21 - 1 pefect little peanut!! Maddie (Boxer) & Bear (Rottweiler) ![]() |
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Jaime, great news!! You have a possible timeline!! Cheers!!
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Claudia Me - 36: everything normal DH - 39: low motility, low morphology TTC for 2.5 years 2007: Tried Clomid for 3 cycles, all BFN 9/11/07: DH diagnosed by RE IUI #1: 1/18: Began Bravelle shots for 9 days 1/28: IUI; 2 follies 2/8: ; u/s found cystsIUI #2: Converted to B2B IUIs 3/18: Baseline U/S. 3/19 -21: 3 Bravelle (225 mg) 3/22-24: 2 Bravelle (150 mg); u/s shows 4 follies (R and L). 3/25: Novarel (10,000 USP) shot 3/26: IUI (still 4 follies there: 20 - 22) 3/27: IUI 4/6: 4/7: u/s found cysts; BCPs (Loestrin). 4/28: u/s showed I am cyst free. 5/3: 5/5: BCPs (Loestrin). 5/31: Bravelle 4*75, Lupron 0.1June 08: IVF/ICSI ER: 6/10 ET: 6/10 (ZIFT 2 embabies), 6/12 (regular 1 2-cell) 6/24: Beta #1 83, 6/26: Beta #2 232, 7/3: Beta #3 1,500;7/7: U/S #1 One sac ; 7/17: U/S shows heartbeat but small sac; 7/24: U/S no heartbeat; 7/25: D&C at 8 weeks 10/02: auto-inumne testing NORMAL. Praying for a miracle! |
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Hi girls. I hope that everyone had a great long weekend!
Erin...I feel like that all time. My biggest worry is that I used up my good luck getting preggo the first time on IVF but then miscarried. I am so worried that next time won't work. Our insurance will only cover one more time and then it's out of pocket ![]() Jamie...I bet you are so excited that you are moving forward. Question- how do you handle IVF while teaching? We decided to do it over the summer obviously because I was off. Now that we need to do it again, there is no way that I am waiting until next summer. I am worried that I will be moody and not feeling myself around the kids. Not to mention, the numerous RE visits. Claudia...Did you get AF yet? Isn't it weird how we spend most of our lives dreading AF coming and now that we are IVF we can't wait for it to come? As for me - I think I started AF today. It is so hard to tell because I have been spotting everyday since the beginning of August. I had cramps today however, and the bleeding was a bit heavier. Last Thursday my beta was 24 so I think I should be down to 0 by now. My nurse said I can expect AF when I hit 0. Because of the shot of methotrxate we are not allowed to try again for 3 months, so it looks like we may be looking at a Nov./ Dec. cycle. I already can't wait...I don't know how I am going to make it so long.
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Lisa - 28 DH - Chris - 33 male factor June/ July 08 - 1st IVF 6/17 - Start Lupron 6/21 - Stop BCP 6/27 - Start Stims 7/9 - ER 4 eggs - 1 fertilized for my little embie!7/12 - ET - 1 perfect grade A, 8 cell embryo 7/22 - 1st Beta - 8 ????? 7/24 - 2nd Beta - 19 7/28 - 3rd Beta - 117 8/3 - Miscarriage 8/14 - u/s confirmed ectopic - shot of Methotrexate |
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AF is NOT here!!! I will call RE's office tomorrow morning. I am just having tiny spotting (almost nothing).
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Claudia Me - 36: everything normal DH - 39: low motility, low morphology TTC for 2.5 years 2007: Tried Clomid for 3 cycles, all BFN 9/11/07: DH diagnosed by RE IUI #1: 1/18: Began Bravelle shots for 9 days 1/28: IUI; 2 follies 2/8: ; u/s found cystsIUI #2: Converted to B2B IUIs 3/18: Baseline U/S. 3/19 -21: 3 Bravelle (225 mg) 3/22-24: 2 Bravelle (150 mg); u/s shows 4 follies (R and L). 3/25: Novarel (10,000 USP) shot 3/26: IUI (still 4 follies there: 20 - 22) 3/27: IUI 4/6: 4/7: u/s found cysts; BCPs (Loestrin). 4/28: u/s showed I am cyst free. 5/3: 5/5: BCPs (Loestrin). 5/31: Bravelle 4*75, Lupron 0.1June 08: IVF/ICSI ER: 6/10 ET: 6/10 (ZIFT 2 embabies), 6/12 (regular 1 2-cell) 6/24: Beta #1 83, 6/26: Beta #2 232, 7/3: Beta #3 1,500;7/7: U/S #1 One sac ; 7/17: U/S shows heartbeat but small sac; 7/24: U/S no heartbeat; 7/25: D&C at 8 weeks 10/02: auto-inumne testing NORMAL. Praying for a miracle! |
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I got an email from my sister today, and I'm not too sure how to take it. She tells me that she loves me first off, and then proceeds to tell me that the last time she talked to me she could sense my sadness and bitterness toward others. She then says that they are all trying to support me the best they can. I really don't feel bitter, just sad. I'm trying to replay the last conversation we had, but I don't remember anything significant from it. Her email really made me upset and feel like I'm not acting appropriately.
Hope you all had a great day!
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![]() me: 33, PCOS,tubes removed DH: 32 healthy Bella 8 month lab PFLZ TTC #1: 2.5 yrs. Chlomid 4 months 5/07 IUI #1 failed 6/07 moved to new state, starting over 07/07-10/07 Chlomid...BFN 4/08 First IVF Cycle.......BFN 6/08 FET......1st BFP ever D&C at 11 wks....baby stopped growing IVF#3 10/08 10/19 Start Stimming 10/29 ER....20 retrieved, 14 PGD, 6 normal, 5 frozen 11/3 ET.....2 transferred 11/11 Beta 8dp5dt............116 11/13 Beta 10dp5dt.........266 Thanks be to God!! 11/17 Beta 14dp5dt........990 11/21 Beta 18dp5dt........4300 12/1 Ultrasound Please visit http://uniquemotif.blogspot.com/ Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31 |
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Jana...I wouldn't worry about it. Nobody knows what we go though unless they have been through it themselves. I have had many people tell me at times throughout this whole process that I don't seem like myself, and sometimes it is true. I am normally very happy and carefree, probably one of the least stressed people that you will ever meet, but I have certainly had my days where that is not true lately! Honestly, I don't think it is anybody's business to say that, but I have learned that there are a lot of ignorant people out there when it comes to IF and I just try to educate them about what I am going through. If you were having a bad day, so be it. We all have them!!
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Lisa - 28 DH - Chris - 33 male factor June/ July 08 - 1st IVF 6/17 - Start Lupron 6/21 - Stop BCP 6/27 - Start Stims 7/9 - ER 4 eggs - 1 fertilized for my little embie!7/12 - ET - 1 perfect grade A, 8 cell embryo 7/22 - 1st Beta - 8 ????? 7/24 - 2nd Beta - 19 7/28 - 3rd Beta - 117 8/3 - Miscarriage 8/14 - u/s confirmed ectopic - shot of Methotrexate |
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Jana,
I agree with Lisa, I bet your sister is just missing "you", what we go through with IVF alone is hard, much less the M/C, I haven't wanted to post, or see anyone. People didn't even know we did FET so we didn't tell them about the M/C as well, so they have no idea why I am so sad and lost. Sorry to come into your group, but just feel like I am living in a big blur ~ When do you start feeling hopeful again?
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Dre
Me: 33 (Issue: Endo)DH: 32 WONDERFUL Adopted DS 2005: 3 years old Four Fur Babies (2 cats, 2 labs)3/5: 1st IVF: 5 day transfer of two blastocyst (1 grade 1, 1 grade 2) *TIME FOR BETA SCARE 3/14: 1st BETA 77 3/16: 2nd BETA 105 3/19: 3rd BETA 155 3/23: 4th BETA 631 4/2: 1st US = 6 weeks 3 days; 1 Heartbeat/w/baby in sac (Oh what a feeling!)6/6: IT'S A GIRL.... ![]() 8/10 ~ Hospitalized for Vasa Previa at 25 weeks (please send prayers we keep her in for 37 weeks) C-SECTION 10/31/07 3 weeks early, 5lbs 3oz HEALTHY~Thank you for your prayers FET 2 Embies on Ice ~ 1 grade 2, 1 grade 3 ET:7/24/08 BETA 7/31: POAS in AM, FAINT + 8/1: 1st Beta = 41 8/4: 2nd BETA =117 8/20: U/S @ 6 weeks 4 days (No HB) 8/25: U/S @ 7 weeks 2 days (No HB) 8/26: D&C Again Thank you for your prayers! Meet our family @: http://dre-sanchezfamily.blogspot.com/ |
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Hello
Welcome Dre...you are always welcome!
I too have been sadder lately and am not sure why. I guess we are getting so far removed from our tragedies that we are beginning to forget the joy when we got our BFP's! Hope you are all healing... Claudia...any signs of AF Jana, I have learned not to read into the tone of an email. Maybe she is feeling that she cannot help you and is wondering what she can do? Just a thought!
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Me: 34 No Known Problems DH: 46 Morphology and Motility Issues TTC: 2 years 1 Furbaby: Bogart-12 year old Dalmatian IVF #1 with ICSI 6/3- Start stims 6/16 ER-9 eggs 5 mature 4 fertilized 6/19 ET-2 embryos transferred 1-8 cell grade A 1-7 cell grade A 7/3 1st Beta-140 ![]() 7/7 2nd Beta-790 7/9 3rd Beta-1458 First U/S sceduled for 7/16!!!! We saw the heartbeat! Started to bleed. Diagnosed with a blood clot that took over the uterus. M/C at 7 weeks. D&C needed IVF #2 with ICSI Started Stims 10/14 ER scheduled for 10/28 ET 10/31...Two perfect 8-cell embabies! Beta 11/14- IVF#3 with ICSI Started BCP 11/18 |
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