[chuchu]

Jana, don't feel guilty or ashamed. I guess I would prefer a chat with my sister and talk openly about the situation. Try to explain to her how you feel, what's on your mind.... I have never felt you bitter (in your posts); on the contrary I felt that you took everything with calm and tried to accept it.


Dre, Welcome!!! I am glad you join us. I started feeling much better like 2 weeks after D&C: I could see a pregnant woman or a baby and not cry. I was able to go back to work and enjoy the simple things of life. But, until now I am still anxious about the future: another cycle and the probabilities of success/failure.

And YES!! AF finally arrived in full force.

[chuchu]

Erin is right about the "tone of the e-mail". That's why I prefer personal communication.

[jana]

Thanks ladies. I emailed her back, and she meant nothing by it other than she is here for me and wishes there was something she could do.

Claudia, congrats on AF!!!

Dre, welcome to the group. I don't know when you start to feel better. I have good days and then the next it turns to crap like today. Who knows!!

[jana]

Good Morning All. I'm praying that today is going to be a better day than yesterday. For some reason I had a tearful day. I couldn't stop crying most of the day, and at some points it was that heavy cry where your whole body shakes. Just a horrible day. So DH and I talked and we think it would be good for me to counsel with someone. While most days are good ones, there are the bad ones. I feel like I need to get my mind set straight. I'm a person that can't stand when someone plays the victim, and here lately I find myself feeling that way.......m/c, losing tubes, etc. I want to be me again!!!

Dre, sorry that you feel so discriminated against. We are all going through IF, but I guess this whole struggle is unique to each one of us.

Teachers, how is it going? I wish I was back in the classroom. I miss it for some reason. I needed a break last year after having 34 students with so many issues, and didn't go back this year because we were expecting. Isn't life funny!!

Claudia, on AF arriving. I hope she isn't too awful!

[futuremom2b]

Jana: I don't feel discriminated against, did I sound that way???? If so sorry, didn't mean that at all!

I guess if I described how I feel ~ it would be that I just want to hide underneath a rock, untill someone can explain to me why this happened, but I know that would be NEVER. We won't know untill we die. So I try and be strong.... I hate playing the "victim" as well, and have also thought about talking to someone, but I'm going to give it another week and see if things get better.
I think it was Claudia that said it took her about 2 weeks to feel a little bit better?
This is really one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through.
I'm gald that you girls can understand. Thanks for listening.
Are most the girls on here teachers?

[futuremom2b]

Originally Posted by chuchu

Dre, Welcome!!! I am glad you join us. I started feeling much better like 2 weeks after D&C: I could see a pregnant woman or a baby and not cry. I was able to go back to work and enjoy the simple things of life. But, until now I am still anxious about the future: another cycle and the probabilities of success/failure.

And YES!! AF finally arrived in full force.

Claudia ~ Congrats on AF! Also, when we went out this past weekend on Monday it did seem like EVERYONE was prego, and it made me so sad, so your comment was perfect. Thanks!

[chuchu]

Thanks for the congratulations on AF arriving!! LOL!!! You are all the best!

Yes, I was very happy to confirm that my body is still working. AF has been heavy but just mildly painful (nothing to really complain about). This may sound silly but sometimes I feel sad for my uterus and all it has been through in the last 3 months.

Jana, in the past (before IF) I had trouble understanding and accepting that life was not going as I had planned it. I suffered a lot and complained: why this?, why doesn't it happen now?, when is it going to be my chance?. Well, when we decided to start TTC, I thought and wished that after all we have been through, this was not going to be another "test" to us. Well, I was wrong (as you all know).

After all these happenings I also confirm that I was not the same person, that I had changed: I was stronger. It was not easy because I had two choices: complain, complain, be sour, be a negative person; or, accept the situations, choose hope, be positive. When I m/c, I was faced again with the choice.

I am glad that Jana and Dre are thinking on talking to someone. I am a clinical psychologist and LOVE therapy. I have had it like 5 times in my life and each time was an amazing experience of self-discovery.

Besides IF, DH are having a hard time planning what is going to happen in the next months: to relocate or not? That is the big question.


Love to all!!

[futuremom2b]

Claudia ~ relocate where? Why ~ job reasons or family? What a great adventure!

Clinical Psychologist ~ hu? What type of clientel do you work with?
I am a social worker with high risk teens and their families.

Do you guys pay out of pocket for your RE? If we decide to move forward, it will be out of pocket AGAIN....... Oh the stress.

[futuremom2b]

Oh and get this ~ I totally get about you feeling sorry for your body...

D&C was on Tuesday of last week, on Thursday I got a cold and am still sick with snots and coughing, and then last night I woke up with TERRIBLE pain in my stomach. We ate at Boston Market last night and I think I got food poisoning. DH got really sad and said he missed me being me, and that it seems like my body is just so sad and weak because of what has happened. I feel like I can't get better even health wise........

[ekburke]

Hey Girls,

I am surviving the 2nd week with my little ones! Man they wear me out. I have 25 5/6 year olds and they are kicking my butt!

Dre, I came down with a cold a few days after my D&C. I think my immune system was worn thin.

Jana, I am so sorry you miss teaching..you can come on a field trip and visit anytime!

I went to see someone for the 4 weeks post m/c and it did help. I think for me, getting my routine back and feeling useful again helped.

Dre, my insurance covered like 95% of my first round and they will do the same for the next. Do they offer shared risk...it is always a option.

Healing wishes to all!

Erin

[jana]

Dre, sorry I addressed that post to the wrong person. We have paid for everything out of pocket. The Shared Risk has been a good investment for us, but it cost about $18000 up front. Ugh!!!

Today was a much better day. Got pampered at the salon and lunch with the ladies. Really lifted my spirits. I'm not sure what was going on yesterday, but glad it passed.

[historyteach]

my goodness ladies, i have missed a lot ..

lisa - as for the appointments, this will be the second school year that i have gone thru with appointments and i try to make them in the morning and just get a sub for part of the day, and the secretary who is in charge of that has been really helpful and i also told my principle what i am going thru and told her point blank that having a family is more important to me than any job, and suprising for out of touch she usually is, she was really helpful. also, you didn't use up all your good luck, i don't think that it works that way, the fact that you got pregnant at all is hopeful that you are going to get pregnant again, and although Nov/Dec is so far away, it is going to show up before you know it. in july i thought October was forever away, and today i got my meds... good luck sweets!!!

Jana - i am glad that things worked out with your sister. i am also planning on talking with someone and i also hate playing the victim and i really don't think that we are, we are just dealing with what was handled to us the best way we can!!! and remember what a strong wonderful woman you are and if need be i will tell you that every day because you truely are amazing!!!

Claudia - congrats on AF - man does that sound weird sounding!!!

Dre - welcome and please knwo that we are here to support you in any way that we can. i gave you a PM - but i think that you are amazing in the fact that you are going thru this whole thing on your own without the support of family and friends, IF is so stressful adn then have a miscarriage over that, i couldn't imagine. you are an amazing lady!!! - as for the cost - everything is out of pocket, we are in shared risk program, but DH figured out that we have already spend $35,000+ this year - gotta love credit cards!

Erin - congrats on making it thru the second week, and that is some amazing insurance coverage, i am so jealous!!! how is the stress level?

well i am starting on my way, i got my box of meds today even though i am not having my retrieval for another month, but i am lloking forward to getting started and i never thought i would be able to say that when i had my second miscarriage in July, i really thought i was just broken but i think i am starting to heal, i just hope that it isn't too soon.

ladies, you are all just amazing and i feel so blessed that i have all of you... THANK YOU

[chuchu]

Congratulations Jaime on getting your meds!!! You are one step closer. It is going to be YOUR cycle!!!

[neocleo]

that sounds great!! I am new to the forum and I just had a miscarriage and I will say I am a mess- so talking about it and asking questions would help- first question- is it normal to be angry - (which I don't know if I ever have been) and feel left out of all of my best friends lives since they all have kids and I don't ??
neocleo

p.s. I don't know if I am even doing this right - so if not let me know thanks

[jana]

Sarah, to our little group. I'm so sorry for the m/c. It is a painful experience. I think we go through all sorts of emotions while recovering. I have certainly felt my share of anger, but it does eventually go away. We are all here for you.

Hope everyone had a nice and relaxing weekend. I sprained my ankle on Thur. evening, so I've been laid up trying to get the swelling to go away. Hope you all are well!!