[Anj70]

I had a m/c about 6 weeks ago... and while Im doing a whole lot better... im still torturing myself trying to figure out what went wrong ! The RE had done a tissue analysis... and found nothing "normal products of conception". This gives me nothing to hold on to.

So I start going through a list of what??? Did I eat wrong ? Did I carry something heavy ? Did i stress out too much ? Am I overweight ? Did I inhale some chemical cleaners? what what what ?

Im a terribly rational person and just desperately need to find a scientific explanation of why this m/c happened. "it just does sometimes" doesnt help comfort me... but perhaps nothing will.

We are going to try again in Dec/Jan in our 2nd IVF... and Im scared to go through the process knowing things can (and have) gone wrong !

Any advice to stop driving myself insane would *really* help !!

to all !!

[futuremom2b]

Anj ~ I know how you feel, I had a ate a sandwich and wonder if it was the meat (you're only to eat cooked meat), and I drank coffee, so I wonder, what if I wouldn't have done that....
BUT ALL OF THESE things I did with my first and she's here now and healthy, so then I tell myself it probably wasn't that.....
It can drive you mad.
The only thing I can suggest is ONLY thinking about the future (sure there will be days or moments of being sad), but what I am trying to do is focus on 2009! Get dates and plans and such....
We have a 2009 IVF FORUM...

GO TO:
INFERTILITY TREATMENT
IVF
2009 IVF

It might help to have a support system that is moving forward?

Other things that helped me were to read infertility books of people who went through what I have.
Waiting for Daisy
Silent Grief

Will you be busy for the holidays, that could help or make it worse.
HUGS....

[makenalelu]

I had an ectopic back in September, so it was 10 weeks ago. I learned very early on not to dwell on the "what ifs"...it will drive you crazy. It you read and talk to your doc, it is very clear that there is really nothing you can do to cause something like that to happen. Majority of the time, it was a chromosome issue and it would have happened no matter what.

I look at it this way...how many women (who this drives me crazy) may drink, smoke, do drugs, whatever and they have normal babies? Just something to think about...we were all very careful because we all want this sooo bad, so we did nothing to cause this. Just fate.