[grace4me]

I was so excited after dealing with infertility for the past 4 years with my husband, we finally got the big positive after IUI. I was shocked. I tried so hard not to get too excited. My betas kept going up and had all the symptoms of pregnancy. The day before our first scheduled ultrasound I had a gush of blood while in the bathroom (6wks 5d) A tiny little dime sized clot too. We went to the ER immediately and they did an ultrasound. We both cried as we were looking right at our little baby with a great heart beat and fetal pole. They sent me home with a kind of "we dont know but whatever happens happens" attitude. I went to my RE the next day and he saw nothing on the screen. No more baby, no heart beat, no sac. We went back again 2 days later (today) and he checked again, nothing. How can this be.......I SAW it one day earlier. I am so very depressed, I mean just roller coaster emotions of overwhelming sadness. My sisters all had babies without problems. It has never been easy for me but I thought this was my chance for the Christmas baby. I go in tomorrow for the D&E. I just keep thinking, what if he's wrong. What if its really alive still and he just can't see it. My husband says no, and I guess I know that but this is so scary. My body feels pregnant but I'm not. Oh gosh, I know there are many who have dealt with worse. I'm just so sad.

[Starflower]

I am so sorry to hear this news, I know how painful it is, and how it can be such an emotional roller coaster of having hope and then having it taken away...especially after trying for so long.

Please let us know how you are doing, we are here to support you.

big hugs !!

[chantalTTC]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It is so hard to go through what you are experiencing. I hope you find peace soon and that you have a supportive dh. One thing...I really had a hard time with the D&C, so much so that I delayed and delayed and then finally on the morning of, I had such a visceral reaction emotionally that I told the doctor I couldn't go through with it. Thankfully he accepted it and we went home. I waited to miscarry on my own. I felt like I'd gone through so much unnatural stuff to get pregnant, I really just wanted my body to go through the process naturally. And it did soon after. I felt much more comfortable doing it that way. There was no 'what if'. I'm unsure at 6w5d (that's about where I was, too) if there'd be enough fetal tissue to do any chromosomal testing to give you any answers. Sorry if I'm giving you too much info or if this adds more to your plate. I just wanted you to know that you have a choice how to handle this. I felt very pressured into doing the D&C but I'm glad I did it naturally instead.

Best wishes to you.

[ara79]

i just want you to know that i am so sorry you are going through this. it's so awful and my heart hurts for you. so sorry for your loss.

[prayin4baby]

I'm so sorry for you. Unfortunately, I know how you are feeling. We went in today for a 2nd u/s expecting to hear a strong heartbeat but our baby was gone. His heart just stopped beating. I am going for a D&C tomorrow and my RE recommended sending it to a lab for testing.

I too was hoping for a Christmas baby and a Mother-to-be Day this weekend...My heart is heavy...

[LGB]

Grace, I am so so sorry for you...I know exactly how you feel, I just m/c naturally on Tuesday night after my 3rd IVF cycle-this was my first pregnancy and we've been TTC for 2 years.

I'd suggest testing the tissue, and do what you are comfortable with-either D & C or natural. Mine came 6 days after I stopped the meds.

I don't understand how the ER saw the baby and your RE didn't...maybe the ER didn't know exactly what to look for or ....

Take time to yourself to work through this. Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start, and you just gotta put one foot in front of you and keep on walking toward your dream of being a mom!

[Smee]

I am very sorry. Hope you get a miracle soon.

[Genevieve]

grace & prayin- I'm so sorry for you . I'm going through the same thing right now, and it's so hard. I'm tying to stay positive, but most of the time it's exhausting and I just cry. I had no idea it would hurt this bad. It helps me to know I'm not alone, although at first I felt that way. I'm praying for all of us. There ARE babies in our future! Hang in there...

[grace4me]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I hurt for all of you going through the same thing. My surgery went well yesterday but it was quite emotional. Overall I am glad I went that route. Today I am crampy and so nauseated. I feel miserable. I know God has a plan for me but it is so hard right now. I want my baby back.

[Hearts]

Hello
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling, as I also was hoping for a Christmas baby. I have just lost twins. I miscarried naturally on Tuesday - the second baby who was nearly 8 weeks. I lost the first at 7 weeks. I'm still bleeding quite a lot and I feel very blue. It feels a bit like a surreal nightmare.....
I hope that you find the strength to get through it.

[grace4me]

Hearts, I am so so sorry. I read your post this morning and cried for you. I am still so very sad, but not devastated. I have to be strong and I have to trust in the God who made my baby in the first place. Bless your heart, you are probably having a rough time right now. I just don't understand why this happens. I was so sure after having infertility issues for 4 years that this was going to be my chance. I was in shock when I miscarried. I am a pediatric nurse and my job consists of answering calls from parents. It is SO HARD to listen to probably 85% of these calls. There is nothing out there that says if you are going to be a good parent, God will give you a baby. And if you are a complete idiot who leaves curling irons on the ground for your 8 month old to wrap her little hand around, you will probably have a few babies without problem. I had to take a week off of work because I couldn't deal with the randomness of it all.
My husband is taking me to a spa this weekend for a few days of relaxation. My family is getting together with their kids and new babies at my dads for a fun filled Memorial day. I don't want to be around that at all. They say it will be good for me to be there.... no thanks, they just don't understand.
I pray you will find strength during this time, Hearts. I am here if you need to chat although by the look of my response Im probably not very encouraging yet