[wannabmom1979]

I lost my son at 18 weeks due to incompetent cervix on June 10th and since then I am going through the grieving process and some days are harder than others but the past week or so I have been having severe anxiety and the thought of leaving the house or people coming over is almost unbearable.It is the 4th of July and while I should be out celebrating i am sitting home.Also the past 3 or 4 days I have become really angry at my DH for the simple fact he is able to go and do his everyday things and go out without it affecting him like nothing ever happened.I am not sure if this is all coming from my hormones still being wacky or if I should go on anti depressant meds.Just wondering if anyone else feels or felt this way.Thanks

[bunniswife]

Sweetie, you're grieving. It's going to take time, trust me I know. My son died at six days old just about eight months ago and I'm still not okay most days. Men are different. They are able to file grief away until an appropriate time for themselves to take it down and deal with it. I had a very hard time dealing with my hubby after Calvin died. It seemed to me like he didn't care because he could get on with his life. Alot of that is for show, trust me. Men don't feel comfortable expressing their emotions, especially grief because they don't like to cry. I'm betting he is just as hurting as you are and it will take a good while before you two are able to come to the acceptance of where the other is in regards to your grief. He may expect you to stop crying all the time and pick up your life where you left off, you may think he's not crying enough. Eventually, you'll come together on it again, but grief is a road that we must each walk alone. Give him space and permission to grieve his own way and ask him to do the same for you. You can love each other through this and become stronger for what you have survived or you can let it tear you apart. I chose love. I'm so sorry you're dealing with the loss of your son, it's a pain no parent should ever have to know. If you need some support in your journey, this website is dedicated to supporting bereaved parents in their loss...Hugs

glow in the woods - home

[wannabmom1979]

I am so sorry for the loss of your son also.And I too choose love but I also have a lot of fear this whole process will tear us apart eventually not b/c we lost our son but b/c I am not sure if I can ever get pregnant again.I know I did get pregnant once with IUI but nobody can guarantee it will happen again and I know I will not be ok not having kids.Also I fear that if we havent had a baby in the next few years he will start to resent me b/c he is perfectly healthy and could have chose someone else who he could have had kids with.I know he loves me but I have seen what has happened to couples who cant have babies and I pray it doesnt happen to us.Well thanks for listening.

[Godiva4me]

I am so sorry for you loss! No words can make it better, but time will lessen the pain. You are still young, and though you want to be pregnant sooner than later, you do have time on your side.

Everyone grieves differently. I went to a 4th party last night only to have 3 babies there too, all under 5 months old. It was difficult for me, but then it also gave me a glimmer of hope that one day it will be my turn.

Hang in there, and know that you will have good days and bad... It's been 5 weeks since my loss, and there are days I want to be detached from the world, and other days I feel like I am getting back to normal. I am sure hormones fluctuating, don't help you feel any better. Please don't hesitate to contact your RE or OB/GYN if you feel you may need an anti-depressant.... that is what they are there for!

May each day get easier for you!

[jkish34]

I was about 14 weeks when i found out i had a molar preg. I agree with many on this board that it just takes time. I realize that its a hard, but time will pass and it will get easier. You will never forget but at least you will be able to move on. Everything happenss for a reason.