[pargac143]

I did IVF and miscarried at 6 weeks on May 30th. One of my close friends found out she was pg 2 weeks before I did. I am happy for her, it's just hard to hear about her pregnany. I haven't really talked to her this past month and when I emailed her she said she was almost 4 months along and starting to show. She also finds out in August the sex of the baby. It's just hard b/c I should be at that point in my pregnany also. It was like a brick wall hit me and I am at work sitting at my desk trying not to cry. I really thought I was doing well. My DH and I have put off TTC for now. I just don't know if I can go through that again. This is our 2nd miscarriage. I do have a 5 year old that was conceived naturally. After this mc my RE had every test ran imaginable and said nothing is wrong with me. Anyone out there that is completely healthy and still can't conceive? My OBGYN said I had PCOS but my RE shot that down. All my levels where in the normal ranges. And my husband had a low morphology score but the doctor said it wasn't low enough to be concerned. Frustrating

[dylansmommy]

i am so sorry ..i went thru my own version of this only i was not quite 5 weeks and i thought i was handling it well and then poof i had a meltdown at work..it takes time to heal and every person is different...i still cry sometimes if i see a baby or even a preggo person..i hope you heal ...good luck
naomi

[HopefulinCO]

I'm so sorry and I completely understand how frustrating it is when it seems like others are getting pregnant so easily. As I was going through my struggles I had a great friend who got pregnant first try even though she's older than I am and probably 75 pounds overweight (and had gotten pregnant first try twice before). It was really tough for me to be excited for her. And during most of the last 10 years I've seen coworkers get pregnant by the dozen. I had this feeling that every pregnancy somehow lowered my chances of having a baby. It was really an effort for me to remember that the powers that be didn't choose someone else just to deny me and that my time would come when it was my time.

As you can see, DH and I didn't have any issues to explain our fertility, yet it took IVF in order for us to conceive. I've heard LOTS of stories though of people trying and trying and it suddenly just happens. I wish you all the luck in the world!

[pargac143]

thank you for your kind words and understanding.

[anirtak]

This is so hard, so it is understandable that you still hurt. To be honest with you, it may never go away. I had two m/c before having my daughter. One of the previous pregnancy, a friend/co-worker also found out she was pregnant. She had tried for 5 years. We were so happy that we both got our at the same time. Needless to say, I m/c. Although I was happy for her...it was hard to see her go through her pregnancy. Her daughter is 26 months old. Even though I have my sweet Madison, I still get upset about the babies that I lost and keep track of how old they would be. But I know that they are heaven watching down on me.

After being diagnosed with hypothyroidism (which was the cause of my both my m/c). It still took us a year to get pregnant. I will keep you in my prayers!

[Meg03]

A loss is hard enough on its own but when you have reminders all over it can make it even harder. I found out last week that preg #4 ended in mc #4. Dh and I are crushed. My little sister is 4 weeks ahead of where I SHOULD be. I can't even talk to her yet. I am sorry you have to go through this too. I hope you find your way out.

[tomekwa]

I'm so sorry for your loss. We just found out last week of our loss and it's been devastating.
I totally understand where you're coming from. The day before we found out our baby was gone, a friend of mine anounced that she had just found out that she was pregnant. She already has 3 kids and she wasn't even trying to get pregnant.
Another friend of mine had a baby a couple of months ago and she too didn't even want the baby, now her sister is pregnant and she's due a week after we were due.
All of this is really hard. I'm not sure I'll ever be over it. For me it's already been over a week (which isn't a lot) but it feels like I just found out yesterday.
I still have moments of deep sadness where I cry contantly and moments where I'm angry that my baby was taken from me.
I hear from other people that the pain will dessipate eventually, but it just seems so impossible to believe that. All I want is my baby back.......why does life have to be so hard?

Sorry for not being so possitive. As u can tell this is a very fresh wound for me.

Hang in there, I'll that things will get better and easier for all of us.

[bunniswife]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I have been there too. I lost two pregancies with my first husband and four with my current husband, not to mention having our son die in November. I don't think the pain ever goes away but, it wasn't all consuming anymore once my first daughter was born and I had a child to love and hold. I think part of my grief was the fear that I would never be a mother, that it would never happen for me. Once DD was born, I could let go of the fear and the pain did soften. I do think of my babies but not all the time like I used to, except for Calvin, who I think of everyday. I know how hard it can be to deal with someone else's pregnancy while you're dealing with your own pain and fears and feelings of inadequacy, my sister in law got pregnant after DH and I's second loss and it was like a slap in the face. Then the family was mad at us for not being happy for her, they just couldn't understand our pain. Maybe you could do what I did and create something to honor your lost babies, maybe make a special garden with their names painted on some pretty rocks, plant some trees or memorialize them on a website. Sometimes working through the grief and recognizing it as a significant loss can help you heal. Many hugs...

[jen0608]

I hope you are now fine and ok. That is really sad.

[pargac143]

thank you for your messages. I really like the idea of honoring them in someway..i never thought of that. Today is a good day. I see a lot of you on here have gone through the same pain if not more. It's nice to have people to relate to.

[prayin4baby]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how heart wrenching it is to lose your baby when you've tried for so long. I also m/c in May at at around 7 weeks. My SIL announced that she is pregnant the day of my D&C. She is only 1 week behind me and will find out next month the gender of the baby. Mine was a baby girl....

It's been very difficult to hear about her pregnancy and how easy it has been...no ms...no weight gain...blah blah blah! I try to be happy for her but I can't help but feel like she took my baby! I know that sounds crazy!

[kjonic]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I m/c three weeks ago at almost 17 weeks. One of my co workers got pregnant just a few weeks after me and i have to be with her all day. The hard part is that today was only my third day back to work. on monday (my first day back) no one wanted to even talk to me. I cried the whole way home and got stuck in traffic right by the hospital where i m/c. then on tuesday it was better, but my preg co worker came in the office and (being best buds with my supervisor) started talking about the pain she was having and how she couldn't eat still and when her u/s is. It was very hard for me to sit in my office and listen to her. Today was bettr and i guess every day will get better.

I pray for you all

Kara

RIP my angel 7-24-09

[ntvinh986]

Originally Posted by pargac143

I did IVF and miscarried at 6 weeks on May 30th. One of my close friends found out she was pg 2 weeks before I did. I am happy for her, it's just hard to hear about her pregnany. I haven't really talked to her this past month and when I emailed her she said she was almost 4 months along and starting to show. She also finds out in August the sex of the baby. It's just hard b/c I should be at that point in my pregnany also. It was like a brick wall hit me and I am at work sitting at my desk trying not to cry. I really thought I was doing well. My DH and I have put off TTC for now. I just don't know if I can go through that again. This is our 2nd miscarriage. I do have a 5 year old that was conceived naturally. After this mc my RE had every test ran imaginable and said nothing is wrong with me. Anyone out there that is completely healthy and still can't conceive? My OBGYN said I had PCOS but my RE shot that down. All my levels where in the normal ranges. And my husband had a low morphology score but the doctor said it wasn't low enough to be concerned. Frustrating

Hi guys, Im a newbie. Nice to join this forum.