[dreamofbaby]

Hello Everyone,

I am very angry and I just wanted to vent. I am angry with myself for not knowing better and making better choices and also at the lack of sensitivity and support I feel I recieved from the medical staff/facility I chose. I read post here all the time and I know how supportive and understanding everyone here is. Sorry that my story is so long.

In April I found out I was pregnant. Soon after I started bleeding. I visited the nearest emergency hospital where I was told it was normal and that sometimes it happens. The bleeding would stop and a couple of days later it would begin again. Finally in one of my many visits I was told I was having/had a miscarriage. The doctor said my HCG numbers were too high and that they should see something. She told me to go home and call my doctor to schedule a D & C. Two weeks I went for my scheduled D & C and much to my surprise I was told that I didn't miscarry and I was having twins. According to them the mistake was done becuz my GA age and LMP did not match; therefore the hospital thought I was farther along then I was. (Clinic is a branch of hospital where I went; the doctors rotate, etc. and all my information is in a central computer) Bleeding continued and I was never told why or given any explanations. Every time I went to hospital I was diagnosed with "threatened miscarriage" and sent home with the notion that I would fully miscarry soon. Time went by and nothing happened. The bleeding stopped at around 11 weeks. Finally after days of trying I got an appointment with a doctor that I thought would be my one and only and would give me some answers. She saw me that day and she had no idea about my situation (remember all the doctors are affiliated with same hospital and my records are in a main computer for all to access). I had to explain about the bleeding and finally she told me that it was probably the sex, but nothing else. Since the bleeding had stopped I didn't even ask any more questions. Now I see I should have. The doctor told me since I was having Mono- twins (sharing a placenta) that I needed to see a high risk doctor. Two weeks later I was at my appointment. Yet again this doctor had no idea of my situation or who referred me. (Still in the same association of doctors) I had to explain all over again my situation. She is the head doctor of labor in delivery in Einstein hospital so I felt good about seeing her. The Dr. told me that I would get an ultrasound every 2 weeks. Everything went well for the next couple of weeks but when I was 16 weeks I was told my cervix was open by technician. Some other doctor came to office and told me they needed to do cerclage in order to close the cervix. He told me that I would lose the babies if I didn't get it done. No further explanation was given. I went straight to hospital were I stood for 2 days. The only thing I was told was that I needed the cerclage in order to keep them in and that with out it I would have a miscarriage soon. When the cerclage was done they did an ultrasound (outside) and told it went well and to go home and bed rest for at least a month. I was not given any medication, except the one to relax uterus for 2 days. In a week I saw the head doctor again and much to my surprise she didn't even know I had the cerclage done!!! (she was the one who told the male doctor that I needed to get it done two weeks ago) She looked at my belly and heard the heart beats and told me everything was fine. I asked her if she was going to send me for ultrasound and she said "no" everything seems fine. So I went home and a week later I was scheduled for ultrasound. At 19 weeks, during the ultrasound I was informed that the cerclage was unsuccessful and that the bag was bulging through cerclage. According to yet another different doctor, there was nothing they could do now becuz the bag was/is too out; close to vagina. She told me to go home and pray for best. I am now on bed rest but last night I decided to visit another hospital. In this hospital I was told that my bag was not bulging out so much but they could not do a second/repair cerclage becuz of risk of infection/rupture. So now I sit at home hoping to get to 24 weeks. The dr. at the recent hospital told me I have an option to "terminate" or wait it out. She asked me how open was my cervix? If I was funneling? etc., etc and I couldn't even tell her. I feel like I am so uninformed and I have just been letting them drag me through situations without asking myself/them why or how? All the information I know is becuz I looked it up on line or asked other pregnant woman. At this point there is nothing any other dr. could do for me...I feel like I was not given all the info and all the tools to help me keep these babies (medication for cervix - shots).

I have a difficult decision to make - do I try to save these babies by staying on bedrest and taking a leave from work or do I just terminate? The risk of getting a possible infection is scary to me and the idea of giving birth to only lose my babies is devestating. I don't know what to do...

[nikki'smommy]

I'm sooo sorry that you are going through this difficult Senario. I would recommend you getting referal to go see another OB, But please be sure to check his/her credentials!...A cerclage and bedrest would be best for you to carry your babies to term.Your current Dr is putting you and your babies life at risk!....You're in my thoughts and prayers. sending loads of Please keep us posted!!!

[mia23]

Babycenter has a group of ladies who all deal with cervix disorders. You could probably get a lot of good info and advice from them. Best of luck. I am so sorry for your situation. I did read a blog recently of a woman who was carrying fraternal twins and at 16 weeks the girl twins water broke but amazingly even with ruptured membranes she carried them to 28 weeks and they are now doing very well. So there is some hope.

[maesmommy]

hi. i am so very very sorry that you find yourself in this situation. i thought maybe you might want to contact "sidelines support network" - you can look up their info in google. they are a support organization for women on bedrest. they could be a good support for you, put you in touch with other women in your situation, and perhaps advise on how to locate a doctor and get a 2nd opinion while on bedrest.

it does sound like you have received very insensitive care. i had a similar (though not exact) situation and it is very very frustrating how cold the doctors can be and how uncoordinated our care is. i empathize and i'm so sorry.

i hope this won't be too hard to hear - i delivered my baby due to preterm labor at 19w and 6 days. it was like a real birth, not like a miscarriage, even though she died immediately. i think if i had delivered her at 21 or 23, 24 weeks it would have been just as sad and painful as at ~20 weeks. looking back i wish for just a little more time with her. but that is just my experience.

i would encourage you to find a new care provider. you want someone who will give you sensitive care at this time and help you as much as possible. and also someone who will be sensitive to your needs should the worst happen. most but not all hospital staff are trained to support you in the case of a loss - to let you hold and spend time with your babies no matter what. i would say that you want to be in a place that is going to give your babies a fighting chance and also help you honor and love and grieve them properly even you do not get the outcome you want.

you will be in my prayers.

[chuchu]

You and your twins are in my prayers!!

[bunniswife]

Oh God, your story brought tears to my eyes. It's so unfair some of the things we go through while trying to have our much wanted children. I'm surprised that you were not put on hospital bedrest at this point. I don't know what the procedure is for incompetent cervix but I thought that if your sac was bulging into the vagina, that they usually try to stand you on your head to see if goes back in...not literally, but on a special table. I don't see why you couldn't also be put on IV antibiotics at home as a preventative measure. To be honest, I don't think you are getting adequate care. You need a doctor willing to fight for you and your babies, to take every measure needed to try and keep them in as long as possible. I know how hard it is to anticipate the possibility that your child(ren) may not live, my son died at six days old following heart surgery. I had dreaded the thought for the remaining seventeen weeks of my pregnancy after learning of his condition at my level two ultrasound. Although at this point it is premature to suggest that all hope is lost, it is something to consider should you decide to not terminate and something happens anyways. I did not know that I could have bathed my son, had him in my room overnight, didn't know I could undress him to look at all his little parts and I didn't take enough pictures. You need some guidance, why the hospital did not let you talk to their social worker is beyond me. Of course you don't know what to expect when your care is being juggled around the way it is and nobody is explaining the what ifs to you. In my opinion, based on what I went through...I was given the option to terminate my pregnancy when Calvin's heart defect was discovered and I did not. Although I knew his problem was complex, I had to give him every possible chance I could at life. After trying so hard to have our family, I would not voluntarily end his life at risk to his twin sister who was healthy. It broke my heart in two when he died, but I am so grateful for my six days with him that if given the option to do it over again knowing the outcome, I would not change a thing. There is hope until you either go into preterm labour or your membranes rupture. I will pray for you to come to a decision that you are at peace with and will continue to pray for your babies...Hugging you.

[kristyn78]

Hi Cheryl

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Did you visit the monoamniotic website?. I was pregnant with momo twins in January and they helped a lot! I attached the website below for you!

Monoamniotic Monochorionic Support Group

Kristy

[Mom2MandyandTristan]

I am so sorry about you situtation and the care you recieved. It appears as though those drs can't be bother to communicate about a high risk patient. You deserve to find a dr that has better bed side manners and who can communicate and make you feel cared for.

My story isn't identical but I can understand. I have an IC that went undiagnosised for a few years leading to many m/c's...one at 17 weeks even. My old OB never had his own u/s machine so never checked for cervical length or opening. When I was pg with Tristan I was dx with a threatened m/c too and told to go home and pretty much wait. I didn't do that!! I found another OB with more dr's in the practice and their own equipment. Right away because of my history I was sent to a MFM where he saw at 15 weeks I had very little cervix left and had me admitted to the hospital for an emergency cerclage. That wasn't the end of the drama, I had preterm labor at 22 weeks and got a terbutaline pump which helped me hold on to T until 37 weeks. I was on bedrest from 15 weeks until I delivered and I believe that helped a lot too.

I am still using both the OB practice and MFM now with this pregnancy and I am so glad we switched. We would have lost Tristan is I stayed with the old OB. I do have to repeat certain things to each one but not something as important as my cerclage, that is ridiculous!!!
Can you switch OB's now and maybe another hospital? For me, I would wait it out, you just never know.

[heart4babies]

With God all things are possible. Find another opinion. It could be the difference between life and death of your babies. Keep pressing on, even if bedrest is the only option it will be worth it.