[qweska8402]

In just a few days, I will be at the EDD of my first pregnancy. It's so heartbreaking to think that I could have a baby by now. I've gotten pregnant since then and M/C again. With all of the testing I've had done, I've been diagnosed with MTHFR. The good news is we may have figured out why I've been m/c. But anyway, does the hurt ever go away? Or will I feel this way forever? Will I always think about the little babies that never came to be? It's going to be a tough week and I just hope it gets better.

[girl99]

I'm so sorry for you loss, no one should have to go through losing a little one.

From my experience it never goes away, but it does get better. For me, reaching the EDD was the real start of when I started to move on from thinking about it every second of every day. I don't think it was a co-incidence either that the next month after the EDD was the month I got pregnant again - I think my body wouldn't let me get pregnant until I'd begun to deal with my loss.

I still have sad days thinking about the little one I lost, but it's turned from absolute grief to a bitter sweet memory.

I think it's the same process as losing a loved one, you never forget them or stop getting sad at times, but it gets easier.

Hang in there, I promise it won't always be this difficult.

[maggiemay]

I think girl99 is right about it being a bit like a person dying... you grieve but with time you think about it a little bit less.

But, without any children of your own yet, I think it does continue to be a reminder. That's how I feel. I have yet have a full pregnancy and so I am reminded quite a bit during the day.

I have had 3 losses and 3 EDD's. I've gotten attached to each EDD in some way... so that's always hard. It will get easier and for me, continuing to try keeps me busy and focused.

Hang in there 8402. It sounds like you are working with a doctor to help put you on the right track. And sometimes I just wonder if we just have to keep trying...