[wundatigga]

On April 26th we found out at a dating scan that we were expecting identical twins.. well what a shock.. we hadn't planned to get pregnant but we were happy none the less, but to be told that we are expecting twins was mind blowing.... Our boys were monochronic monoamniotic twins which means that they were sharing the placenta and amniotic sac which made our pregnancy high risk, do to chance of cord entanglement and also Twin to Twin Tranfusion Syndrome, but that didn't phase us at all as TTTS could be fixed by laser surgery and entanglement was less likely the further along the pregnancy progressed.

On June 7, at a scan we found that one of the twins "Jacob" was quite poorly.. he was much smaller than his brother "Ethan" and he had a few structures on his body that the hospital wasn't quiet sure about, so we were sent to Belfast Royal hospital to have it all checked out. So 2 days later we were at Belfast Royal and were told after much examination that he had Spina bifida, and also what looked like an exposed bowel/bladder- which turned out to be a "bubble" in his cord.... this then making the risk of loss even higher but we didn't care, they were still our boys and despite the problems everything was progressing well. We were asked to go home and think about what we wanted to regarding the pregnancy (but in our minds abortion was out of the question). More appointments were made for 2 weeks later, at both Antrim and Belfast for more intense scanning - but it wasn't to be.

At our appointment at Antrim on 21st June it was found that our boys had passed on. It was awfully destressing especially as I was no my own for this scan (other than our 14months old son) due to dh's work commitments, but the staff at Antrim Area Hospital were fantastic and very supportive and had been all throught our pregnancy.

On 22nd June I went back to the hospital to be induced. I got there at about 9.45am and was given my first dose of induction tablets at 10.15am.. and then we waited.. and waited.. and really nothing much happened. I had a second dose at 2.45pm and still nothing until about 5.45pm, when I started to get bad "period" pains so I ask for some pain relief.. they brought me both codine and some more induction tablets.. I just managed to have my induction tablets when the boys arrived.. Ethan at 5.50pm and Jacob at 5.52pm. We could't believe how quickly they came and fortunatly it was all relitively pain free.

The nurses took them away for a while to give us chance to compose ourselves and they put them and a sweet little basket. When we were ready they brought them through to us and we asked that we see the chaplain. The boys were blessed at 7pm and we spend a lot of time with them.. just the three of us. Fortunatly I didn't need to go to theatre and I just stayed in overnight and was home for dinner time the following day.
The last few weeks have been very hard, especially with close firends and family all giving birth to healthy little boys... but I am not jealous, it is just knowing that on November 24th I should of been doing tha same! It is the boys funeral on Wednesday and I know that will be hard but I need to say goodbye and hopefully I can move on, as at the moment I just feel numb and empty.

Thank you for listening to our story.

[Soki]

I am so sorry for your loss

I hope you are able to spend some good time with just your family to help you grieve.

[sezangel]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful boys!! I know you must be going through so much now!!

I hope that you have lots of support and remember that its ok to greive, there is no timeframe when it comes to things like this!!

If you ever need to talk to someone feel free to send me a pm.... I too know how it feels to lose a child as my son was stilborn at 37 wks!!!

[slobin]

I am so sorry for your loss! I have also had 2 early miscarriages and I know how painful it is.

I wanted to point you to a forum that is especially for pregnancy/child loss in case you are interested. It is
www.forums.delphiforums.com/mommiesofangels

Slobin