[brcannady]

I got a new job today! It was great, the interview process has never been so easy for me. So, I went to go do a drug test at the hospital. Everything is fine and dandy. And as I was walking out the door I passed a woman who was leaving with her baby.

I cried all the way home.

Some days I'm doing so good. Today seemed to be one of those days. It's amazing that such a little thing can bring the world crashing around you again.

What would my life be like now if I had gotten to take her home?

[ara79]

brittanie~

i'm so sorry hun. i wish we could all give you a big hug. you are in my prayers. keep coming here to get your feelings out and get some support.
love,
amy

[30somethingmom]

You will always wonder that. I think the hurt never fully goes away, we just move on with our lives because we have to. With time, it will get a little easier. But you will never forget, and she will be in your heart always.

I hope that your new job will help you to put the pieces of your life back together.

Sending you big hugs,

[eilla05]

This is something that will happen way more than you think or want it to.

Up until about 1 month ago I could not and would not even walk past the baby section in any store, nor could I look at baby or a pregnanct women without crying. Even baby commerials on tv made me ball. All I could think was would that be me right now. Would my baby be smiling or laughing like that. I still do this quite often. Wondering what could have been. You will do this to.

Just go with what ever you feel. If you seem to be happy that day go with it. If you seem to be sad just go with it. dont fight your emotions. Just let them be and I promise you even though it does not look that way right now It DOES GET EASIER. I never thought I would type that to anyone but it does.

Reading your story takes me back to the day I lost my soon in a instant. Oh how I feel so bad for the pain that you feel and the club you are now a part of that NO ONE wants to be in.

As I said in another post if you want someone to talk to please let me know. I will be glad to give you my email/telephone number or call you.

I have to say it is great that you have taken this step so soon. I didnt make it until a few months ago(joining a board).

BTW: Do yourself a favor and dont get so consumed by your new job that you dont give in to your grief and work through it. I did that and believe me it will catch up to you.

Allie

[brcannady]

Allie: Thanks for the advice. As for my job, it was a move that needed to happen. I tried going back to work where I worked before, but there were too many people coming in who knew I had been pregnant and knew that I had been gone for a month. I couldn't stay at a place where 4-5 people a shift walked in and said "Hey, you're back! How's your baby?"

I won't get too consumed by it. I never do. But it'll give me a way to get out of my apartment more often (and make more money doing it too!), to interact with people who don't know that I've ever been pregnant and therefore don't expect me to have a baby.

I have a good support system though. My friends and my family have all been really great and I think that has helped me.