[eilla05]

I am new here so I wanted to give a brief story.

I lost my son Zachariah @ 23weeks in 9-5-05. Everything went great up until I went into labour. I had an ultrasound 6 days prior and they said everything looked fantastic and he weighed a little more than he should have even.

Then I woke up on Labor day with slight cramps so I went to the ER and they hooked me up to the moniters and his heartbeat was fine and it didnt show that I was having contractions. I kept telling them that I was because at that point it was every few minutes. The doc did an exam and my bag of water was funnelling. I had him and he lived for 1 hour and 20 minutes.

They still can not tell me why this happend. There is talk that I have an incompent cervix but they are not sure.

Anyways we have decided we are going to start trying again as of a few weeks ago.

I am sorry for everyones loss.

Allie

[catt13]

Allie,

I am so sorry about your loss. It is never easy but you are in the right place for comfort and even more important understanding. These forums are very helpful. Everyone is going through the same thing so you know that it is a soft place to land.

I wish you all of the best

[brcannady]

I've replied to a couple of your posts in my threads, so I decided I would reply in yours

Congratulations on having the courage to try again. I keep saying that I'm ready to be pregnant again, but deep down, I don't think I ever will be until I AM pregnant again. I'm taking comfort in having reasons to postpone it, even though it irritates me that it'll be that much longer until I get a baby to bring home.

I think the biggest fear is that the same thing will happen all over again. Good thing is, however, that you'll get extra care this next time around. Hopefully, after the first 23 weeks of insane paranoia, you'll be past where you were before and you'll be able to relax a little. ((I lost mine at 38 weeks tho, so I'll be paranoid the ENTIRE PREGNANCY)). Just, voice each and every concern to your doctor. The last few days I was pregnant I had this sense of foreboading. I knew something was going to go wrong, but I was sure I was just freaking myself out. Unfortunately for me, I've always been able to do that but am never able to fix it before it happens. *sigh* I think that was very much part of why I wanted to have my baby RIGHT NOW the last few days (not that it probably would have solved anything. I'm sure she would have died during labor.)

Good luck in your efforts to conceive again, and I truly hope it goes so much better. Enjoy the memory of that hour and a bit you got with Zachariah, but don't let it completely consume you. As cold as it sounds, life does go on. Hopefully you can define your life with the good times too, not just the bad.

[einstein]

Allie, what a horrendous thing you had to live through. I can't imagine how devastating a stillbirth is. Dealing with IF was hard enough for me.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I want you to know that I have a dear friend who's SIL had many IF issues. She had several m/c and then had a full term stillborn girl. Then, she went on to have three healthy babies. I'm not sure her entire story, but she's got a healthy boy and two girls -- three pgs that were pretty much unexpected and worked out phenomenally.

I wish you the same success.