[jencat215]

Hey Shelly-

Actually I think I have heard of that story before. A friend of mine lent me a book a few years back- I can't remember the name of it, but it was about the women from the bible. Apparently their stories were left out of the bible (no, never read the bible- I am just not a religious person and never had the desire to read it). I thought there were 3 sisters? Leah was the 'ugly' one with the mismatched eyes, and Jacob wanted to marry Rachel (or maybe it was the other sister, I can't remember), but the other 2 sisters convinced her that she didn't want to have sex and they all tricked Jacob into marrying Leah. And she got preggers on their wedding night. Anyway, I thought it was a great book and if you know it, let me know the name cause I would like to read it again.

Now that I reread what you wrote about Rachel having 2 sons, I think it was the other sister, the youngest sister, that attracted Jacob first. Cause she did have a child but it was stolen from her by a supposedly barron queen (who later has her own son then threatends to kill the 'non' blood son).

I am trying to grasp the whole God has a plan for me, but it really is hard not being brought up to have faith in anything. Here is another thing... so when that St. Gerard email came around, about the relics that the church will send you, I asked DH to call the church to get us the relics (he is a recovering Catholic). Well it has been 3 or 4 weeks now and it hasn't shown up!!! Maybe that is a sign....

[GRITS]

Thank you Shelly. I love that story.

I had a long message typed out last night, and then soethinghappened with the forum database and it was wiped out! I hate when that happens! Anyone else have trouble?

Anyway I will try to remember what I was talking about......

Alana I know you asked about my cycle................waiting.........nothing going on as of yet I am 3 weeks past D&C.................just waiting..........so is the theory that if I start to talk about behind her back, she will show up? Bring her on!

Oh! I remember I was telling you guys about my Short family!
Since you guys were discussing height. The tallest in my family is my dad @ 5'5", then my brother, one sister and me @ 5'4", and then 2 more sisters @5'1" and 4'11". ANd guess what my maiden name is........SHort! Really My poor brother, at least all the girls got to marry out of it. We all keep in touch pretty well, but I do feel it is up to me. Except for my oldest sister (I was the baby), she moved to MT with me.Well really I moved with her. After Katrina, she decided to move here by her Mother-in-Law. And we were still looking for a place to live. Her name is Alana, and she is like my best friend. So it is nice to be here with her.

Jen, I know we are all so worked up about getting PG. I think you have to be over excited to go through this much trouble. But it is important not to lose sight of the many blessings in our lives already. I am glad you can see the gifts in your life. As hard as it may be sometimes, I do believe there is a plan for each of us even if it does not make sense to us, or it brings us lots of pain. These life experiences make us who we need to be if we let them.

[JustPeachy]

Well, since my name is Rachael and I'm Jewish I definitely know this Old Testament story. Here's the way it goes... Jacob fell in love with Rachael and wanted to marry her first. But, Leah was the oldest daughter and it's custom to marry the oldest daughter first. So, Jacob got tricked! He didn't know until he got to the alter that his wife had gotten switched on him. This is actually how many Jewish wedding customs got started. Many Jewish brides (myself included) wear a veil but then the very first thing in the ceremony is for your hubby to lift the veil and make sure it's really you! Often times the wife also circles her hubby seven times under the altar so he has lots of time to get a good look. Oh, and for Jacob to be able to marry his true love Rachael, he had to work a deal with her father after the first wedding to work for him for several years to earn Rachael

Still, even with all my religious beliefs JenCat, I still have my days of doubt. I can understand how struggles in life make you cherish what you have. But, after that first obstacle or two, it's hard for me to understand why some of us have numerous hurdles to get through to "prove" ourselves worthy of kids. I would rationally think IF alone is enough of a struggle. And yes, I agree that those couples that often shouldn't have kids (marriage issues, lack of marriage issues, drug/alcohol abuse) are the ones that get pregnant on the pill and not even trying! My only recourse on those days is to think of what a happy family my child will have one day and what a struggle it will be for the baby to grow up in a disfunctional household.

I too have good years and bad with the siblings. This is the first time in over ten years that me and my two younger brothers (and their wives) are all living in the same city. It's definitely been a readjustment. My youngest brother and his wife actually lived with us for about 4 months while they were house shopping. It turned into one of those wonderful blessings. We are 6 years apart in age (and his wife and my hubby are 12 yrs. apart) so it was great to reconnect with him again and to get to know him as an adult. My other brother is a doctor and often has little time for family or to make an effort to stay in touch.

I think my height came from the milkman too! My Mom is 5'ft. and Dad is 5'7" and I wound up 5'6". People are always teasing my Mom when I wear heels around her!

[jencat215]

Well rats! I am the shortest one on this thread...

Grits- what is your name? I always see the B and think you are a Barb.

Okay, I didn't mean to sound so down and anti-faith. Truth is, I am actually bouncing up and down on my feelings. Good days and not so good. But not really bad. Yes, that bit about the twins and DH's cousin was a downer (for my own sake), but eventually I will be happy for them. Although I think I will pout about it a bit first, if only to you girls and my co-workers who will never ever meet these people!!!
And on the good days DH and I both are feeling pretty good about our chances to have our own child. It was such a relief to have the HSG done before we went to Boston so we knew that we didn't have to do IVF (at least any time soon!). We don't have insurance to cover it. Although if we ever did have to go that route, we would consider moving to Boston area!

As for the Rachel/Jacob/Leah story, the book I read was really great. And there was another sister, a half-sister. She was the youngest. She was the one that Jacob fell in love with. (this is a book that was supposedly a continuation of what the bible had left out or something). I remember the veil part- that is how they tricked Jacob. I will email my friend for the title of that book. Like I said, I am not religious and don't normally like religious stories, but my friend thought I would like this book (and I can't remember why- boy my brain is fried!). And it was a great read, so maybe you guys might enjoy it too.

Rachel- Did your DH have to 'earn' you?

[GRITS]

Jen, my name is Brenna. My mother's name was Barbara.
I know what you mean about the roller coaster of emotions. I am amazed I have not driven my DH insane!

Rachael.......hmm......I am so used to Peachy, every time I see Rachael I have to think for a minute..... I was a little sad to see that you feel like you might need to 'prove' worthy of kids. I do not think it works that way. I am sure you are wonderful and very worthy, and I bet most everyone here going through this is too. I think we all just have different challenges to face to help us become the people we are meant to be. It may even have nothing to do with ourselves, but more to do with the people we may come across during our journey.
I agree though that it is frustrating to see some get PG. Like seeing Nicole Richie PG irks me a bit!

[sunny72]

I know what you girls mean. I work for a non-profit child and family service agency that deals with children who are at risk. I will never complain about my upbringing now as some children have such a rough start. There is so much abuse and neglect in the world and I just wonder why these people can have child after child and not be able to provide a secure and loving environment for them. So sad.

I called my mother earlier and she proceeds to tell me about two of my old friends fromhome who are "heavily pregnant" -- her words. I know I am fortunate that I have my DD, I get tears in my eyes just thinking about her when I have to go to work these days, I know I am so fortunate, but I did just loose a pregnancy and I don't think she comprehends how deep the pain runs. I just wouldn't go telling someone who just miscarried about all the pregnant people I'd run into in the last week. I guess I realise now why I've not shared personal issues with her over the years. I just end up feeling hurt and misunderstood by her.

Sorry, it's late, and I always feel sorry for myself late at night.

[hopeful2bmom]

jencat- i am 5 '2, was 5'4 , but with the pre-mature ovarian failure, I have been shrinking... very sad. My dh is 5'5 so we were destined to have a very short child but now that i have to use an egg donor, i don't feel so badly!

I am trying to type with one finger as I pack my suitcase for California. Anyone have any good tips about Santa Barbara? Leaving in the afternoon tomorrow...

[JustPeachy]

Grits - Thanks for always giving us your words of inspiration. I'm pretty used to Peachy too! I lived up North for 6 years and some friends of mine all nicknamed me Peachy. It was a nice reminder of home. I'm with you on Nicole Ritchie!

JenCat - I sure did make DH earn me I was already planning on moving back down South and wouldn't even give him my number! But, he tracked me down, was already introducing me as his girlfriend on out third date, converted for me, and followed me to Georgia. Guess I should ease up on the guy! Not that it stopped me from pouting this past weekend after he managed to shrink my clothes in the dryer! His one household duty!

Sunny - We have to find you some good late night junk tv to watch. No S*x In the City reruns near you?? Late nights are always hard. My DH works nights so I'm always on my own too and it's quiet. Moms can be overwhelming. I don't think they have an edit button. And they definitely have selective hearing. Can you remind your Mom just to avoid the entire pregnancy topic with you for a while? I know she thinks she's helping but... you don't need to be rushed. Either that or we're all chipping in to buy you caller id. You are doing a wonderful service at work everday and I'm sure thats reminder enough of these hard times.

[jencat215]

Originally Posted by hopeful2bmom

jencat- i am 5 '2

I'm not the shorty! I'm not the shorty!
My DH is 6'1". If you ask him how tall I am he will tell you that I am 6'5" (I've got him well trained!) or at least taller than Earl Boykins, a very short basketball player that used to play for the Nuggets. Actually, I thought the 2 of you looked much taller in your photo. I would never have thought you (or DH) were the heights you said.

Brenna- would never have guessed that name. I like it. It is going to be hard putting that name to your face. I am going to try to block out Grits and only think Brenna... I really do like that name. Not too common (unlike Jennifer!).
OH, and Martin Short- he is pretty short too!

Rachel-no, you are more like a Rach. Rach- I will pitch in for that caller ID! It has been great in my house. My dad used to call me daily with nothing to say. I started avoiding most calls and he has cut back. And when I don't want to hear my mom complain.... just don't answer the phone! Oh, and I rarely let DH near my washer/dryer. They are the Fisher-Pakel's (sp?) and I LOVE them! Sometimes I let him put the wash into the dryer, but I supervise. He cooks, is on litterbox duty and vacuums. I clean up after his mess, dishes, bake, and do laudry. In fact, it is rare that I go more than 2-3 days w/o doing a load (or 2). I was jonesing in Boston!!! When I go to my MILs I always wind up doing a load. She just backs off cause she knows my obsession. I hate dirty clothes!

Susan-Santa Barbara. Must go wine tasting. Good Syrah and Pinot Noir. And I guess it is known for Chardonnay, if you like the crap, I mean white stuff... It has a very pretty downtown area with lots of neat shops and restaurants. DH mentioned how great the beach was, but you are from Boston area, right? We went in the ocean at the Cape (Nauset beach) and he said that the Atlantic there was warmer than the Pacific! I am from Florida where the beach is the correct temperature- probably sitting at 75 degrees now.

Hi Heidi- yeah it is so hard to see those at risk children. And I agree with all on the Nicole Rithcie thing! Poster child for manditory sterilization (her and Paris Hilton!!!)- hope that wasn't too mean...I am kidding, sort of!

Shelly-Idiocracy? A movie? Never heard of it. Your story of your mom gives me hope that some of the hopeless that do get pg may just turn out alright and produce wonderful offspring!

I gotta go eat some of those grossly fattening chocolate chip cookies I just made- no, not homemade... I do make a mean oatmeal-cranraisin cookie though!

[designdiva32]

Hey girls...I enjoy reading up on your post when I finally get to rest after long days at work. Anyway, its interesting finding out about everyones heights etc...plus I LOVE your name Grits. Brenna is so pretty. If I ever have a girl I hope you don't mind me stealing it!

Anyway, I'm having a bit of a freak out right now. AF finally decided to show up properly today. Its still lighter than usual but definately here. Anyway, I am booked in for my day 3 baseline ultrasound, everythings paid for....but I'm absolutely petrified!! Whats wrong with me? I should be so happy to be doing this! Instead I'm actually thinking about backing out. I keep thinking with all this stress worrying about doing the IUI it won't work anyway...but I have a genuine fair of trying again...and of getting pregnant. The first time was so horrible I'm not sure I can do this. UGH! What am I going to do??!!

[jencat215]

darn..knew I was leaving someone out. Hi Alana- you are way too hard to forget! Guess I just didn't see you in the most recent posts. I am glad that AF is really here. Wow- have you discussed your fear with your DH? Do you think you need more time? Could this possibly be from the AF hormones? I know it is scary to try again after having such a bad experience. For me, after my first m/c I took it from my Ob/gyn's point of view- at least we know that I can get pregnant! I wasn't with an RE and didn't know all that I know now. After my second m/c I was a bit more afraid of something going wrong. Even now, I am scared, more of having another ectopic, but now at least I am doing something for the m/c's- baby aspirin (start again when I get AF) and the extra folic acid. I want this badly enough to go though whatever I have to go though. Keep talking about your thoughts and fears. Maybe that will help you decide on what to do. Whatever it is, you know we will be here to support you!

Rachel- I forgot to mention, I knew you were Jewish from a post I saw from you awhile back. In it you wrote G-d. At first I thought it was a type-o, but then I remembered that as a child I wrote it that way too. I don't think I even wrote any form of that name in the past 15 years, until recently, because there wouldn't have been any reason for me to. I couldn't remember why I wrote it that way for a long time (in college and after), until someone told me that was the Jewish way of writing it. And then I remember my torturous years of Hebrew school. They must of taught me then. Yes, I was a Hebrew school drop out. Many times, in fact. But then my dad forced me to go through with my bat mitzvah. Then completely drop it after a year of confirmation. I just didn't understand. I was older than most kids when I started. Oh, I picked up hebrew pretty quickly...at least I could read and write it just as good as anyone else. Problem was I couldn't understand a **** thing I read or wrote! Pretty useless for me. And even as a kid I just didn't 'feel' religion. To me, it is what separated people. During my confirmation class, the class went to North Carolina -Franklin. We flew into Ashville and stayed the night in a local temple. During that night, some kids drove by and threw rocks at the temple. Why? Just because the people inside held different beliefs on what may have occurred thousands of years ago.
Still, I do think religion is good for some. It is a comfort, like I see for lots of women here. And basically all religions promote peace, love thy neighbor, be good to one another, etc. I really like that aspect of what religion teaches. If there was a religion that just promoted living as the best person you could be- help and be kind to others, etc...and didn't really have a history that you are supposed to have faith in, then sign me up. Until then, I will be an agnostic...Ooh- or more like the religion in Dan Brown's The Davinci Code...with all the symbols and man and women being equal, the yin and yang... that stuff I like.

I don't know how I got into this babble-must have been too many cookies...

[designdiva32]

Jen, you can sign me up for that religion too! I always felt not quite right learning some of the rules my faith I grew up with, Presbytarian, had. In fact, a couple of years ago my MIL was staying with us and shes a devout catholic. Anyway, she kept going on and on about seeing the Pope live in the UK, how amazing, caring etc he was. And she was saying all this to our neighbours who she really liked....until they told her that they were driven out of their country Poland by the Pope and his anti-gay comments and how they actually feared for their lives because of him. Anyway, I thought it was interesting for my MIL to hear that from them as she honestly thought the Pope was perfect. And NO-ONE is perfect, plus she didn't even know her religion didn't allow homosexuality! So definately sign me up for one that doesn't discriminate against people etc. Just nice, kind people helping each other and the planet. Maybe Al Gore or someone should start one! lol

Back to the Day 1 saga (now Day 2), so I have told DH about my worries and he thinks the best thing we can do is just go for it and get used to trying again and then hopefully the fear will go. I have a feeling we won't have success for a few tries anyway, its just a gut instinct that my body is a bit messed up after all this. But I kinda agree I need to get back on the proverbial horse. So I'm going in tomorrow and getting my u/s and Letrozole (not clomid after all) and I'm going to get this party started for us all! So I guess my next question is...who's going to be joining me soon??

[mnm000]

Hi everyone,
I have been following some of these posts for a few weeks, gaining some information. Currently dealing with tests and just beginning my journey into infertility, but the one thing I can offer is the name of the book you all were talking about.
It is called "The Red Tent" I believe. It's been awhile since I read it, but it was definitely a good book.
Best wishes to all.

[hopeful2bmom]

Ok, last post til 8/12! Jen, I can't wait to taste the Syrah and Pinots. I only drink Savignon Blac from New Zealand for whites, and only in the Summer. I am a red girl all the way. We are planning to do the "Sideways" Wine Trail. I would like to see some of the Wineries that Jck and Miles visited, especially the one where Jack drank from the giant vat of wine backwash!!!! Did you guys see the movie? Funny.

Well I am off, DH is still at the office at 7pm. I bet he is having withdrawals and he is sneaking his staff our hotel phone numbers. I will kill him. It's bad enough we have to take our laptops!!!
I hope you all enjoy your week.
Alana- hang in there. You are brave. You can do this.
Hi to all!
Susan