[designdiva32]

Hey girls...I've not left yet. We drive off into the wilderness on Wednesday, however I will be hunting down an internet cafe so I can be here to read about Ronnis BFP. I can't miss one of my girls graduation day now can I?!

Susan, I would be p i s s e d off if my DH sat in the basement talking to some girl. That is definately not proper conduct in a marriage. I wonder if maybe hes not just trying to get attention or something because of all the IF stuff. I know men don't know how to deal with this stuff like normal humans, I figured out long ago that when they are feeling sad or stressed about something they won't tell you, they will just do something stupid like talk to a girl in the basement. Or in my DH's case watch endless soccer games in the basement after working late everyday until I have to go down and DEMAND he talk to me. I think you two need to sit down and chat about how you are both coping. It couldn't hurt. Therapy is also a good option...no-one should ever be ashamed to do that.

Jen, CUTE hairdo hun. You look so young and fresh-faced, are you sure you are 34? Here I am getting an appointment for botox I'm starting to look so haggard. I think its all the stress from IF, its not easy being constantly pregnant but not actually having a baby. I keep wondering what this is doing to my hormone levels...like causing cancer etc. Paranoia I'm sure...still, I'm sure its not healthy.

Heidi, I see you don't have AF yet? Hmmm, me thinks this is a very good sign. Cramps without AF always meant a BFP for me...I think we may have TWO graduates this week. Very very exciting!

Rachael...yay for crossing the viable mark!! Now baby Aiden is joining you no matter what happens, he is going to be our very first forum nephew! I can't wait to meet him...I hope we can get ourselves together and organize a trip oneday, it would be fantastic to see all these little ones up close and personal wouldn't it?

Shelly, I HATE bcp's. I was on them for years before TTC and I swear I must have been a b i t c h the entire time. Honestly, its time they figure out a male contraceptive, this stuff is so bad for us, it didn't just make me grumpy, it made me feel puffy and bloated the entire time too. Very healthy!

Tia, I am on the edge of my seat with your baseline results. I hope hope hope its a go! How exciting if it is...I can't wait for you and me both to finally get sticky bfps!

Martie, yikes...bedridden after the ET without internet! How will you cope?? lol, just make sure theres lots of good tv on or at the very least get your DH to get you out some DVD's and magazines. I'll still check though to see if you've managed to post something.

Brenna, I think I would do saline too, I'm a bit scared of the silicone, there was so much bad stuff in the past wasn't there? I think though I need to get my pregnancies out of the way first...which is turning out to be easier said than done! Then I can go get the double d's I keep threatening my DH with. hehe

Shawna, how are you hun? Are you feeling okay? I'm a little worried, you haven't posted in a while.

[parker john]

finally got the call from the nurse i'm good to start the stims

my E2 level was 35 ... ovaries clear ... and my lining was nice and thin

so i just gave myself a shot here at work ... i was shaking! ... the gonal f pen is actually really easy

i go back in on saturday for a follie check!

thanks girls for praying for me today ... i really appreciate it

alana .... we will get our sticky bfp's

jen ... you look beautiful

[hopeful2bmom]

Jen- first of all you look like a very young girl! Beautiful.

Alana- We will miss you while in the wilderness! Be safe!

Jen- Thanks for the information on hystiocytosis. We actually knew that it was common in her breed and that is why i pushed for the biopsy. The vet tried to tell me it was skin breakdown from fleas! My dogs have never had a flea on them.
We researched the breed thouroughly and despite the multiyude of problems she comes with and her short lifespan, we decided on a Berner anyway. She is a beautiful and smart dog and very gentle with children.
I am hoping that she has cutaneous and not systemic or malignant. Cutaneous has no tx other than prednisone, but it ususally remits on it's own. Not fatal, the other two are fatal.

Ugh... I made an appointment with our marriage counselor today. Funny, we are going to see the RE on Wed and DH usuaually does start to act up when IF stuff starts again. I wish he would just aknowledge it to me.
Alana- I just ordered 30% glycolic acid cream and vits C and A for my haggered looking face. I know what you mean about botox. A few years back my ex had a botox party for all the docs and nurses at the hospital! I was too afraid of getting it so now I am stuck with my wrinkled forehead!

Shawna- Where are you???

Ronni- You are on your way to a bfp!
ParkerJohn- Yippies for the stims!
Everyone else, good luck and best wishes!!!!

[sunny72]

Susan, umm what can I say. That would really pee me off too. Sorry he's so inconsiderate. The only thing I can think on the positive side, is that if there was anything to worry about, he wouldn't be talking to her in your presence. It would be more secretive if there were bad intentions. That being said, nothing he did or said was particularly respectful. I hope it doesn't turn into a huge fight... you don't need that stress.

[hopeful2bmom]

Thanks Heidi

RESPECT. That is what we are missing lately in our marriage. Where did it go I wonder...?

[sunny72]

Susan, I don't think I'll do the tummy heatpad thing again if there's any radioactivity. I'm worried enough about the laptop. I'll just make big bowls of milo which may have the same effect!

Jen, you looked cute as a button. We'll just have to imagine the ringlets.

I don't know Alana, maybe it was because we spent the first 20-odd years of our lives in a country with next to no ozone layer, so our skin is suffering the consequences. I've got that real ruddy scottish skin mixed with freckles and spots from never having worn sunscreen as a kid. My sister got the nice tan-able skin from dad's scandanavian side. Looks like you have that too.

I'm not reading into the no period yet thing, because the progesterone shots would no doubt delay it anyway. So there's no telling. Wouldn't it be nice if we had an internal switch that said pregnant or no pregnant so we would just know already.

Speaking of internal things, creating my own segway.... I've got a real pinching feeling in the cervix area today? I did a bit of an investigation (sorry always giving too much TMI) and the other day my cervix was low and today it's kind of high and to the side?? I know that can be a good sign, but it can also be nothing at all. So I am going to self protect and go for it meaning nothing right now.

Yay Tia!!! So happy you got the go ahead.

Oh one more thing. Speaking of reading into things.... it seems like since I lost the pregnancy my mother has been going out of her way to tell me about who's pregnant EVERY time we talk. Yesterday she mentioned that my 19 year old cousin was pregnant and that she tried for a year. In my mind that's her way of telling me, "see if you're patient it will happen naturally". She apparently doesn't know how much of our married life we've spent dedicated to unromantic baby-making. I really don't want to go into the disfunctional fallopian tubes/low sperm count /advanced maternal age conversation with her, but I'm getting close to it.

[Shellyhume]

First, Susan, I'm glad to see that there is marriage counseling involved... and I have to agree with Alana... this could just be his way of seeking attention while his wife is so preoccupied with IF... you both really need to talk. Go to him calmly and explain that talking to another woman in private looks really bad and it shouln't happen anymore. Anything he had to say to her was acceptable to say in front of you. Also, he's not planning on meeting this woman without you, is he? Maybe your DH has no idea how bad this looked. I know I've been guilty of something like this myself and didn't realize it until Danny told me it bothered him. Something to consider. All in all, though, you both really need to sit down and talk... the plus side... at least your husband is willing to go to counseling.

Heidi - I actually grew up in Pepperell, MA. Funny, ay? Your mom sounds like a woman who has never dealt with infertility... keep that in mind. I was at the hospital last week and I started talking to this woman who was walking out with me and taking the elevator... she was probably in her 60s and said the very same thing your mom incinuated... relax, it'll happen... I was annoyed and said, "well, I have no fallopian tubes so if it happened it'd be immaculate conception." Which isn't entirely true... just mostly... I just wanted to shut her up. Stupid ladies think they know everything just because they were able to have babies without help. Poo.

Tia - YAY!!!! So glad your US went well today!!! Doing a happy dance over here for you!

[sunny72]

The neighbor directly across from me is in her 70's and every time our paths cross, she asks if I'm ready for another one. I think I've made it quite clear we don't just so she'll quit asking. But no, she'll still keep asking and telling me how her son and wife don't want any. I can't help but wonder if that's just what they've told her to get her to quit asking them too.

Next time I'll use the no fallopian tubes zinger!!!

[designdiva32]

lol, I'm going to use that line too. I get so fed up with people asking how its going with TTC, I mean, is it any of their business? Thankfully I have one good friend who knows all about miscarriage as half the women in her family struggle with infertility. Shes about the only one who doesn't come up with stupid lines like 'relax and it will happen'. Instead she tells me to get testing etc which is so much more helpful. I can't believe though you finally have one baby, only to start getting harassed about having the second. When does it end??

[designdiva32]

Oh, and I almost forgot....Yippeeeeeee Tia!!! You are on the road to your sticky BFP!! I can't wait to see you on the grads list in a few weeks.

And Heidi, nope, my sister got the tanable, olive, scandinavian skin. I do tan well, but I also go spotty and wrinkly like what you described. Definately more English blood in me than my sister. I also blame the lack of ozone that we grew up with...I mean, theres hardly anyone in NZ and yet we end up with screwed up atmosphere. Hardly seemed fair.

[sunny72]

Seriously, Stella was an infant and the nosey neighbor and other people mostly her age group were asking me about having another. One of DH's aunts was like "it's better to have them close in age". I just about threw my fork at her and told her to mind her own ovaries.

[GRITS]

Rachel, I hope your Dh's back gets better soon so you can go back to being the center of attention as you deserve.

Shelly, the bcp issues stinks. They are almost over now. I am feeling good, ready to enter into the TWW!

how are you hanging in there Heidi? Dreams of poas yet?

Susan, I am sorry you are in such a funk! Those kinds of relationships are hard. I think the only thing I might have done different is waited until he got of the phone to lay into him, so I could have his full attention. BIL is definitely a priority here. And he could have done a lot more to make sure you were not uncomfortable. If only men could express their emotions in realistic words how easy marriage would be. I think counseling is a great idea. DH and I would not be here without it!
Respect is definitely a must!
Tia, you sound like me, LOL, I have to pee when I am nervous too. Yeah for stims!!

Jen, what a great photo, yep, definitely wedding hair!
You look beautiful.

[hopeful2bmom]

Thank you ladies for all of your wonderful advice and insights. If only men had some insight or foresight, then we would not be so miserable. They would just know what to do and say.
I am still so nervous about doggie that I cannot focus on anything else.
One of my doggies has some serious gas lately. PEEEEUUUUU!!!!!!
Alana and Heidi- I had no idea the ozone in NZ sucked??? I thought NZ was so conscious about gases and pollution. Is it the location? Sorry if I am being dumb...
Anyway, I always felt that the air was so much clearer and cleaner there. I am thinking of planning a girls trip to NZ in February if I am not preggo.
A few of us love to hike and kayak and I have wanted to go back ever since I left. I kayaked in Doubtful Sound on the South Island and it was beautiful. Dolphins were jumping over the front's of our kayaks and seals were playing with us. It was quite magical.
Where are you girls from again? Hawkes Bay- someone right???

[hopeful2bmom]

Oh and Shelly- You are wise beyond your years dear. thanks for the advice

[sunny72]

Susan, I'm originally from Hamilton which was a bit of a snore-fest on the North Island. Although these days it doesn't seem so bad. I lived in Queenstown before I left NZ and that really feels like home now when I visit. Although I'd never be able to afford to own anything there. It's way too touristy now also.

I didn't really know why we have the crappy ozone holes either. NZ doesn't produce excessive amounts of pollution especially compared to China and the US. Here's my internet research:

The ozone hole is the result of a combination of factors: man-made chemicals containing chlorine and bromine; the isolation and cold of the Antarctic atmosphere during the polar winter; the formation of polar stratospheric clouds; the chemical reactions that occur on the surfaces of those clouds; and the return of sunlight in spring.

Research conducted at NIWA’s atmospheric research facility at Lauder, Central Otago, shows that approximately half the long-term ozone decline at mid-latitudes in the southern hemisphere (including New Zealand) has been caused by the export of ozone-depleted air from Antarctica. In recent years, there has been about ten percent less ozone over New Zealand in the summer than 30 years ago.

Now, back to the poles, where there are indeed observed ozone-depletion zones. How come? Well, there happens to be two places on Earth where UV light doesn’t meet rising warm air molecules: where the Sun shines less and where it is cold — at the Poles! Because the Earth is tilted, there is a wide area of depletion around both poles, and New Zealand happens to be under the southern depletion zone for much of the winter. In fact the “hole” gets bigger towards spring, because the highs and lows of the effect are modified by Earth’s wind systems and subsequently the flow of warm and cold air. That is why you see glaring headlines on sudden discoveries about ozone depletion around New Zealand around New Zealand’s springtime. But by December the hole is much smaller, and that's when New Zealand has its summer, when the skin cancer risk from the sun is higher.