[parker john]

wow josee ... that is crazy about your in-laws ... it's really not worth fighting over them with your dh ... remember you married him ... not your in-laws!

[designdiva32]

Josee your inlaws sound very annoying to me...and I know what thats like. My inlaws, especially MIL and me, have had our moments. Thankfully they are in the UK and I don't have to see them often. Plus, with MIL's cancer she seems to be mellowing a wee bit, although I'm sure that won't last. I always find the husbands aren't exactly good at picking up on the fact their parents can be nightmares...I just think men are pretty oblivious to this stuff most days. I think the best thing is to try not to spend to much time with them and not worry if they comment on how you are never there. I mean...who cares what they think anyway!! You're too fabulous for their crap!!

Tia, Yay for working from home!

Ronni, how are you doing today hun?

Susan, your baby will be beautiful, mixed-race people are considered the most attractive to people of all races and gender, it was proven by some poll they did that I saw on the news a couple of years ago. Annabelle is going to be gorgeous.

I have to go get dressed so I can drop DH off at work, but I'll be on later to chat to you all.

[goob07]

I'm here girls and DH and I survived yesterday. I had my favorite Starbucks drink for the first time in months and DH and I cooked a great dinner together last night. We're going to be just fine. I know I'll swing all over the place emontionally for a while and I'm afraid anger will be my baseline for a bit.

I did have a hard time at Target yesterday afternoon. Ours is simply FULL of pregnant ladies and babies. (We moved to this area 6 1/2 years ago because it's full of young families and great schools.) I almost started crying in the tampon isle since they stock those right next to the HPTs and the sight of the Clear Blue Easy Digital truly makes me feel sick to my stomach right now. All I could do was picture the words "Not Pregnant". In fact, if anyone wants one free FRED and one free CBE stick - I'll gladly mail hem to you. I'm done with that bllsht. Yuck.

DH has been wonderful and my older brother is an amazing source of support for me right now. He and his wife did 3 IVFs several years ago (2 locally and 1 at CCRM) just like us. He's a doctor and really understands everything about the process and personal aspects. He's been great. Best part is that he agreed to talk with our mom for a while last night about it because I knew she'd was wanting to grieve with someone and I simply couldn't do it. He ran interference for me.

The good news is that DH starts a new job Monday and it could be a very exciting change for him. He'll be working with an oil & gas investment firm and I'm proud of him for changing industries while the real estate/mortgage business here is in such bad shape. Seriously - he's had almost zero income since October. Since I'm not working yet and we've spent $50K cash in the past year on IVFs - we're getting to a scary place. I'm hoping he finds the new job rewarding and challenging but I have to admit I'll miss being with him every day at home. Never, ever thought I'd say that! IF and unemployment have really brought us closer together. I guess we've passed some of life's toughest challenges over the past year and I can be proud of that, huh?

Okay - enough about me. Sorry about that!

Tia - BCPs were always the worst part for me. I could cry or be angry about anything. Glad this phase is coming to a close for you and can't wait to follow your progress!!!

Peach - Don't be sad for me. I'm okay. Really. You've been a wonderful friend through ALL my cycles and I can't tell you how often I refer to "my sweet friend in Atlanta".

Kelly - I'd be frustrated with DH for quitting the zinc too. My DH didn't even modify his diet, take vitamins or give up beer during all of our cycles and there were definitely days I wanted to throw in the towel because I was having to do all the work. Being a woman is hard. Hang in there and start your vacation countdown!!

April - Miss you!!! I'm glad to hear you'll be finished with training and home soon. Will you and Mel be home together for at least a few days before one of you is in the air??

Josee - You in-laws sound delightful. I understand your stress about having to spend time with them. I don't click with mine either and it always gets me frustrated when we're with any of them. DH has 4 brothers and sisters and they're all local so it seems we're always with at least one of them! When's your biopsy supposed to be??

Alana - Glad to hear MIL is mellowing out a bit. How is her health progressing and how is DH doing? Love, love, love the nursery picture! Very chic!

[jencat215]

I like Annabelle Claire.

Josee-wow your ILs sound like they suck. What a pain.

So I talked with CCRM yesterday. I have a meeting with the Dr. on Monday. OH, the Dr. called ME yesterday. First he called me back on Monday, after I talked to the receptionist. Then I just didn't have time to get back to him with the interviews and house inspections and crap, so he called me AGAIN yesterday. Anyway, he is going to meet with us, then try to fight our insurance company for us and squeeze us into a June cycle. If the insurance company pays us back some for the out of network clinic, then I am just going to go back to CCRM. And it really seems like they want me back

Gotta get ready for another lunch interview today. Since it was just to meet with my contact and have lunch, now it will be a tour the facility/meet other people, then lunch, I wanted to just dress business casual. Of course, that means a new outfit, right? So I go to Eddie Bauer (I love that store) and find the right pants, but DH wants me to wear a button down shirt, short sleeve (it was supposed to be in the 80s today, but now it says only high of 70) in white! Okay, we are talking about Jen, going to lunch to make a good impression, wearing white??? That shirt wouldn't stand a chance!
So I ended up picking out a purple 3/4 sleeve light sweater v-neck. Looks nice with the pants and is more casual than a button down (I have several long sleeve button downs but am not the most comfortable in them...I fidget alot. Oh yeah, I can wear my new purse with this outfit! I would wear my peep toes, but the heels are so freaking high and I have trouble walking alot in them. So more sensible shoes with a smaller heel (my pants are too long!).

Oh yeah, and I went to the ob/gyn for my annual yesterday and they measured me at less than 5'3"! I threw a fit and told her she couldn't measure worth ****. She wouldn't even let me look at where the measurement was. And she wouldn't even say how much less??? WTF? We all know that I am at least 5'8" Darn it. I have been telling people that I am 5' 3 and 3/4" for years! What happened?

[jencat215]

Originally Posted by goob07

the sight of the Clear Blue Easy Digital truly makes me feel sick to my stomach right now.

me too, but for other reasons
how is your job search going?

I do feel lucky with Walt when I hear how hard you guy's have it with getting your husbands to take their meds and participate. Mine hasn't gone in a hot tub for 2 years (even though he desperately wants to), drinks very moderately, and won't at all (or very very little) in the 2 weeks before ovulation. Takes multivitamins and did his own research on zinc and makes sure he eats foods high in it or takes supplements. Hasn't been on a bicycle in a long long time. And doesn't get his heartrate up too high. And he doesn't have any sperm issues!
But he still can piss me off like no one's business to where I want to ring his neck. Men!

[JustPeachy]

Jen - I hope you round up to at least 5'4" on your drivers license! Good luck with all those exciting interviews today.

Ronni - I would be proud of DH too for trying a new industry. It's really scary times right now in real estate. I have 2 deals going and it's nothing short of a miracle. This will be my 4th closing this year and it puts me in the top 10 in our office which is beyond bizarre. I'm glad you've had this time to be together and go through the gamut of emotions together. Somehow it was just meant to be that you would both be off work right now. Now, why can't Texas be closer to Georgia already??

Josee - ILs suck. I'm right there with you. I get so frustrated with mine who just flat out lie. They called my Mom on mother's day, claimed to have left us a message, and there was nothing as usual. Try not to let them get under your skin. Just countdown the hours while you're there and know that it's only one day and you are there for your neice. I think a coach purse is still cool!

Gotta run today. I've got a home inspection for one of my buyers. DH is on babysitter duty for the day. Aiden slept in till 8:30am and all I could think of from his normal wakeup at 7am till I finally saw him stir on the monitor was SIDS. I've got to get over it. This belly sleeping and rolling has got me all worked up.

[hopeful2bmom]

Josee- I am pretty sure we are sharing the same inlaws!
They are exactly the same. DH's mother interrupts me when I talk, she steals our change, she emands that DH takes her out for lobster or prime rib every time she comes. Asked for a trip to Brazil! WTF?
We should sent them away together(permananently)

Rach- i can't even imagine how nerve wracking that is. i am a total neurotic freak and I know I will be up staring at the baby's chest all night, never mind when she gets to the rolling stage.
I think that will have to be when I start taking Zanax!

I am pretty bored here today. Grey and cold out. Where is that elusive Spring in New Engalnd?

I just finished addressing all of my Thank You notes for my shower(thanks to a tip from Rach!)

Any news on MArtie?
Should we leave her a message at home?
I vote Jen to do that. She is out spokesperson.

Jen- I like Annabelle Claire too

[MissBish]

So I just got off the phone w/ my RE. Totally grilled her with questions....

do you know they have never tested my progesterone level....when I asked her why she said because my HCG #'s were going up fine. She also said that she really wouldnt change my protocal since I got PG with the last round. We are increasing the dose of gonal-f....and because of shelly....I am going to take BCP's when i get AF next month. I once took "Low-Ogestrel" last year before we went to Punta Cana because I was going to get AF during my trip. It was the only pill that didnt make me weepy and flip out.

Anyway, I usually have a 50% icsi rate (1st round 8 eggs/8 mature/4 fertilized and 2nd round 12 eggs/8 mature/4 fertililzed). The 1st time I only had 1 to freeze and the last time I had none. Soooo....I guess I am now officially doing everything possible. I was always so against the pill...but she did say that it helps synchronize the follicles!!

[MissBish]

Josee- your in-laws sound ridiculous! to ask you for $$ for pizza is just "sans class". I mean...your FIL is an attorney! Gimmme a break. I hope you make it through the weekend. Just drift away in your mind and put all those negative thoughts in a bubble and try not to let them get to you.

Ronni - My heart is aching for you sweetie! I am so glad to hear how close you and DH are and how strong you both are. I know there is nothing I can continue to say to take the pain away...but its so nice to hear you have such a wonderful, supportive husband by your side.

Susan - I like your nose!! You and DH will have a BEAUTIFUL child. Look at you hot stuff!!

Jen - thats awesome about CCRM! I really hope everything works out hun. Do you take the pill prior to your cycle?

Rach - educate me...whats going on w/ aiden? is he starting to roll over? i am totally clueless....teach me!

Heidi - how much bp/rj are you taking? I am just dipping the teaspoon in the jar once a day...and you?

[tamtam]

Originally Posted by parker john

wow josee ... that is crazy about your in-laws ... it's really not worth fighting over them with your dh ... remember you married him ... not your in-laws!

I respectfully disagree. I think you do marry the man and the family. Just like my DH married me and my family crazy. Ex: We went to visit in December and then got to play cards w/ our people. My uncle although he and Bob won the game started yelling at Bob about his strategy and siad that Bob was too careful.
The crazy comes w/ the game.
It is hard to work this out.

[ara79]

hi girls. sorry i have been in lurk mode lately.

ronni, i don't even know what to say. i agree that it was meant to be that you and dh would have this time off together. i am so glad that you have each other to lean on. i bet the two of you could withstand anything...you are a solid rock after getting through all of this together. good for your dh for trying something new. i hope it goes great for him next week.

rach, i have a lot to learn and i am so glad that we have you to learn from.

martie, i am thinking of you!!! i hope and pray that you and hannah are doing well. i can't wait to see her pics.

josee, that totally sucks about your ILs. i agree with tia...you married your dh, not his family. i agree that yes, they are now a aprt of your life, but you don't have to love and respect them as you do your husband. just get through the weekend and then it will be behind you. at least he isn't sticking up for them!!

kelly, it sounds like you are all geared up for your next cycle! i can't wait to cheer you on. did you talk to your dh about how that made you feel?

jen, let us know how it goes today! i've got a good feeling for you. oh and your outfit sounds perfect!!

tia...still no headaches or cramps? that is great. i am getting so excited for you!

susan, i like annabelle for the spelling and i cannot pick between your middle names. i love them all! oh, and my brothers wife is cambodian and they have the most beautiful (i am a biased aunt, but they really are!) children. yours will be too!!!

dh and i had an awful night. we fought and we fought bad. it's been a very long time since we had a night like lastnight and i am afraid that it really hurt me. i felt vulnerable and alone and very sad. i guess we are ok now, but to be honest i am not ok. he has a problem communicating when we fight and it makes me feel like an unimportant lunatic. it makes me tear up again thinking about it. ugh...

[ara79]

dang it!!! i am SOOO wanting to FB something right now and i can't. i bet you can guess.

[MissBish]

i actually was thinking the same thing Amy.

i am sorry that you and DH fought. i can understand what it feels like when you feel like a lunatic. thats why i really havent mentioned anything to Dh about not taking the supplements. he might accuse me of being a "nag"....i hope things get better. you guys have been through alot!

[Angelwithhope]

Hey Ladies. I'm having lunch with my SIL today and I look like crap!! Pure and simple. It started when we were watching "PS I love you" last night. I just went through trying to figure out all the feelings that Hilary Swank's character went through so that hit close to home, except that my DH is still alive. (Thank God!) And I've known that losing my third pregnancy was going to hit me soon, I didnt' realize it would be last night. I was up crying most of the night. I hate IF and how unfair it can be. I cried for Ronni and DH for quite a while. And I cried for our third loss. I'm at my wits end.

I then got up this morning and looked in the mirror, my eyes are beyond puffy. I swear they're close to being swollen shut. But I ignored it and planned to put a cold compress on them before getting ready for my lunch date. Dh reminded me to check out our house listing which I did but then they screwed almost everything up and I had to rewrite it. (I should be in real estate for pete's sake, I used to do DH's write ups for him too!!!!) I sent that email off and I'm feeling my nerves being pulled tighter and tighter. Look down at my list of must dos and remember I need to try and book an u/s. I call the central booking office and get NOTHING but attitude. Because my clinic is in the next province over I have to go to my regular GP which would be probably a two to three week wait, by which time I'd have AF again, and we're trying to organize that I start suppression on the next cycle. She tells me I can pay for said u/s but I have NEVER IN MY LIFE payed for an u/s. She starts accusing me that I've already had ER and I'm trying to tell her no, but I had an ectopic and need a baseline for that reason. She wouldn't listen to me and I hung up the phone BAWLING! Called DH and told him I'm calling the clinic and taking us off the iVF waiting list.

I am so **** sick of jumping through hoops for the medical proffession! I told Dh that next they'll want me to put on a red freakin nose and squeeky shoes and dance around for their amusement. Seriously, not even the medical proffession understands the amount of stress and crap they put us through!

I'm so sick of this. I so honestly at this very moment don't care anymore. I'm sick of deserving people going through this, losing their babies, jumping through medical hoops....I'm sick of fighting....I can't help but give up. Dh told me that it'll be all alright tomorrow, that I'll want to cycle and that it will be different but at this point, I can't even bring myself to fly alone to go for a freakin ultra sound! (Severe fright of flying alone!!! and severe fright of flying period) Not to mention that I shake thinking about having to drive in our clinic city.

It all brings me to wonder, I want this so bad, why can't I act like it? So maybe I don't want this badly enough?!?! IF brings so many conflicting feelings with it. I'm just done.

[MamaSoon]

Tia, I know what you mean. I didn't marry the family, they sure seem like they are the ones that wished I hadn't married in. Oh well, I guess I am just one of many of us girls with the nutso inlaws. LOL! (It was so nice to talk to you on the phone today!)

Hey Ronni, I just wanted to check if you got them. I send flowers to your house yesterday same-day delivery. Did you get them? To answer your question, my biopsy is on 5/27.

And Ronni, I totally agree that IF can really bring a couple closer. I certainly feel the same way. Congrats on DH's new job. Your brother is quite the champion in running interference with your mom. That is so so so sweet.

I have DH on supplements. He takes them quite religiously but he is a total pill popper so he never objects. But he has been drinking caffeine and alcohol again. He had stopped for 6 months. I hope we get