[jencat215]

Now Rachael, you are the LAST person here (besides me ) who I would have thought would have a tatoo. I was brought up being told that you can't be buried in a jewish grave (or something) if you have a tatoo. Now, being the rebellous kid that I was, that should have sent me out the door to go get a tatoo, but I was way to chicken, and even back then the whole permenant thing bothered me. If you can get a photo of the tulip (my favorite flower), post it!

I do remember Chai. I used to have a Chai charm. Probably got it from my bat mitzvah from someone. I wonder if I still have it?
I guess I am my own religion...Jenism. It is a very peaceful, friendly religion (except during PMS time...apparently it is NOT a happy place, more of a witchy one!).

This is a cute story. So DH and I went to Boulder to find a jewerly store to stretch his wedding band (he broke is finger months and months ago and it hasn't fit since. We did get him a simple silver band to wear until he got it fixed when we were in a gift store on Mt Elbert (or one of the 14ers...can't remember the name!). Anyway, he asked the clerk if they had any rose quartz stones in a setting. I looked at him weird...why? So he told me that he had done some research and that rose quartz is a stone of fertility. How sweet. Unfortunately, they only had some gaudy stones, so no new jewerly for me! But the thought was sweet. Then I remembered that my Aunt gave me a rose quartz heart years and years ago. I forgot what she told me it was for-health? Anyway, time to dig that up! Look at me, amulets and charms and relics???? What would my fellow scientists think? Actually, scientists are a pretty superstitous bunch. DH keeps a certain stuffed reindeer on his computer when he is solving a structure. Both of us have lucky bamboo in our offices. Lots of others have some sort of 'luck' doll or charm or something on their benches. I only use purple lab tape... stuff like that. Apparently, not only are we , but we are also on another planet!!! Just plain crazy. But, if it gets you through the day...

[jencat215]

This is a neat site I saw for fertility jewerly...

Fertility Jewelry, Pendants, Earrings, Meditations and Charms

[Angelwithhope]

I love Tattoos! Do do share Rachel!!!

My three stars are as following:

My yellow star is for my struggle with depression. My family often would discount me because I was depressed, they often told me that it was "in my head"...that I didn't need help and should "just get over it". It is somethign that I have not gotten over, DH and I have struggled together as a couple with it as well. I am not the most shinning of people to be aorund sometimes and my attitude towards life often stinks so bad, you'd think something was rotten! LOL. I continue to struggle to this day with it, but with my DH's help and some natural meds, I am starting to deal with my feelings and over coming it.

The red star is to resemble the birth month of our first baby, who we have named Bean. Bean was supposed to be born in July, hense the red/ruby color.

The blue star is to represent our struggles with Infertility. Blue is my DH's favorite color as well. It is a symbol that we can make it through as long as we put our fate in the hands of God and fate and trust in both that our plan is already set before us. We just have to act it out and follow the stars to the destination it has choosen for us.

When I got the tattoo in January, to date those were the three struggles that haunted me the most, my depression, our infertility and the death of our first baby. I would like to add a fourth purple star (For the February birth month of our little Peanut) but think it would throw it off. So there for I'm going for the tiny pairs of baby feet and will probably add a touch of red to one and a touch of purple to the other.

As for DH, he had the idea for the turtle in his head. He explained it to the artist, she drew and he liked! lol.

[GRITS]

Goodmorning girls.
Shawna, I ams orry you have had to battle with that without your families support. It is terribly hard for people who have never experienced it to understand. When my mom died I fell into a serious depression and my DH had the hardest time dealing with me. He has now figured out that it was not a fault of my own. Thank God! I still have to be careful not to fall into cycles of it. I find exercise is the best med for keeping hormones, and serotonin, where they need to be.
Well I think AF is showing...........I think. It is very light for a first day for me. But that seems to be a trend here. So I get to call my nurse at the clinic and see what is next. I think they will put me on the pill.

Jen, I think your aunt's rose heart is a great idea. You should go find it. That wsa so sweet of your DH. Thanks for the link to jewelry. I might have to give it a try.

So Rachel, I would love to know the story behind your tat.....?

[Angelwithhope]

Good morning Ladies!

Breanna- Thanks. It has been a hard thing, it has put strain on so many relationships in the past that those relationships have ended. (the first love of my life left me because of it, but obviously, not the first TRUE love, because I'm married to him now! LOL) I forgot to mention that yellow is also my favorite color, part of the happy/sad part to the star. I tried to pay homage to the bad things but include the good things as well in a way. The blue star also represents DH, the Yellow Star me and the red star our baby. So much meaning even I forget it at times! LOL.

Anyways, AF is here with a vengence. How lucky am I? lol

[JustPeachy]

I guess inquiring minds want to know... what's a conservative girl like me doing with a tatoo?? No good answer for that except I always wanted one. I've got one of those rebelious streaks about wanting to do unexpected things. I got it my senior year of college and yes I was completely sober! I knew I was going into a career in banking/finances and wanted it somewhere not to obvious and didn't want to worry about wrinkles later in life. So, behind my right ear it was. It always freaks out new hairdressers and you can see it in a lot of my wedding photos. I'll have DH take a picture tonight. It's faded a lot (I heard that happens with the reds) and seems to resemble a rose more than a tulip. I've always had a huge love of flowers. I've always got cut flowers in the house and probably my favorite job of all time was working at a florist doing arrangements. I just find flowers very cheerful and therapeutic.

Jen- It's true that I won't be able to be buried in the Orthodox section of a strict Jewish cemetary (as I was often reminded by Mom). But, DH converted to marry me, so he wouldn't be able to be buried there either. I think we'll stick with the more conservative Jewish side. I can see you walking around with all your fertility good luck charms strung around you neck! There's got to be some good luck in there somewhere!

Shawna - Depression is such a struggle. It is so important that you have your "true love" by your side. The impact of those around us is just huge on our daily emotions. I think it's wonderful that you recognize your struggles. My best friend had horrible post-partum depression. I tried to talk her into seeing someone, gave her names of doctors, even spoke to her husband alone about it. But, she wouldn't recognize it and her husband thought it was just part of being a new mom. She now says she can see she had a problem and will get help with the next child. Her husband traveled a lot for work and she would spend hours locked in the bathroom crying or drinking excessively. Her baby was very colicky and it's taken her two years now to feel as though she has a bond with her son. So, don't forget about all those hormones after the pregnancy too! You just need a great support network to watch and help you

Grits - I admire your strength too in these daily battles. It's not easy and you've done a wonderful job of staying positive. I hope AF is here to stay.

Alana - Tomorrow is your big day!!!

[Angelwithhope]

Rachel- Thank you. It has been an incrediable struggle for myself, my family, my relationships and my family to be will probably not be any different. In reading literature on PCOS I come to find out it is a very common sign of it. I'm hoping by eating right (today is out, I had a handful of chocolate chips cause AF asked me to! LOL) and excercising that this will help control my mood swings and depression. The only people who understand less then my family (who have actually grown to understand me more then they did!) is my INLAWS! They think I need to be perfect or something, like my SIL...uh un! Not going to happen! I am me and I will change for no one!
I can't wait to see a pic of your tattoo!

Alana- OMGosh, it's your day tomorrow....WOO WOO!!! I'm so excited for you!!!

Where is everyone else at in the scheme of things...I know there are a few of us with AF right now...any big plans of IUI or otherwise in the near future for everyone?

[sunny72]

Well I typed a big long post this morning but lost it --so here's the shortened rendition.

Shawna. Depression is no fun and very much misunderstood. In March this year I started Prozac for the first time in my life, but it only lasted two weeks because we started the IVF process and I chose to stop the medication. I am not ruling it out for future use. It got to the stage where I was miserable and I didn't want to be. It was like a dark cloud following me around and I couldn't shake it. I more so have to deal with social anxiety but I think that's a learned behavior from my mother. I'm not sure what the fix is for that aside from having a few stiff drinks.

Alana, I think your super-follie is going to do great. No pressure, but we wish you ALL the best!!!!

Peachey, looking forward to the tattoo picture. Behind the ear did you say? OUCH! I really like looking at tattoos but have never taken the plunge myself. Where I grew up we called them "tats" but my DH informed me early on not to say that here. Ha ha, different meaning.

Jen, that looks like the same site I was looking at. I was thinking of buying one of those necklaces with the little feet, but I'm afraid my inlaws would see it and find out about the IF and m/c. I'm not ready to go there with them yet if ever.

I'm still conflicted about how to feel about the m/c. I think it would be so much easier to think of it more clinically, but after seeing the u/s and heartbeat etc.. it's making it harder not to feel like I lost a little being or potential being. One day I will have clarity about it I guess.

[Angelwithhope]

Good evening ladies!

I haven't much to say! I'm just sitting here thinking how on my 25th birthday, it's pretty well the third anniversary of us trying and I just want to stop time and keep October from coming. I'm not too happy about any of it. (Aren't we all!? Well you know what I mean right?! lol)

Anyways, DH is out, volunteering for the MS society, I'm home and my brain starts! BOO!

[jencat215]

Heidi-Well, DH bought me that bracelet from the site. I can't wait to get it! That was so sweet. He said that he has been looking for something to get me to help me through what we've been going through. Problem is, I am always suspicious of him on the computer. Is he looking at my posts (oh no!), playing too much online Euchre? Looking for more expensive stereo equipment to buy (he just brought home a new sub woofer. Not that I could see what was wrong with the old sub woofer, but whatever...).

Anyway Rachael, I don't think they will let me be buried in the orthodox jewish cemetary either, with my new St. Gerard charm!!! Can't wait to see the tatoo.
You know, my mom always told me the tatoo thing was for any jewish cemetary...but she has 6 'tats' (Heidi, they say that in Scotland-too funny), but her's are tiny dots that she had to have when she got radiation-so they could line up the machine exact each time... does that count?

Brenna- yay for AF coming!!! Hopefully for the last time for quite a while!

Shawna-I hope we can be here to cheer you up. Exercise and good diet always does make me feel better too. I have been feeling not that great for the last week cause with AF I feel lazy, tired and constantly hungry!!! We can encourage each other. Tonight I think I will start doing my abs routine. What routine, you ask? Well, I will let you know once I make it up!!! At work we (us girls) started a exercise ball 'class' at 8am (ugh! I usually like to get in at 9am!). It has been great for stretching. I have a large ball that I sit on instead of my chair, and a small ball for the class. I had them at home, and I stared at them alot (didn't get much use, though). Now that they are at work, I do use them!!!

Alana!!! everything goes perfect tomorrow! Details after!!!

[Shellyhume]

Teenca, sorry I don't have any advice... but we got lots 'o love! Thanks for joining us!

Peachy - Endo, really? And you're 18 weeks. Phew... that really makes me feel SO much more at ease. I've always heard endo makes getting and staying pregnant harder... but maybe I heard wrong. Two more days... then I'll ask all about it. I don't want to opt for surgery... but I also don't want to take any chances at losing another baby. It hurt too much the first two times. Anyways, on a side note... You rebel you. A tattoo. I'm so jealous. Always wanted one but it's very taboo in the Seventh-Day Adventist religion (similar to Judaism only Christian) but we wouldn't be buried in a different graveyard because of it... so I've thought about it. Always wanted something in memory of my father who passed in '01... and now something to encourage me to fight this IF battle... perhaps something to remember my two angel babies...

Shawna - very colorful tattoos... and I'm with you... people shouldn't tattoo themselves unless it has powerful meaning... something WORTH remembering for life.

Grits - Sorry to hear about your mom... as I mentioned earlier, my daddy passed after years of illness and diabetes. I, too, fell into depression. My first stage of grief, denial, lasted a little over a year... then it hit me like a ton of bricks one day and I was in depression for a long, long time. I gained 30 lbs because i never wanted to get out of bed and just wanted to sleep all the time... I got my first F ever that semester in college... it was ugly. But I've come to terms and slowly got to the place I am now... tenacious in getting what I want... No one loved me like my daddy did and I'll never forget him for it.

Ooh, PS- congrats on Auntie F... this is great news!

Alana!!!! Got nothing but prayers for you, sweets! AND, you will have EXTRA blessings tomorrow because it's my birthday... so that means that the sticky vibes I'm sending your way are EXTRA sticky and special. 80)

Heidi - I don't think miscarriages are ever easy on a person, ESPECIALLY after they've heard the heartbeat... it's like, after there's a heartbeat, it should be good... it should be smooth sailing from there... hell, I think after a positive beta, it should be good, but nobody's asking me. All I keep telling myself is that there had to be something very wrong with the embryo... something wasn't right. Genetically, physically, whatever... the baby wouldn't have been able to function normally and might have suffered greatly if I had carried full-term... it doesn't make it hurt any less... but it does help me look at it from a more scientific, clinical perspective which helps me to separate myself from the "Why me" depression... not entirely but helps. 80)

*sigh*

Off to bed now. 3.5 hours until "Happy birthday to ME!"

Nighty night!

[jencat215]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHELLY!!!

I couldn't wait until tomorrow. And you will have a RE consult in 2 days to boot!

(that is the closest party icon available!!!

[sunny72]

Jen, your DH is very sweet (especially the researching of the fertility stones part). If I drop enough hints, a lot of hints, I'll probably end up with one myself but will have to hint particularly about a necklace because somehow bracelets don't work for me. Actually I have a rose quartzy looking necklace but I suspect it's faux, so no relying on that one!!

Shelly, Happy Birthday for tomorrow you spring chicken!!

[sunny72]

Oh and DH bought me one of those large exercise balls the other day at my request. A medicine ball?? I have been using it quite a bit but refuse to look at the intructions on how to use it. I prefer to freestyle. I've been rolling around on it like a weird seal for a few days now. Hopefully I won't get tired of it and have it collect dust.