[designdiva32]

Its interesting what you said about the miscarriage happening on the day you flew Peachy, because I found out that the day my bean stopped growing was the exact day I had my first ultrasound....do you think an ultrasound could cause that to happen? I'm sure it was just a coincedence and I'm just being silly...but still....I can't stop wondering.

[JustPeachy]

I think the u/s is just using sound waves to produce a two dimensional picture so I don't know... we'll have to let the scientist JenCat answer that one. I don't think the sound waves could have caused any trauma. I had heard of the flying old wives tale before. I still don't know what to believe. I asked the OB about it again and she said she typically recommends flights for her patients between months 4-7 just b/c you're most comfortable, over m/s, and don't have to worry about the what-ifs anymore. I do know there is an airline stewardess on our forum and she chose to take a leave during her pregnancy b/c she had seen so many cases of miscarriages by co-workers. Definitely makes me wonder.... I know it's one of those scientific things where if it caused a m/c in everyone we would know but maybe some of us are more predisposed to issues with altitude/pressure changes? I just know the two little ones looked great 48 hours before...

[t2j]

You know it is funny you mentioned the whole flying thing. We did our FET on June 1st. On June 8th we got on a plane in CA and flew all the way to Guam....landing here on the 9th of June. I was a little scared, especially all the drama with them loosing our dog and such, and being on a plane for so long with very short lay overs. However, I think the pressure worked for me....sticking the embryo right to the wall. Or mybe it is what you said Peachy, just some people are more prone. I flew from Guam to Florida with my ds, and I was just 3 months along with him. My dd, I flew with her, however, I was more like six months along. That was just more uncomfortable.
Interesting though.

[sunny72]

Grrrrr, what is it with mother's and their silly comments. I just got off the phone with her and tried to explain my conflict of trying to figure out whether to do another cycle in September or wait until after November so we can all meet up. I didn't want to have to tell them about the next cycle because they weren't that enthusiastic about the first one. But because of this darn Hawaii thing, I felt like I had to explain that I'm not disinterested, I just have other things to consider. DH personally would prefer we keep up the momentum and try the FET sooner rather than later. She says "well, isn't there a chance it will happen naturally, I mean these things happen don't they". Grrrr.... that's not something you say to someone undergoing IF procedures. She has no clue. Yes our DD was a natural miracle, but after 6 years of trying to get pregnant we've only had one succesful pregnancy. Most people would have had 6 babies in that time. I think I know my situation. She had to hang up for something and told me she'd call tomorrow and I'm so wanting to ask her does she really think we'd put ourselves through this unless we thought it was neccesary. I mean I don't want to have to get into all the anatomical and physiological issues we have to be honest, but if she pushes me I might have to go there. Her comment might not seem like much, but if you know her like I do, it had an underlying message of disapproval or that I'm being impatient and if I left it up to nature it would happen. Well, I don't want to wait and see for another couple of years, I'd like to gain some sense of control in my life.

Okay, that feels better. Rant, rant.

[Shellyhume]

Augh... my mom is STILL feeding me these comments. Nope... wouldn't put myself through this voluntarily... sorry. But... in the interests of moms everywhere... she never dealt with this (I'm assuming from her comment) and is most likely trying to be supportive in whatever way she believes could be the best way. There are few women out there who would intentionally say something hurtful to their daughter who is suffering... so the best advice is to do whatever it takes to see the positive in every hurtful action.

I don't know if I posted it here or elsewhere... my mom called me the other day. Her first words to me were, "I'm stepping out in faith, Shel." I inquired as to what exactly she meant by that... and she said, "I just bought you a crib." Yep. She bought me a crib... for the baby I don't have. Now, on the one hand, scenario A, I could be incredibly offended... a month ago, I lost my second little beanie and here this woman is, rubbing it in my face that I have no little baby to fill that crib. On the other hand, scenario B, it feels empowering. My mom has so much faith in God and in my tenacity to get what I have longed for my whole life that she is willing to put money on it. I'm choosing to only look at scenario B because I know that my mother would never do anything to intentionally hurt me.

Again, best of luck with that. It's not an easy thing to deal with.

PS- Where in Boston are you? I'm just outside in Waltham.

[designdiva32]

Shelly, that is an amazing way to look at things, choosing scenario B over A. The next time my father (my mother passed a few years ago) suggests that he is 'a big fan of the natural way' which is what he would prefer we do despite the fact I have explained to him many times that either IUI or IVF are our only options, I might be able to control myself from killing him! Admittedly he lives a long way away in New Zealand and so doesnt really know our suffering....But still. Where do we get these people from??!! Oh thats right...we are related to them therefore they have the right to harrass us without thought! ARGH!!!!

On another note...Shelly, Jencat and Sunny....are you three going to meet for coffee or what!! You are all in Boston right now, so I want to see photos of you all together. Let me know how it goes.

[jencat215]

Sorry girls- conference started today, then we went to Hanover (little Italy) for dinner. It was SO cool. There were real Italian people, just like in the movies, playing bocci ball. I love those accents! And I crack up each time I see one of those public toilets! We walked back from dinner to our hotel-The Lenox. We took side trips down those alleys in the financial district. Really neat city.
Oh, get this. I ran into a girl I was in grad school with in Denver near Hanover. Last time I saw her she was still living in Denver. Apparently she moved back to Boston. I know NO ONE out here and out of this big city I run into her! How weird.

Okay, the conference is held at the Marriott Copley Place. The hotel is like a block or 2 away. Sunday I am at the conference from 8-1, then 3-6. Monday 8-6, and Tuesday 8-1, and Wednesday 8-12. I can meet whenever outside those times. It would be cool if the 3 of us could get together. Let me know how you want to work it. I have my cell, so I can send you the number. Wednesday afternoon we are renting a car then driving to the Cape (Orleans?) until Friday. We fly back Friday. I will check this before I leave tomorrow morning. Oh- I'll just send you guys my cell number.

U/S is just sound waves and can't harm an embryo or fetus. Flying early in pg really shouldn't have an effect either. Remember, early on the embryo is very tiny and is protected in your uterus. Many women fall, do things they shouldn't (like ski, bike, etc). The radiation risk from flying is so small that I would risk it. If your Hawaii trip will be a relaxing one, the benefit of de-stressing would far out weigh any radiation risk. Granted, I wouldn't be a flight attendant...they are exposed to much higher doses due to the constant traveling. Then again, I am probably exposed to much more radiation than you girls since I live a mile closer to the sun. But the effects/difference is minimal. I know lots of girls who worked with radiation in the lab (beta, gamma, and x-rays) and were pregnant and had successful pregnancies. It is just taking precautions. If you fly, don't sit next to the window, or if you do make sure you lower it. I found this on flying:

Radiation" is a terrifying word to expectant mothers, so you'll be glad to hear that plane travel is generally safe in this regard.

Whether we're on land or in the air, we're exposed every day to cosmic ionizing radiation, which emanates from the sun and other stars. On the ground, the Earth's atmosphere offers some protection from the radiation. At high altitudes, the air is thinner and radiation levels are somewhat higher, but they're not usually high enough to be of concern to the occasional traveler.
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Radiation levels can be a lot higher, though, during solar flares — bursts of electromagnetic radiation caused by disturbances in the sun's atmosphere. Fortunately, solar flares are rare and last only a short while.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration posts solar radiation storm alerts on its Web site. Some experts recommend that pregnant women check the site before flying and consider postponing their trip a day or two if a storm is forecast.

Some experts think that cosmic radiation could pose a small risk to flight crews and frequent fliers, and there is ongoing research to assess these risks. In some countries, pregnant crew members are reassigned to low-altitude flights or given jobs on the ground for the duration of their pregnancies. But for infrequent air travelers, pregnant or not, the risk from cosmic ionizing radiation under normal solar conditions is considered negligible.



Anyway, I gotta get some sleep so I can (try) to stay awake tomorrow!!!

[Shellyhume]

Ooh... Monday or Tuesday evening works for me. The best place to visit is, of course, Faneuil Hall Marketplace... that's where Cheers is. You know, where everybody knows your name... they don't really... but it's still nice to visit. 80) It's just 15 minutes away from the Mariott if you get on the T at the Back Bay station inbound, take the orange line to the State Street station. Give me a call sometime today (I sent you my number) and we'll make it official. Talk to you soon!

PS- There are two major ethnicities you'll find in Boston... Italian or Irish (Unless you're in Chinatown.). Neither of which "get along" (playfully most times, of course) but both love the Sox. I'm Irish myself and I love that dirty water. 80)

[sunny72]

Shelly, I am south of Boston, not far from the Tweeter Center. Tuesday would work for me, but am flexible. Maybe I should PM Auburn girl, she's in the Boston area too. And Hopeful2bmom is in Providence, but she may commute here?? I'll drop them a line.

[jencat215]

Tuesday would be great! Sunny-the more the merrier! Auburn Girl and Hopeful2bmom would be great to meet as well. Conference is a bit better today-vendors set up so lots of free stuff!!!

Gotta go back...

[Shellyhume]

Tuesday works for me. Any idea where ya'll would like to meet? Does Cheers work for everyone?

Sunny- sounds great.

[Tracey23]

Thanks everyone for the support. DH and I just got back from a mini holiday and we talked a bit about how I was feeling and what we wanted to do. We are going to continue to try, but we may wait until next year now as I really need to go home to see my family in Australia. I have to say that after my first completed cycle and how I felt when af arrived that I didn't expect it and it has made me think of my son all over again. My pg was an accident at first, DH and I hadn't been together long, and I had just moved to Canada, I literally moved here in the May of 01 and by June I was pg. But after a problem free 12 wks I started to relax and enjoy my morning sickness. Yes I did enjoy it, but that only happened after I heard the heartbeat and understood that if he needed me to be sick, then sick I was going to be, I actually lost 14lbs when I wa pg, so for me that was the best diet available. At 16wks I had really bad cramps which was diagnosed as a stage 3 bladder infection which was treated with IV antibiotics, and after 2 wks I got the all clear only to discover at 21wks when I went into labor that I have an incompetent cervix, my labor lasted 36 hrs and that was the worst pain that I have ever been in. I had 3 epidurals and the longest pain relief that I had was 2 hrs, I had the drs amazed, as it was clear to them thatmy son didn't want to be born, but they couldn't get the contractions to end, I was 4cm dilated and that was as far as I got even at delivery. By the end when they realized that he wasn't going to make it, I was being given morphine every 15mins to help with the pain. As you can imagine, I don't remember much of that and the days to follow, he was born alive, and I was holding him when he dies 2 hrs later and we did have a funeral for him, but I didn't really remember much of that until recently, which is why I was almost decided against trying to have a baby after my last cycle. I actually talked to a friend of mine who is a therapist and she told me all it takes is a relatively minor event to unlock feelings like that, but now that I remember what happened I can deal with it, and when I feel I am ready to try again I will be hopefully in a better place to deal with disappointment if it comes. Sorry for the long post here, I should have opeded my own thread, but I appreciate people listening and I have to say for all you ladies who have had multiple mc, I think you are the most amazing women around. I was told how I reacted to my son's death and I have informed the family if I go through 1 more mc, doesn't matter what stage, I will never go through another pg as it almost destroyed my marriage and it has caused me a lot of emothional problems, which I am now dealing with. After reading some of your stories I have realised that we have a strength that we don't know even exists, otherwise how could we go through these losses and still be willing to put ourselves in that position again. Like some you, I am now keeping the idea of a baby firmly in my mind, I know that I will have a child one day, I just hope that I don't have to go through anymore losses again in order to have my dream fulfilled. My prayers are with you all and I hope that everything works out for you and that you never have to go through heartbreak again.

[Angelwithhope]

Sorry I havne't been around ladies! And Hi Sunny!!

My SIL flew right after her FET to Spain, was in 40 C heat and came home pregnant with twins. They are now four months old.

Anyways, I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!!

i don't have much to say...lol...just gearing up to head back to the clinic at the end of the month!

[designdiva32]

What you had to go through Tracey truly breaks my heart and you are an amazing, brave lady! I have so much respect for you and I also have no doubt you will have your healthy little one and will be a wonderful mother. If you don't mind me asking, was there a reason for the incompetent cervix? I only ask because I've had a LEEP in the passed and now a D&C so I'm just wondering it these things might cause such a thing. I'm guessing for your next pregnancy they will give you a cerclage? I think I would want one just for peace of mind. Oh, and by the way....one of my fat spaniels is called Snoopy...I always loved that cartoon!

Jencat, I am so glad you are a scientist, you always help to clear up our paranoid questions about things like flying etc. Without you we'd all be walking around throwing salt over our sholders and sleeping with crystals under our pillows! I am so jealous you are all going to meet up for coffee....so can one of you PLEASE bring a digital camera and send us all the pics? That would be some amazing memories to see!

[jencat215]

I have my digital camera-don't worry.
Oh, and I do toss spilled salt over my shoulder and I did have DH call for that St. Gerard stuff (hasn't arrived yet-but hopefully will while I am gone) and I am not even a christian!!!! I am a scientist, but having a little luck (got lucky bamboo at work) doesn't hurt.

Waiting for Sunny and Shelly to call. I think we are going to go to Cambridge tonight for dinner/sightseeing...