[texasgirl]

Hi ladies,

I know it's been a while and so much has happened that I think I need to read all the pages.

I have a major dilemma and I desperately need the advice of ladies that can fully understand. This might be a little lengthy w/ all the background info (sorry).

After the m/c in dec I got put on bcp and have since had a normal cycle. Now, I am lucky enough to have benefits to cover a big chunk of another ivf, but I HATE working for my new boss....I am so miserable & it's depressing. She's needy, overbearing, high maintenance..I could tell you some stories!! So, if I sign up for the next cycle I have to stay here until april & I don't think I can handle that. The other factor is that when we did get preggers, it as on our own & that was the 1st and only month we have ever tried after my surgeries to remove the fibroids. So, dh says that if everything is working, why not try again before jumping to ivf and this way I'm not tied to this job. It makes sense, but I feel like maybe I should take advtg of the benefits b/c I'd hate to regret it later. At the same time, I know I'd be miserable & stressed, but it might be worth it. I mean you guys know how precious every cycle is & waiting for ivf seems like wasted time, but you do increase your odds (even though there's always the reminder that it didn't work last time). Does this make sense? WWYD? Please be honest.

Last factor - my beta is not back at 0 yet & I'm only on day 2 of my new bcps, so I'm thinking of stopping them and trying again this cycle. I just wonder if I'll ov if I still have a little hcg in my system..maybe I should just stay on the bcp. Ugh!! Calgon, take me away!!!! There are too many options.

Thanks for reading.

[JustPeachy]

Hi Diva! i see you there. You doing ok today? Did you do another beta today?

[GRITS]

Rachel, you can check your local health food store, or didn't you say you have a Whole Foods Market? I believe you can get it in a tea form. They actually have a specific tea for nursing moms with fennel in it. I bet you can use it in addition to your pills if you ask your Dr. And tea can be soothing in itself.

Jen, it sounds like your DH cooks like mine. The food is fabulous, but the cleanup is barely worth it!

Shawna, I definitely would not give up either. 8 dpo is early. I will watching for you poas report each morning!

SHelly I am glad I am not the only one not finding out. I have to admit though part of me wants to find out accidentally!

Susan, I was thinking that too! I have never paid that little for scallops! LOL

Lisa, I have to say, I would go for the natural cycle. I would only use IVF if you knew you could not do it on your own. And since it would allow you to quit your job and be more calm and happy that is even more of a reason to go natural. So I would quit my job and plan a conception moon.

Alana, wha is the scoop today?

[JustPeachy]

Thanks Brenna! We do have a Whole Foods near by so I'll take a look there. Hopefully, the tea form is decaf. I haven't had any caffiene in a year now although we'll see how long I can hold out on the coffee now. My motivation is I'm afraid it'll keep Aiden awake too.

Lisa - I would be tempted to go forward with the ivf but this is coming from someone that had to self pay for the cycle. It is such a huge expense if you need it. I'm sure you know but with the endo the longer you are off bcp and trying to get pregnant the worse your endo can be spreading. So, the quicker the process the better. I know I will be going back on bcp in another month just to keep my endo at bay. It's a tough decision but you've been trying for 3 years now so I think I would be ready for the next step.

[ara79]

hi ladies...i have a quick sec to post! yay!

lisa, that is a very tough decision. i think both of the ladies have very valid points. take some time to think about it and then only you can decide. sorry, i'm not much help...but that would be a toughie for me too.

how is everyone else?

shawna, 8dpo is still early, i am not giving up yet!

jen, your dh makes me laugh!

hope everyone is having a good day. fyi...my work friend hasn't spoken to me yet. weird.

[AviatrixRN]

Lisa...I think I vote for the natural cycle too..although it is a tough choice. Another factor to consider is how stressed out you are at work..from what I have read/heard, stress plays a part in infertility too.

Amy..What is up with that woman? Doesn't she know how cool you are? Poor judgement in my opinion!

Good morning Brenna and Rach!

[Angelwithhope]

Lisa- Coming from another person who has to pay for their own IVF. I'd keep my job. Be polite but avoid her as much as possible. (Hard when it's your boss I know, been there done that!) However, stress does play a role. Also, follow your doctors ordrers, if they said no TTC for three months, do so. You need time to heal both physically and emotionally Sweetie!!

Amy- Time to not consider her a friend any longer? Seems like just too much to be worth it in my opinion. Really seems like my mother's sister! Sorry hun!

Brenna- You're too cute!!

You all are. I had a temp drop this morning. Sigh! Please dont' let this be it. I didn't even bother to POAS this morning, I was a bit down...didn't want to see another negative. The good news though is that it did not drop below my cover line so maybe implantation? I'm probably setting myself up for a world of hurt here. *Sigh* Oh well! LOL

Hi to the rest of you fabulous ladies!

[ara79]

lisa,
we aren't much help, huh! we got 2 votes for each choice and 1 undecided!

[jencat215]

Shawna...stop testing. I thought you were further along in your 2ww. Wait until 12dpo. You'll just drive yourself nuts

Lisa-I am going to be of no help here. On one hand, I see your point with the insurance. I am having that dilema myself. I work in a volitale field and who knows how long my company will be in business. But on the other hand, like do like my job and I don't feel over stressed about it. I think the stress would be a major factor for me. I would probably leave the job, TTC on my own while looking for another job with similar or better benefits. Going through IVF is going to be pretty major, with lots of appointments and everything. You really don't need extra added stress. But if you need IVF, then how bad would it be if you stuck it out?
What are your current beta levels? How could you have a normal cycle if your levels aren't back to 0? Strange.
I probably just made it more confusing for you. Sorry. Just know we are here for you

Amy-what IS wrong with that crazy woman???

[Angelwithhope]

Jen- FYI, we've already established that I'm crazy! LOL

[texasgirl]

Thank you so much. It's just not easy to expalin all the factors to non-if people, ya know? And, on the contrary, you are always so helpful and that's why I needed your feedback before making a final decision.

Beta is less than 100, but not 0 & that's why they suggest we wait another cycle, but I REALLY don't want to.

As far as staying here, I'm thinking that is probabaly not realistic. I am completely miserable that it's making my blues even bluer. Ugh, it's so much to consider that my head is spinning.

...Still catching up on pages I missed - wow, lots to read.

Sticky vibes to all.

[ara79]

ok, all is well w/ co-worker. she told me she realizes that she needs to work on letting things go, forgiving more quickly and not being so sensitive. i told her okee-dokee! friendship is fun, no drama!

[Angelwithhope]

Lisa, you won't be able to try again until your numbers are at 0 hun. You're body is still acting like it's pregnant as long as you're beta is up there. You'll have to wait hun!

[designdiva32]

Originally Posted by JustPeachy

Hi Diva! i see you there. You doing ok today? Did you do another beta today?

Hey Rachael, Brenna and everyone else. Thanks for checking up on me.

I'm doing okay, have a few weepy moments but other than that I'm getting through it as best I know how. Lots of comfort food and CSI reruns!! lol. Seriously though, DH and I both know from past experience (ugh..I never had a clue I'd end up a 'habitual miscarrier' when I started this journey!) that low rising betas for us is a garanteed m/c. But we are going to keep doing the betas etc as we are actually hoping the pregnancy grows enough for them to do some testing on. My RE wants to see if its another chromosome issue as she may be sending us to a geneticist if it is. It also pushes us all quicker into IVF/PGD, which until now I've been a bit reluctant to think about seriously.

Anyway, so thats me in a nutshell...stuck in limbo!

Shawna hun, while I might be a poas-pusher, I don't want you peeing your way into a nervous breakdown there! Do what Jen suggested and poas in a few days...its WAY too early to give up.

Hi Lisa, I'm with the other girls, stick with natural until you really need IVF. At least for this first cycle maybe. Although its doubtful you would ovulate with a beta above 5 anyway, so as Shawna mentioned maybe sit this one out? I know how hard it is...I've had 3-4 months between all my m/cs except the second one where I jumped in the first cycle and to this day regret it. I wasn't ready at all. Good luck either way.

Hi everyone else. I'm going to go and pick my puppies up from the dog groomers. I love it when they come back from there. They have less fur and they smell so nice they get squished to death...by me of course.....I love big fat cuddly puppies!

[Angelwithhope]

I just watched "The Cure" and bawled my face off. RIP Brad Renfro. That is one of the best movies of all times...that and Simon Birch.