[hopeful2bmom]

peanut butter, rasberry preserves or just plain old butter. I just can't get ino the vegimite!!! Although avocado with vegimite might be good!

[designdiva32]

I wanted to ask you girls a question. Do you think this post is now offending people who are dealing with new miscarriages? I would really hate to think we are upsetting them in anyway, especially when we all know only too well how they are feeling. I only ask because now I have a BFP and I wonder if that might upset them. What do you think? Personally I don't feel ready to graduate to any other thread. I still feel very much like a miscarrige victim....its still so fresh in my heart. But I could understand other women now feeling a little annoyed. Any thoughts?

[GRITS]

Alana, I am so excited for you!!!
You are officially You brought tears to my eyes too. We need some s around here!

Shawna , I am sure you are just inflamed from all the attention down there. If your Dr. was worried you would know more quickly. Since he does not seem to worried I do not think you should.

Rachel rest up ,and I hope you get well soon.

Susan, I bet it feels good to be planning again.

Jen, how are you hanging? Did you piac yet? LOL I know it is too early.........

Hi Ronnie, Yeah for no more bcp!!!

[GRITS]

Alana, I do not think at this stage this thread is not appropriate. We are still recovering and I think if anything it can bring hope and show those with a new loss how we have overcome. I think that is a good thing. in time I can see how it might be better to relocate. Hopefully to a due date thread, but we are not there yet. I guess we could move back to the IVF board.............Something to think about......what does everyone else think?

[Angelwithhope]

Thanks Ladies!!! I really appreciate the kind and encouraging words!!

Alana- don't you go anywhere Sweetie!! You have had a miscarriage and regardless of wether or not you're pregnant now, that doesnt change! Your pressence here gives us all hope in my eyes! And if you go away from this thread, I'll come and bring you back!!!

[designdiva32]

I'll move if anyone else thinks we should. I'm with you though Brenna. Its still so fresh the pregnancy loss for all of us that maybe others will see our little journey and take some comfort that others go through this too. Anyone else think we should relocate?

Shawna, I just read your thread, you beat me to it. You are such a sweetie for saying that! I definately don't want to go anywhere. I'm not comfortable moving to the due-dates etc for quite some time. I'm just not ready so I'm so glad to see you still want me here. You can't leave either though okay? Feel free to lurk, but don't leave completely or I'm heading out to Calgary to come and get you!

[sunny72]

Morning all,

Well there is so much going on in the posts that I don't know where to start.

Again, so happy Alana.

Susan, I'm glad you are seeing a new RE and get a difference prospective/new set of eyes. I really hope you get to use your own eggs and if you don't, well, Alana is right, you are going to get a kitchen full of kids one way or another. They'll never go hungry. My poor daughter only eats gourmet when DH is cooking otherwise she snacks on 5 minute meals made in one pot with me!!

Shawna, like the others said, it may just be an infection. I'm sorry you are suffering emotionally and physically. It's just another thing you didn't need right now.

Jen, your iguana seems like a hoot. Before we moved into our first appartment together, my SIL just moved out and had lost an iguana up there. It just escaped one day and never came back. For the whole time I was there I expected a frail iguana to come out of the floorboards or something.

Rachael, sorry you have the sniffles. Yuck I'm not looking forward to winter.

Hi everyone else!!! Sorry, I tried to retain as much info over the last few days but I only have limited brain space.

I don't think I mentioned the visit we had to have with FIL's new family. I'll try and make this brief as I know it's not IF related. He walked out on my MIL over two years ago (just after two of his grandchildren were born). Typical mid-life crisis. He disappeared for a couple of years somewhat, just emails, before finding out he had a new person in his life who's my age and the same age as his own daughter and also some step children. The worst part of all this was that he didn't clue in MIL and just kept her hanging on to the hope that he'd return at some time. So we had to meet them for the first time. Awkward!!!! Especially because MIL is still trying to get her life together, I felt like a traitor. I was just going along with what DH and his brother wanted to do. Everything was going smoothly until they put on there really cheesy wedding cruise video. Talk about too soon and slightly inappropriate. Also, no photos of his family or grandchildren in the house, just large glamor shots of the new family. Strange, but neccesary visit I guess. One more little vent. He totally blows off the grandchildren's birthdays, at least my little girls. When we got there he gave her and her cousin a Webkin each because his new family are all OBSESSED with them. Even he has his own??????????????????? Then I have MIL asking me lots of questions about it and wanting me to be the inside info source. Yikes.

(Now I hope he and wife aren't having IF issues and she'll stumble onto this post) ........paranoid.......

Moving on.....AF showed yesterday. She's been brutal. RE's office told me I'm not officially CD1 until Friday as I have to work with the embryologist's schedule. They only thaw twice a month I think she said. All of a sudden it's becoming overhwhelming.

I guess we could relocate somewhere else? what is Forum Friends about? But we could also have a thread here related to our losses? I would hate to loose you guys in the shuffle though.

[hopeful2bmom]

I am so afraid of losing you girls that I am avoiding the question of moving to another board. I am still very much in the hanging out stage so I don't know where I belong...

[jencat215]

I don't think we have to move anywhere. Just like due date buddies who got pg at the same time, we all suffered losses about the same time. I think people who have suffered a recent loss come on and lurk and hopefully some of our posts on this thread give them some sort of hope and healing. Hey, we even occasionally get a new buddy that we can support into our group. This thread has turned from all of our tragedies to new beginnings. I don't want to lose any of you cause you guys are my biggest support .
Alana your BFP just gives all of us hope. Eventually you will find your way to April? May? due date buddies, but like Rachael, don't forget us! One by one we will all creep over to a due date buddies thread, but I feel good knowing that we can all meet up here for some virtual coffee...decaf, of course.

Also, stop apologizing (all of you!) for the long threads and off topic bits. I love that we get to know each other better by not just concentrating on our losses. I love that we support each other through new RE visits and new plans. And I have plenty to say about your FIL Heidi!!! It is a strange position being put in between your in-laws. Besides, if anyone is guilty of long posts and off topic bits, it is ME!!!

Shawna-sorry about your cervical issue. It does sound like an infection, which is common. Cervical cancer is caused by the virus HPV. They would find odd cells on a pap and you would know. There are over 100 strains of HPV and most just cause warts or are asymptomatic. Only a few are known to cause cancer. But, with proper gyne checkups, you can prevent cancer from ever occuring. I have a friend from grad school who had 3 or 4 of the highly 'cancerous' strains and she had to go to get a pap every 3 months, had LEEP, biopsies, etc. for a year or so, never got cancer, and wound up having a baby.

Yummm toast before bed. With a little butter and salt.

Yay Heidi for getting AF! Now things will start happening. Why do they only thaw 2x a month?

Hey Grits! I do have some sticks calling my name, but I am probably only 6 days post ovulation so I don't want to go there just yet.

DH just pulled Maggie out of a bin full of winter hats. Apparently she crawled into it last night and slept there. She is such a strange pet.

Alright, I gotta get ready for work. Short day as I have the chiropractor, dentist, and an appt at 4pm for happy hour for an old collegue who is in town...luckily the place as caffiene-free diet coke on the fountain.

And no one leaving here or I will personally come to drag you back

[GRITS]

Well, I think it is agreed.......we are not going anywhere!

Sunny, that stinks with the in-laws! How awkward. And I thought dealing with mine who do not like each other was awkward. I even asked mil this week (she has been here over a week while fil is out of town with DH) if she even liked him at all because she never acts like it, she is always *****ing at him and acting like she hates him. I told her that too. In a nice way of course! She swears she does. I told her she should act like it on occasion.
O.K. there is my in-law story!
I hope it gets easier for all of you.
And yeah for AF!!!!

[jencat215]

Hi Shelly- how are you?

[Shellyhume]

Woah... Alana... I was feeling exactly the same way the last time... the lady said, "Congratulations, you are pregnant." and all I could say was, "Okay, when do you want me to come in for my second beta?" in as flat a voice as you've ever heard... I didn't care what my initial number was... I cared that it was doubling like it ought to. Once I found out the third number was still doubling, I was excited. I went and told my whole ENTIRE family at Sabbath dinner... and two days later found out that it was tubal. Grr. So, NOW... I'm not telling ANYONE ('cept you girls, of course) until I start to show... and I mean it. When I start to show, I believe I will start to "feel" pregnant and allow myself to really enjoy it... so don't feel badly that you're protecting yourself... in fact, it's imperative that you do. And as for moving? I think of this thread as family... we welcome new members... but once you're in, you're family. If you go on to another thread, you'd still be family. If you stop posting all together, you're still family... and when your little sprout is born, he/she will be family, too. So... you're stuck with us. 80)

Jen - Always wanted a reptile like an iguana... ooh, or a bearded dragon... ALWAYS wanted a bearded dragon. But, with my two very large, very needy kitties, I don't think a reptile would fare well. 80)

Susan - sometimes a move is just what a person needs to be successful... that's what I'm praying for. Dr. Summers was kind of pompous when we met with him in Worcester... and didn't make me feel very good. When I met with him in Lexington, he was getting us to laugh and was really congenial and caring. I think the move was good for him, too. On another note... you can cook?! Please, oh please tell me your secret. I grew up with just my mom and she wasn't a cook. Yeah, she'd make the occasional meal here and there but it was usually a bowl of cereal or raviolis or one of those lipton pasta meals for me... and now that's really all I can make (when I don't burn the water.). Well, mom went off and married a chef and solved her problem... so I went and did the same. DH isn't a chef professionally but boy can he cook. My thing, though, is I want to be all domestic and do the cooking thing so I can cook for my babies... but everytime I get in the kitchen, DH comes in and takes over. Grr. I keep yelling at him that i have to learn to do this and can't learn if he does it for me. But I digress...

Rachael - hope the sniffles clear up. I can deal with a cough, deal with a fever, deal with pain even... but if I can't breathe from my nose, I'm a miserable lump of witch. Take lots of Vitamin C... but I'm sure you've heard that.

Shawna - look at you being "glass-half-empty" over there... don't expect the worst because if the worst ever happens, you will still get all depressed thinking "figures the worst would happen to me." Believe me... I kept saying that to myself with my first ectopic and it didn't help bring my spirits up at all. Don't have any expectations at all. Just concentrate on treating it like a piece of information that is being processed with many different outcomes in mind. Be indifferent. Like Grits said, if it were really really serious, they wouldn't be waiting two or three weeks to find out what your issue is. Keep your chin up, sweets... we've got all kinds of cyber for you!

Heidi - woohoo on AF!!! Weird they won't call it cd1 til friday, though... even weirder that they can control that. You're going through RSC? If so, they never mentioned the thaw thing being only 2xs a month... that's information I would have liked to have... hmm. But all that aside... the courage to get back up after infertility has knocked you down has to come from Someone so much bigger and greater than any one of us and if you continue to trust that He has a plan for you, you can survive anything. Hugs and prayers for peace of mind and soul.


...how's that for a long post?

[Shellyhume]

Hi Jen... I'm feeling empowered. You?

[designdiva32]

OMG...thank goodness you girls don't want to move threads either!! I only put the suggestion out there in case anyone was starting to feel a little annoyed at us moving on with treatments, getting BFP's etc. But once I typed those words I regretted it. You girls, as Shelly put it, are my family! So thats definately settled then, no moving on by anyone.

[designdiva32]

Originally Posted by Shellyhume

So, NOW... I'm not telling ANYONE ('cept you girls, of course) until I start to show... and I mean it. When I start to show, I believe I will start to "feel" pregnant and allow myself to really enjoy it... so don't feel badly that you're protecting yourself... in fact, it's imperative that you do.

Thanks hun. You definately get where I'm coming from. Its all about protecting ourselves as everyone on this thread has learnt the heart-breaking way that a BFP does not always mean a baby. A sad but true fact. So getting attached to this pregnancy just seems silly and a luxury I can't afford. In fact, I've already decided not to have any early ultrasound tests done unless absolutely necessary. They can tell just fine with the bloodwork if its viable or going to miscarry and its alot harder to get emotionally attached to a beta number.

Sometimes I truly think all this advanced technology just makes us suffer more than we would have in the past. My MIL told me after the miscarraige that in her day women who had early miscarriages like we have would have just assumed their periods were very late and were heavier because of that. There was no devastating ultrasound saying it had stopped growing or had no heartbeat. I mean, why on earth do they do ultrasounds before theres a heartbeat anyway?? Isn't that just additional stress? Unless theres a problem with the bloodwork, why not wait until the heartbeat definately should be there??