[tcrsmom]

This just seems like a cruel joke... to find nothing but an empty gestational sac and degenerating yolk sac and betas going up. My RE is giving me a week to naturally miscarry and then cytotec vaginally after Mondays u/s if I need it. I just wish he would do the D & C so I can get on with this. He said he prefers not to do them and 9 out of 10 times he won't do them. It just seems cruel that again it is out of my control. Everytime I go to the bathroom I am hoping for spotting and nothing!! The nurse says naturally miscarrying is way better than the cytotec painwise so I keep hoping and wishing it would move along. The longer it takes the longer before I can attempt to move on....sorry just rambling on...

[missjoli]

I'm so sorry to hear you have to go through this. I wish your doctor would give you the choice between miscarrying naturally and a D&C, but I'm sure he has his reasons. It is really hard to sit and wait for the inevitable to happen. I didn't miscarry naturally, so I don't have any advice to offer. Please know that I am thinking about you during this difficult time.

[lovingwife]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Did the doctor give you a medical reason why he won't perform the D & C? If he doesn't have a good medical reason, I would insist on one if that is what you want. When I had my miscarriage, I wanted the D & C asap in order to move on. Is there maybe another doctor in the practice you could speak to? I changed doctors after I found out I was pregnant and the first doctor had a really bad attitude towards my pregnancy. I ended up miscarrying, but I'm so glad I was with a doctor I felt comfortable with. He scheduled my D & C the day after we found out. There is nothing wrong with getting a second opinion(do you have an OB/GYN that you could make an appt. with?). Keep us updated. I know what you're going through and my heart goes out to you and DH.

[sunny72]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. So many of us here understand.

I can tell you that I think in hindsight I wish I had waited and miscarried naturally (but then again the waiting for an undetermined time would have killed me also). My ob-gyn encouraged me to go the cytotec route and it was very traumatic for me. It happened within hours of her inserting the medicine and I was in shock at how fast things started to happen. Unfortunately, I bleed heavily for weeks after with some complications, and so I insisted I have the D&C because I couldn't emotionally heal with all the bleeding and cramps. After that, if was such a relief of sorts and some closure.

There are pros and cons to the D&C. Some people do have bad complications and I understand that is why they prefer you to go naturally.

Again, I'm really sorry.

[Angelwithhope]

I'm sorry for your loss. I took mistoprotal for my natural miscarriage. It was hell, but I wouldn't do an D&C because I worry abotu scar tissue. Perhaps this is what your doctor is thinking too. Again i'm so sorry for your loss, at this time words are not enough.

[bd711]

Oh, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Yes, it's cruel. I had a "missed miscarriage" 2 Junes ago, and I had to wait over a week for my d&c. I kept hoping my body would handle it on its own - wishing and wishing for bleeding each time I went to the bathroom.

I don't really understand how some doctors insist on doing d&cs and others practically refuse. I know when it's early enough on (less than 8 weeks I think), they can do a d&c in a much less scarring fashion - with vacuum aspiration. But each doctor has their own reasons for doing what they do, it seems.

I hope your body catches up with what your mind and heart already know. Again, I'm sorry for your loss and hope that this week brings you some peace.

[charms]

Lisa - I am so sorry you are going through this - definatley seek a second opinion.

not to scare you, but one of the other ladies here, waited and waited, until she was in pain and they did an emergecy d&c and found that the baby had implanted in the tube very close to the ovary. she lost the tube and almost lost her life.

there is the possibility that your Beta continues to rise, because the 2nd embryo implanted somewhere else.

good luck and i will keep you in my prayers.

[Rachel38]

I read your post and cried because in so many ways, we are all suffering our own cruel battles. My sister went through something similar while abroad and actually flew back to the states knowing that a DNC was inevitable if it did not work itself out. These battles seem so unfair. Yours seems to be one of the hardest. My prayers and thoughts are with you. If you ever want to talk via PM, please do so. I feel for you. God Bless and hopefully it will work itself out.

[Kay]

I am so sorrry for your loss.
Kay