[cbrink7]

Hi everyone. I posted about a month ago about losing my boys, Luke and Brandt, due to an incomp. cervix at 20 weeks. I wanted to thank everyone again for the love and support that you all gave my family and me. It really meant everything to not feel so alone.

6 weeks later some things are getting back to normal. I can actually make is through some days without falling to bits, although there are some really bad days of utter sorrow. We had our angels cremated and their ashes put in a beautiful baby shoe. We also had necklaces made with their footprints which I will cherish forever along with their pictures and other things. We are keeping all of their clothes and things, as I do not think I will ever be able to give them up. We are also making a memory chest for them. I have been doing a lot of reading and also working with a thearpist to make sure that I am grieving properly because for me it was very easy to get lost in it.

We had our 6 week appointment yesterday with a new doctor who was wonderful. We talked for about 30 minutes with her, and she really put my mind at ease, and is willing to do just about anything to help us. Although I am still not ready to make a decision about our future, I do feel like there will actually be one, and maybe even an okay one.

Sorry I have been MIA while I picked up the pieces, but I know you all understand.

Thank you all again so much for everything!

[Justine]

Hi Catherine,

Glad you're up to coming back and that the appt was promising for you. Reading your message was scary for me as I'm pregnant with twins as well. Wanted to welcome you back and wish you the best in your next treatment attempt.

[lovingwife]

Oh Catherine. Your story is so heart wrenching. It brought me to tears. I'm so glad to hear that you are able to pick up the pieces and that you are seeking counseling. The necklaces and baby shoe sound so beautiful. Glad you're back with us.

[kblythe]

Catherine,

It sounds like you are beginning to heal from what was certainly one of the most devastating circumstances I can imagine. I pray that your healing journey continues and that each day your future looks brighter and brighter.

Kathryn.

[jana]

It sounds to me that you are a strong woman and that you are doing everything you need to do to put yourself together. I think it is beautiful the way you are honoring your children. God be with you.

[jmcrane]

Catherine, I want to reach out and just hug you. You seem to be a very strong woman in heart and soul. Just take your time and be easy.
I too am glad that your doctor was nice and understanding. You will know what your future brings soon I am sure.
Good Luck and welcome back.

[sunshineshimmers]

I wish you all the love, luck and success. I completely understand about you being MIA. I am glad that the appt. with the new Dr was successful.
hugs n love,

[sunny72]

Thanks for dropping by and giving us an update on how you are. I hope you can continue to heal as time goes by.

[BabySteps]

Welcome back Catherine, Words can not describe how sorry I am for the loss you have suffered. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you begin a new chapter.

[blessings]

Catherine,

So nice to hear from you. I am glad that you are feeling better. I also put all of my cherished baby items in a memory box. I am still working with a therapist but I feel strong enough now that I can begin wean myself .I will pray for your continued strength.
Hugs

Isabella

[nalongo]

catherine, this is the very 1st time for me to visit this thread altho' i have been posting diligently on others. we just lost our twin boys only 4 days ago, so for us it's still too early. our loss has a lot in common with yours b'se we lost ours at 21 wks, but the reason was not clear. dh and i decided that we move to fet since we have 4 frozen embryos. i know exactly how you feel, coz am going thru' the same experience. our friends and family have really comforted us and given us hope. i pray that you will be fine. God bless.

[jenedens6102]

Catherine, of course we can understand you being MIA. What is most important right now is you taking care of YOU. Grieving is a process that isn't the same for everyone, for some it's quick and for other's it takes more time. Our cousin lost her son one week after birth (he was term) and at my baby shower this past weekend she was hit with another wave of grief and sorrow missing her son. I don't blame her, in fact I asked her if she even wanted to come because I figured it would be hard. It's difficult enough as one going through infertility, let alone someone who has experienced a loss.

[jmcrane]

nalongo, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could take all the pain and sorrow away. Will put you and your family on my prayer list. May God hold you tight in your time of need.

Catherine, We are sending prayers and special little sayings up to heaven above for u and your family.

[Czech_Girl]

Speaking from my own experience, healing takes time. It sounds like you are doing well with the grieving and healing process.

We lost our twin girls at just shy of 21 weeks. It took me some time to not fall apart every day. We still have the nursery furnitue (in storage now) that we kept, but I returned all of the other baby items - it was too difficult for me to look at. I admire your strength in keeping the baby items. I purchased two beautiful porcelin baby shoe Christmas tree ornaments and had silver tags created w/the girls' names, to be placed on our tree every year. We'll always cherish our beautiful girls, just as you will always cherish your boys. I wish you well on your road to recovery and renewal - 2008 will be a wonderful year for all of us!

[Neta]

Welcome back,
glad to hear your appointment went well, we all mourn different ways each one unique to us, my prayers are with you and DH, Stay focused on a greater cause, 1 of the other forums a young lady mentioned something about God choosing baby sitters for our babies until we see them again, I thought this was awesome to think that 1 day we will see our loved ones again so take heart in knowing you are still blessed indeed.