A wonderful man I love very much told me he felt distressed because he saw how I suffered and just had no clue how to help. He felt unable to identify with my situation and worried that he could do nothing to help me cope. I pondered that, and here is my response:

All I need..... is to be allowed to feel my pain when it hits me, and to cope the best I can.... to get hugs and support when I need it... and I guess sometimes I crave validation for other aspects of my life.... so I don't feel like an incomplete being. (because I can't conceive) It can't be "fixed' and it isn't broken.... but it must be faced at times and those times usualy leave me feeling alone, worthless, and afraid. Now, you can't take away my condition, but you are VERY good at helping me feel loved, important, and secure. How about that?

he said that would work, and I must say, it does. =)

You summed it up nicely!!

There is a good article on another thread in this forum called "Infertility Etiquette" that explains some of the do's and, more importantly, don'ts that our loved ones need to know.

If this man is very close to you and wants to understand more, there is a GREAT book called "Infertility: A Survival Guide for Couples and Those Who Love Them" by Cindy Lewis Dake. The author provides addition insights after each chapter for the loved ones of people strugging w/infertility. Education is key to surviving this difficult time.

- Faith

[embroider]

That sounds perfect! I have discussed our infertility with several close friends and family members and I know alot of times- they aren't really educated on what we are going through. So I explain whenever I can. I figure if preggos can discuss every aspect of their pregnancy and birth- why can't I share my journey?

In my discussions I actually helped 3 other friends come to terms with their own infertility- and I have even diagnosed a few with PCOS. A little knowledge goes a long way!