[JessStillWaits]

Reading these posts has really helped me today. I just discovered today we had a chemical pregnancy 3 months after our last m/c and 3 years since we started trying.

There is just part of me that feels this will never ever work, and days where I just want to give up. Other days like today, I feel that life is so unfair and cruel even.

And there is another part of me that feels like keep fighting, we are finding out more information.

Today I wrote up a list of things I want to explore with my doctor, and you ladies helped me add some things to my list. At this point, I would pay out of pocket for some answers. And I am finally ready to explore IVF.

So on this day of devastation for me personally, I thank you so much for giving some strength and some hope. And also to see I am not alone. And to remind myself to advocate for myself.

[maggiemay]

B1ZZIE: Good Luck in Sept! I really hope things turn for you soon. You've been through enough! I just ran into a lady who had 3 ectopics and 3 m/c's and the 7th was a keeper! I hold on to those stories!

JessStillWaits: Hang in there Jess. I'm glad you ran across this thread and I have hope to get you to that next doc appointment!

AFM: I'm praying that on Wed. the 5th I see a heartbeat this time!

[Highopes]

I first started this thread on 6/15/09 regarding my 3rd m/c & wondering if anyone had been in a similar situation but gone on a have a healthy baby. Thank you to everyone who has responded. Sharing your stories has meant alot to me especially mrw & b1zz1e.

As far as my update goes, well I saw my RE yesterday to talk about going ahead with IVF & PGD. However, a few days before I noticed that my period was a few days late. I decided to poas which came back positive & I was really surprised. This happened 3 months ago & that didn't turn out so well. So I told my RE & I had a blood test yesterday. My beta came back today as 145!! So IVF is now on hold. I have so many emotions running through me now. This is my 4th pregnancy now (3rd one in 6 months) & I so hope this turns out well. I was so gearing up to go ahead with IVF (my dh & I were about to sign all the releases & get the ball rolling when I found out I was pregnant). I am so nervous that this is going to end in a m/c. I don't know if I can be happy. I haven't had any pregnancy symptoms either, so I don't know. But saying that with the other pregnancies I've never had any symptons either. I guess I have to just HOPE & PRAY.

Sherry

[maggiemay]

I am rooting for you (us) in this crazy situation!!!! Every egg is different! When you were going to do IVF/PGD you were hoping they would grab the "good" eggs... well here's hoping we both got a good one on this 4th try! I will cross all my fingers and toes for you!!!!!

[b1zz1e]

Praying for all you newly pregnant women! And hoping we can all have a healthy baby someday soon.

[karenBFP]

Hi i am so sorry on your losses and everyone elsa's sad losses i wanted to share my story with you all.
I have had 15 losses 9 missed miscarraiges my 1st at 10wks and the rest all at 8wks. All viable pregnancys with heart beat seen at all scans untill i get to 8wks the babys heart beat just stops unexplained.

I have also had blighted ovums and molar pregnancys and lost twin girls due to missed miscarraige no hb at 8wks last year. I recently just lost a little boy 29th june 2009 at 8wks gestation i had cyto genetics done on all my babys so i get to know the sex of baby and there was no chromosome abnormalties. I have been tested for clotting disorders and was found to have aps clotting disorder 8yrs ago in 1 of my pregnancys.

They decided to treat me with aspin and fragmin when next pregnant which never worked. I went on to lose this amount of babys inlcuding chemical pregnancys and thesa asprin and fragmin was not doing the job. Blood tests was not confirming any clotting disorders all was coming back normal. I had a hystrocoscopy a lap and die , pelvis xray and nk cell womb biopsy which was all normal and still to this day after many tests etc its still unexplained.

Since my recent loss they have decided to try me with a steriod called prednisone when next pg to see if this works. Its now experiment time to see what works as i coming to the end i am 30 in a few mths time i am not getting any younger and if they can experiment with me to see if it will help others then i am happy to do that. I am ttc again where do i get the strength from i just have to belive i will hold my baby in my arms one day soon positive mental attituide. Heres hoping to another sticky bfp very soon and sucsessfull treatment Good luck wishes for eveyone elsa ttc and if any one would like to help with some names of blood tests that are done for recurrent miscarraiges i can help you out just pm me.

p.s Does any one know how to change your username my old username as karenbfp from when i was pg and i would like to change it but clueless how to do it.

[Highopes]

Hi Karen - thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry for all your losses. Most of the women who have had RPL have had 3, 4 or 5 losses, so I am sorry that you have had to endure even more. This site is such a good support that I hope you find comfort sharing your story & journey with others. I know I have.

By the way, 30 isn't old!! If you think it is then some of us on here (myself included) are dinosaurs LOL!! As far as strength goes. Do what your gut tells you to do. If you have strength & support to keep going do it, if not then you will need to come to terms with the decision. If for some reason this pregnancy doesn't go to full term I will keep trying. Every time I seem to get further & obviously I hope this is it but I will keep going. Hang in there.

[maggiemay]

Karen, thanks too for sharing your story. wow, you've been through so much. I have told myself if this one doesn't make it I know I'll try again. Keep faith. I've been reading a book called "the bounce back book" by karen shalmonson (or something close to that) and it is really helpful. It's little tidbits of information and it really helps me... I bought it after my 2nd m/c and have been reading it off and on. Even today I read it (b/c I'm not sure I'm convinced that this one is going to stick either.) You mentioned you have a positive attitude and this book capitalizes on that attitude... I really like it. Good Luck karen and I hope to hear from you more.
Maggie

[b1zz1e]

karenBFP you are so strong. I am hoping and praying that you can hold your baby in your arms someday soon.

maggiemay & Highhopes good luck this week! I am crossing my fingers and toes for the both of you.

[JessStillWaits]

Congrats Highhopes on your unexpected good news, not something expected when you started this thread! Congrats to MaggieMay also. Postive wishes to everyone.

I start another cycle of Femara this month (my doc wants me to keep at it and feels the 2 m/c's were flukes...)... 2/3 times in 5 months after 3 years of nothing isn't bad I suppose... I feel like I am climbing a mountain somedays, but hopeful stories make me feel better! I don't have hope every day, but I want to keep at it, no matter where my mood is.

If things don't work out this cycle, we are on to IVF. And we have a romantic vacation planned this year. So much has been put on hold and it's so hard to know what each cycle will bring, but we have to take care of ourselves in the meantime, right?

BTW- Update, they still can't find anything wrong. The only avenue unexplored is genetics. I even got a Gluten Allergy test and some inflammatory markers to see if I could have allergy/immunology issues.

Everyone is in my prayers

[maggiemay]

Jess: Yes, you've got to take care of yourselves more than ever. I've tried to learn to plan plan plan your life... but you can't plan the baby around anything... it just doesn't work that way!

If this little one sticks... than I will be smack dab in the middle of an externship that means a lot to me, that was hard to get... and yet... I can't plan anything around this sticking...but if it does stick... i wouldn't give it up for a second!!!

Keep trying Jess.

[nzsc]

Unfortunately yes. I had my 1st m/c on 1-12-09. I got preg. naturally. My 2nd m/c was a chemical preg. after an iui cycle. I did two iui cycles. One cycle resulted in nothing and the second cycle was the chemical preg. My 3rd m/c was after ivf. All of this happened this year.

I think I am done. I have no hope for ever having a healthy baby. I have no LC. I am old, 39 going on 40. I think my time is up. I am willing to do ivf again (it is intense) but I am not willing to have another m/c. Why add to the total?
Natasha