[maggiemay]

Hi ladies.
As someone who has been going through RPL it has been such a support to hear from others with RPL. I always look on these boards for the ladies who have had loses because I want to hear their story, learn from it and share together.

HighHopes' last thread pulled a lot of us out of the woodwork. I'm starting this thread, with HighHopes blessing, to sort of gather us all to get updates and support each other.

So, I was hoping a fresh thread would help us all check with each other often. There are not a lot of RPL girls out there... I've read 3+ m/c's is only 1% of the population of couples trying to have babies.

Please post with your struggles, your stories, your current situation and what your trying now. I'm hoping this could be a place where peope could talk about lose and success before, during or after recurrent loses.

AFM: I am in my 4 pregnancy with no children. I've now gotten further in pregnancy than I've ever gotten but I'm still scared to death and don't quite believe it could be happening for real. I'm sure anyone with RPL understands.

Highhopes has had a great story too. We've both lost 3 times and now on our 4th and hoping they stick!!!

But, I still find myself coming back to the RPL group to see if anyone has posted because I feel like even though I've put myself on a Due Date Buddy Group, I find my fears outweigh my happiness to such a degree I come over here to look for how RPL girls are doing.

[Highopes]

As Maggie has already said, those of us with RPL are a very small club & it would be great if we could all share our stories & hopefully good news as well (Maggie is currently at the 8wk mark & I'm nearly 6wks).

As far as my story goes (for those that I haven't personally chatted with). My dh & I have been trying to get pregnant since July 2006. When I saw my OB she kept saying don't worry it will happen etc... after a year I decided to see an RE & started the ball rolling from Oct 2006. In June '08, April '09, June '09 I had 3 m/c's. The last being the hardest as I saw the heartbeat and at the next u/s it was gone. I'm tired of hearing all the time your tests were normal, nothing was wrong. even though the last time the baby had a genetic abnormality, my dh & I have tested negative for chromosomal testing, so my RE said that there was no reason, it just happened. Last month, July '09 I became pregnant again naturally (was actually in the Dr.'s office discussing doing my 1st IVF/PGD cycle when I told her my period was late & I took a blood test & it was +ive! So IVF is currently on hold). So the rollowcoaster continues......

........The rollercoaster of emotions we have going through RPL is incredible. Aside from sharing on this board the only other person I've told about my RPL has been my mother. I told her a couple of months ago & I just started crying & she did too. My mom doesn't know what it feels like as she had 2 kids and no m/c's, but she feels my pain. I needed to share with someone other than my dh.

Today, I'm having a crappy day. Someone rear-ended me. It wasn't too bad but it made me mad and upset & luckily it didn't do any damage to the car or me! I just feel really down today and tearful as I just don't have a great feeling about this pregnancy. Why, I don't know, you can ask my hormones that question I guess LOL! How can you be positive after having lost 3 pregnancies already & I haven't even had my 1st u/s as yet?

I thought I'd start an update board & as others join us we can add on;
Maggie => 3 m/c's; currently 8wks 2d
Sherry (Highopes) => 3 m/c's; currently 6wks

[maggiemay]

Highhopes: I'm sorry its such an emotional day. Three more days till your first u/s! You will be 6 weeks-ish then? It is scary to wait. Even when I saw a heartbeat at 6 I felt like I went home feeling like I was "pregnant for now" ... I'm trying to feel better after the 8 week scan... but ... I still find myself saying, "if this one sticks"... "if we have a baby"... I have no idea when the doubt will go away. But, it seems normal. We've never been past a certain point. ya know?

I'm glad you told someone else. 3 is hard. I can't believe you haven't told anyone else. It's so hard for me not to scream it from the roof tops (or facebook!) ---which I haven't done that... but sometimes I want to! Infertility and Miscarriage Sucks is what I'd like to type into Facebook updates. Today would be: Miscarriage Sucks b/c I can't even enjoy an 8 week ultrasound! UGH.

Re: the rest of RPL girls. I was and am so encouraged by anyone who has had a pregnancy loss and went on to have some sort of success. I searched high and low on this board to find those people. But what I also found was that there were very few people with a higher number of loses... That's why I feel like I'd like to be able to support and be supported by these very special women. I hope that if you are still out there trying and hoping that you'll come share your story with us because we're so few.

AFM: I am trying to feel positive in other moments...trying to be calm till 10 weeks. It's a good sign that I haven't gotten another weekly u/s, right? But I'll sure miss seeing it for reassurance in between 8-10 weeks.
maggie

[christina_s]

I recently discovered the forum when I was already pregnant and jumped to the pregancy forums.

Just today I noticed the RPL subforum and wanted to say to all of you that have gone through miscarriages that miracles do happen and we shouldn't give up.

A year ago I was ready to give up.. After 2 miscarriages I was diagnosed with a fibroid, diminished ovarian reserve at 30 years old and a chromosomatical abnormality which required IVF with PGD.

After following immune treatment we were able to conceive naturally and I am now 37 weeks pregnant.
Listen to your insticts and pursue the best treatment for you. I will never know for sure if the treatment helped but I am 80% convinced it did help.

Highopes and maggiemay congratulations on your pregnancies!! I can relate with you, I recently started to enjoy my pregnancy.

Many blessings

[Cathi025]

WOW, Great forum...I unfortunately have lost a child at every stage. In the past four years I have had and Ectopic, Chemical, stillborn, and two infant deaths (one at 8 days and one at 18 days).

At every stage of losing a child is devistating, Each time I have felt like my world was ending. I am currently pregnant with our Rainbow Baby...I am very excited and scared to make it to the end with a healthy baby.

Being blissfully ignorant....Wow that was a very long time ago for me.... I am doing the best I can to embrace this little miracle... My husband and I are very positive people and have worked very hard to stay very positve...We have blogged about most of our journey.

I just want to encourage anyone who is experiencing RPL to never give up. I am on complete bed rest and have been since 13 weeks...I will lay here until Christmas doing everything in my power to bring home a fat healthy baby Girl...Just Never give up...

Good Luck Everyone...we are all Fighters!!!!!

[maggiemay]

Oh Cathi025, what an amazing journey you've been on. At every stage? wow. Thank you for sharing your journey too. So, you've been on bed rest since 3 months preggo? Yeah, I could see doing what ever it takes. I feel like I'd stand on my head and do aerobics if my doctor said that would be what I needed to do. What is a Rainbow Baby? You do give us hope!

[Cathi025]

Originally Posted by maggiemay

Oh Cathi025, what an amazing journey you've been on. At every stage? wow. Thank you for sharing your journey too. So, you've been on bed rest since 3 months preggo? Yeah, I could see doing what ever it takes. I feel like I'd stand on my head and do aerobics if my doctor said that would be what I needed to do. What is a Rainbow Baby? You do give us hope!

Yep strict bed rest since 3 months I am 5 now and am doing everything in my power to make this little one come happy and healthy. You are right If the Dr said I had to stand on my head I would do it...lol Rainbow baby is a term I picked up on a different site...it is just a term for your new baby after a loss.

We can all do this...it has not been easy for me, but I have never given up hope...4 more months and we will have our little one to enjoy....Good luck to everyone....Cathi

[Highopes]

So today I had my 1st u/s. I wasn't really expecting much but amazing enough there was 1 little bean & a h/b, that I wasn't expecting especially on my 1st u/s. I was just expecting to see the sac/fetal pole etc. To be honest I was really expecting the worst espeically with my history so it was such a nice surprise. The u/s technician was so nice today. She spent time pointing everything out on the u/s and even gave my dh & I a picture of our little bean. I am happy but I'm also so nervous as well. I have another u/s next Tues & if that goes well this will be the furthest that I will have ever got. I saw a different RE today as mine was on vacation & he was so nice. He actually took the time to read my file & knew my situation. He said that the h/b was strong & this was a really good sign. So I'm still not out of the woods right now but this is a great beginning.

The last few days I've had such a loss of appetite and the nausea comes on and off but other than that I'm feeling ok. Praying for good results on u/s no.2 now. One day at a time....

Cathi - thank you for sharing your story & reminding all of us to never give up hope.


Sherry

[maggiemay]

Highhopes! YEAH!!!!!!! I'm so happy! One step at a time is all we can ask for!!!!! Oh, I'm so happy for you. Well, one day at a time and we'll just have to wait till Sept. 1st to see what happens! And, it sounds like you are even getting some symptoms! I'm so happy for you. I'll keep keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!!

Christina_ thanks for the uplifting message! Gosh do we all need it! I can't say enough how the knowing people like you are out there has helped me have the courage to get pregnant again... and if it happens again (m/c) I'll keep trying again too....

[jencat215]

RPL does take so much innocence from you, doesn't it? I am so glad that you all are having your success stories. Are you doing any support for the pregnancy? I too have RPL. My story is very similar to Highhopes. I got pg naturally in July 06 but lost it early. Got pg on clomid in Dec 06 and lost twins in Jan. Got pg from IUI/clomid in April 07 but ended up in ectopic. Had a few chemicals then had planned to do IVF in June but got pg naturally the month before. We had already gotten the consult and were just waiting for AF. I did heparin and progesterone injections for the first trimester and have been on baby aspirin and folgard (still am). The result is my beautiful wonderful son Wyatt.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. RPL is often overlooked because many times they can't figure out why, like us. The only think they found with me is a heterozygous MTHFR mutation. My first RE dismissed it (and I had the ectopic and chemicals with him). The second one insisted on support and now I have Wyatt.
Best of luck to all of you

[maggiemay]

jencat: thanks for your story too! wow. I'm on my 4th pregnancy and doing the progesterone suppositories, estrogen patches, lovenox injections, baby aspirin and b6, b12 too.... and I've gotten to 9 weeks so far! I can't believe it. I hope I have the same good luck as you!!! the meds can be overwhelming but worth every second!

Congrats on little Wyatt. Do you think you'll try again ever? I've tell myself that if I actually get one child out of all this heartache i don't even know if I could try for another with the first being so difficult to capture!
m

[Cathi025]

Maggie, I feel the same way you do right now...I have always wanted several kiddos, I am starting to come to the realization this may be our only living child. I just can't go through bed rest like this with a little one running around. Plus we have endured 4 years of TTC..we are so ready to get our marriage back and enjoy each other again....maybe my mind will change later, but for now I may just have one spoiled princess..lol

Jencat, I am so happy you found a great RE..it is so importantm same thing happened to a friend of mine, they spend all of their life savings and then some trying IVF with no luck, by time they switched RE's they ran out of money and hope.

Highopes and Maggie, I just wanted to say CONGRATS on your !!!!!

I am 21 weeks today, unfortunately for me I am starting to get a little nervous, because I lost my first born son at exactly 22 weeks, I really need this month to fly by, after 26 weeks I sould feel a little better...

[maggiemay]

Cathi: Wow, it sure does seem realistic that you would feel so nervous around this time! I'll be thinking of you. You are doing everything that you can do to keep this little one inside! I bet a laptop is your best friend during the day!

Highopes: Hope you are still hanging in there emotionally!

AFM: I had a scare last night! Talk about the innocence really being gone... I had some mild cramping, nothing I've ever felt before, for abou 15-20 minutes. My stomach just dropped. I went from feeling hopeful during the day and actually talking with my husband about the real possibility this one may stick... to feeling like the game was over. So sickening feeling. I don't know what I'll do if this one doesn't stick.

The cramps went away before I fell asleep. The were like pulsating twinge/pulls from my groin to the hip bone of each part of my hip. I've had twinge pulls from my groin but never constant pulsing ones and for such a long time. They were on both sides at the same time. Anyone (and I mean anyone - good or bad) have these feelings before? I'm feeling ok now (this morning) but I haven't gotten out of bed yet. Thanks.
maggie

[maggiemay]

Cathi: Wow, it sure does seem realistic that you would feel so nervous around this time! I'll be thinking of you. You are doing everything that you can do to keep this little one inside! I bet a laptop is your best friend during the day!

Highopes: Hope you are still hanging in there emotionally!

AFM: I had a scare last night! Talk about the innocence really being gone... I had some mild cramping, nothing I've ever felt before, for abou 15-20 minutes. My stomach just dropped. I went from feeling hopeful during the day and actually talking with my husband about the real possibility this one may stick... to feeling like the game was over. So sickening feeling. I don't know what I'll do if this one doesn't stick.

The cramps went away before I fell asleep. The were like pulsating twinge/pulls from my groin to the hip bone of each part of my hip. I've had twinge pulls from my groin but never constant pulsing ones and for such a long time. They were on both sides at the same time. Anyone (and I mean anyone - good or bad) have these feelings before? I'm feeling ok now (this morning) but I haven't gotten out of bed yet. Thanks.
maggie

[Cathi025]

Maggie, You will start to feel increased pain like that the further along you get. Last pregnancy I freaked out too and went to Dr. This time I know it is just round ligament. I get it all the time now, usually lasts 30 min or so. Only real explination is it feels like you are getting stabbed in your whooha.

Also, ur uterus is growing making room for your little one.,these pains are very normal...

You are doing great, only a few more weeks and you can rest a little...