Can this really be happening again?

bd711 · #1 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 06:00 AM

I feel like that person wandering the streets looking for an answer to life's questions - but I'm virtually wandering through this thread instead (not so safe to wander the streets at quarter to 6, I guess). It looks like this journey is over for me yet again. I'm just over 6 weeks pregnant after using donor eggs. I woke up an hour ago with bright red bleeding - not spotting, bleeding. I'm cramping some too, though who knows if that's me or my distress doing it. I'm in a bit of shock, even though I shouldn't be. I knew we weren't out of the woods yet, but I've spent so, so, so much time in the woods that I thought this could possibly be our time. I guess that was presumptuous of me.

Last week we confirmed that this was not an ectopic pregnancy like my last one was, which was such a relief. The doctor reminded me that we're not past the danger zone. I wonder now whether he saw anything wrong. My betas were good, I've been feeling sick (though I stopped feeling sick for a couple of days and then it came back yesterday - maybe my beta numbers were dropping and that made me feel nauseated?). Sometimes this just happens - but so many times in so many different ways? I just feels cruel.

Anyway, I know I'm going to be searching for answers, not liking the ones I'll get immediately. But I just need to remind myself that I'll survive - I have before, I will again. It's hard to imagine right now, but I will.

Thanks for listening. B

ARoberts26 · #2 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 06:09 AM

Oh I sooooo hope that you are not experiencing a m/c. Have you been able to reach your RE yet? Please keep us updated. You will be on my mind all day. I'm

for you and I'm glad that you decided to "wander around" the board rather than the streets. Sending you lots of

and

.

Passionscientist · #3 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 06:31 AM

Oh no Bethany!! I'm praying that it's not a m/c honey...you don't deserve that, none of us do. Please keep us updated and I'm sending you some LONG DISTANCE HUGS!!!

BabySteps · #4 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 07:11 AM

Bethany, my heart goes out to you. It makes me so sad to read your post. Please, please,

let this not be the end..... Next time I check, I hope to find out this has a happy ending and it is not a m/c. Big hugs to you.

MarisaD · #5 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 07:17 AM

Bethany - You have over come so many hurdles already. I pray this is just another small one and everything is going to be ok. My thoughts and prayers are with you! We are here for you.

CJS · #6 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 07:47 AM

Bethany,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Did you call your RE? Hopefully they can see you first thing. Please let us know how you are doing.

jjbaxter · #7 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 07:53 AM

I am so sorry to here this I

everything will be okay just try and hang in there I know it is hard.

jana · #8 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 08:26 AM

Bethany, so sorry taht yo are going through this yet again. Try to hold on to as mch hope as you can. I am praying for you and DP.

designdiva32 · #9 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 08:28 AM

I'm so sorry to read this is happening again. Its really not fair hun. Although don't give up yet okay? I had quite a bit of bleeding throughout the beginning of my current pregnancy and after my two m/c's I assumed the worst too.

Make sure you see your RE today, and I will be keeping my hopes up for you that you are out of those woods in no time. Keep us posted.

chantalTTC · #10 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 08:33 AM

Bethany - I'm praying so hard that this is just a scare and you will pull through this ok. Have you been in to see your RE yet? I am holding out all hope that everything is just fine. You and your dp have been through so much - you deserve for this to work out ok... You are in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie.

bd711 · #11 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 08:42 AM

Thanks everyone. I got a 9:45 appointment with my RE. I just faked stomach flu to get out of a work meeting at 10:30. I feel a little guilty about lying to get out of the meeting (folks are flying in from Phoenix for it), but there's really no way I could be there with any sanity. I'm trying to hold onto any shred of hope. DP is coming to the appointment thankfully. I'll let you know the results. Thanks again and again for all your support. -B

Passionscientist · #12 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bd711

Thanks everyone. I got a 9:45 appointment with my RE. I just faked stomach flu to get out of a work meeting at 10:30. I feel a little guilty about lying to get out of the meeting (folks are flying in from Phoenix for it), but there's really no way I could be there with any sanity. I'm trying to hold onto any shred of hope. DP is coming to the appointment thankfully. I'll let you know the results. Thanks again and again for all your support. -B

Please let us know what the RE says. I'm sending up some

for you and DP that you will get some good news today.

designdiva32 · #13 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 10:24 AM

Good luck.

chantalTTC · #14 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 10:32 AM

I'm so glad you were able to get in so soon, Bethany, and I'm so glad to hear your DP will be there. I really hope you get good news - I'm sending all my positive energy your way and asking the universe to bless you!

frymomma2b · #15 (**permalink**) 04-15-2008, 11:00 AM

I know what you are feeling...lost..alone...hopeless, but please remember that you will get through this and have that baby your heart desires. I will pray for your family and your future children. Let yourself grieve properly and hold on tight to your dh. That is the mistake i made. I have been a wreck with 2 m/c in 7 months and i forget that i am not in this alone even though dh doesnt show it he feels it. Sending lost of hugs and prayer

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