[nzsc]

DH is an inconsiderate jerk. I am doing inj. med., have many appt with RE, and will soon do iui. I did all of the above last month and no baby.

All of this stuff is alot. I hate needles, I am always being poked with med of blood test at the RE's office. I have pelvic cramping due to some of the testing that I underwent - RE said this is normal and to rest as much as possible. My DH is a jerk b/c his family (aunt, uncle, and their two children) are staying with us for two weeks from out of town. They stayed with us last year but I was healthy last year and not going through all of these treatments. I like them but they are a lot of work. First, they do not believe in eating out. Cooking three meals a day for four additinal people in my small house is alot. Cleaning up after them is a lot of work. DH has a brother and a sister. Why can't these people stay with one of them!!!!!! They e-mailed my DH - not me_ and asked if they can stay with us. Without asking me, without considering me, of course he said yes. What an inconsiderate jerk!!!!! Since I am the one going through all of this treatment, others should work to take care of me - not the other way around. They never asked me if they can stay here. I would have said no. So they show us today - right now - I told them that I am not feeling well and I will not be able to do much with or for them. They are noce people but a lot of work. After I said that, they of course want to stay here to help me however they can. What they don't realize is that the best way to help me is to leave me alone.

I am not mad at them. They do not know about my m/c's or infertility treatments. it's DH that I argue with about this and can't stand to look at right now. What a jerk!!!!!! Now I am thinking that I do not want to have a baby with him. So inconsiderate. He then has the nreve to say that it is hormonal b/c of all the med. that is being inj. into me. Recognizing and calling out an a#@ who does not stop one second to think about my pelvic pain, stress, or workload is not hormonal issues. I hate him right now. He will never make up for this.
Natasha

[bunniswife]

Sweetie, I just want to hug you. I'm sorry you're pissed at DH and feel he is being inconsiderate. You could always try bringing up the fact that you are not feeling well and bluntly tell the extended family you need some help with all the meals or you will be eating out. Don't give them a choice, if they don't like it, they can get a hotel. You don't need to clean up after all those people, tell DH that your home is not a B and B. If he wants them there, he should help out and support you. So what if you ARE a bit hormonal from the drugs...he would be too.

[nzsc]

Thanks - That is what I pretty much told them. They went to dinner out this evening. I am good about saying how I am feeling. I just needed to vent. My DH is a jerk for saying/thinking that it is just hormones. Also, I am just so pissed at him for being so inconsiderate. Tomorrow, I am going to tell the extended family about the m/c's and all of my RE stuff and tell them to stay with my sister-in-law. I just needed to vent. Sometimes I think I am crazy. Thanks for responding.
Natasha

[HelloHiKT333]

Hi Natasha,

I would of felt the same way if my DH did that to me. Just yesterday, I was trying to make me a DVD with all his races. (he does marathons, triathlons, etc) well, I was keeping myself occupied and wanting to make him a DVD. I needed help with choosing what songs to put on the DVD plus, he's the one with CDs not me. I asked him while he was sitting on the couch...DH, what's songs do you want on your DVD and where are your CDs? He said, I don't know...I don't listen to CDs? I'm like..."you don't know where your CD case is with all your CDs? You don't have a clue? where they could be??" then I walk to his drawer and find them, as I said "I can't believe you can't get up from the couch to try and help me find CDs!!!" "you would never know what you're missing because you don't care about your stuff!!! and I'm going to sell your Wii, Guitar Hero, Xbox, etc!" He yelled back, "Sell your bike, body board!!!" I just said, "Fine!!! I'll sell everything!!!!!!!" I was so bothered and heated! After that whole incident..I was thinking to myself..fine!!! I don't want to take my fertility meds then! I don't want to have a baby!!! He's soooooo **** lazy and inconsiderate!!! I felt like crying... plus, I try to tell him here and there the information I find out on line about babies and such but, he seems to have no real emotion or comment back to me. If I were to be like "why aren't we getting pregnant, I'm so sad...everyone else is pregnant or having babies now..." he wouldn't want to hear that, it's like to him I'm just a complainer!!! Plus, I live in Hawaii...away from all my family and friends. We live here coz he's stationed here due to the military. So, he's the only other person I can talk to and besides he's my husband but, most of what I think or feel these days are kept inside. I tell my best friend some things but, i don't think she understand besides she has 2 kids already 12, and 8 y/o. My cousin who I use to talk to and who I threw her a baby shower just had a baby a few days ago. She was actually trying for 3 years and was going to start taking meds but, she got pregnant. Also, my friends who gave birth already have asked me to be the Godparent of their baby already! I am truly happy for them but, sad that I dont know if it's going to be my turn next! This month, I will be doing my first IUI. I just started my femara meds yesterday, so I have to take it for the next 4 days and then go in for my u/s and get a HCG shot then my IUI. I really hope it works.

But, I'm like you...I think when I just get frustrated with my husband then I think..fine, I dont want to have a baby. It's like if I have a baby. I still have to deal with HIM and his attitudes! ERRR!!! Sorry, just venting! plus, seems like the only time we DO IT is when our dr says around this time is when you should have relations. other than that, we don't do and I feel like everything is soooooooooo forced. I can't stand it!

It's like people who want to be pregnant aren't and those that don't, have babies by mistakes.

[asweet]

Same story here with DH. Today I tried to explain what I am going through emotionally, with seeing everyone around you pregnant or with babies...sigh. No understanding or compassion with DH. All he says is that he doesn't know what I'm going through. I want to SCREAM! Plus it didn't help that I had my painful as all hell pelvic/pap today. Results will take another week...more time for me to worry. All alone.

[savannah]

I am totally new to all this, but i completely understand, as my DH can be ignorant and disinterested in what is going on with our infertility. however, i recently bought a great book (granted, i am not finished yet, so i can't totally vouch for it) that explains the behavior of men (and women) SOOO well. it's called "how to improve your marriage without talking about it." so far, it is like the authors have been watching us!!! i haven't gotten to the help portion of the book yet, but so far it is ON THE MONEY. it may help you understand better what is going though his head (totally different from us). good luck!