[Jacklyn]

Would you get mad if your mom tells your brother who is 7 years younger to you that he and his wife should start thinking about having kids? His wife is 30. I understand that she and my mom think that she should not wait much longer. But they have only been married for a year.
It really made me angry and sad at the same time to think that my brother who is so much younger to me might actually have kids before I do. I feel evil to think this way, but I cannot seem to help the way I feel.
I think my mom should have been more sensitive to my feelings. As per her, I should not be reacting this way. I understand the whole talk about its God's will or that we cannot go against His will etc. I also understand that I should be focusing on myself and my husband and not some event in someone else's life that has not yet taken place. But I am very scared about this now.
This whole thing has made me more insecure about myself and our ability to get pregnant. I don't think I'll be able to deal with this situation if it were to happen.
To add to it, my personality is completely different from my SIL and we do not exactly have a great chemistry between us.
Am I being totally unreasonable here?

[iwanabamama]

I don't think your being unreasonable. It hurts not being able to conceive and know someone else may have it sooner than you. I think should have been a little bit more sensitive. Now since it's family if should happen I think you'll be okay. I know when my younger sister who had her 4th I was still happy. I think for right now let your emotions out. It's okay to have these feeling your only human. You take care and know we are here for you. Sending you lots of (((HUGS))).

,
Sandy

[JenD]

Considering your Mom knows what you are going through, she should have been more sensitive to your feelings. I would be upset too.

[Jacklyn]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts on this. My heart feels much lighter now that I talked about this to you guys.
I agree that the world cannot stop from getting pregnant just because I am not able to conceive. And I do hope that if such a situation were to arise, I'd be able to deal with it gracefully.

Thank you very much, again. I find myself fortunate to have you guys

P.S. I realized later that I posted the same post twice. That was unintentional, I probably hit the Submit button twice.

[tulip23]

No,u r not being unreasonable at all.This is probably the reaction most of us going thro infertility would have.It hurts watching everyone around u being pg except u.But seetie,lets face it..ur SIL has her own family to make and she would probably not worry about what u wud feel when it comes to her own baby making and seeing what u r going thro' may b ur mom got a bit insecure and hence she was so impatient about ur brother having a baby now.Actually everyone is right in their own place..its the situation thats wrong.Just b happy..u will have ur day too..very soon.All he best!!!!

[KB505]

In my opinion, the only people who get to say when they should have children are the parents. Any outside opinions are unnecessary. I don't care if someone in the family is dealing with infertility or not. It's not the MIL's job to schedule the births of her grandchildren.

[Neta]

Originally Posted by Jacklyn

Would you get mad if your mom tells your brother who is 7 years younger to you that he and his wife should start thinking about having kids? His wife is 30. I understand that she and my mom think that she should not wait much longer. But they have only been married for a year.
It really made me angry and sad at the same time to think that my brother who is so much younger to me might actually have kids before I do. I feel evil to think this way, but I cannot seem to help the way I feel.
I think my mom should have been more sensitive to my feelings. As per her, I should not be reacting this way. I understand the whole talk about its God's will or that we cannot go against His will etc. I also understand that I should be focusing on myself and my husband and not some event in someone else's life that has not yet taken place. But I am very scared about this now.
This whole thing has made me more insecure about myself and our ability to get pregnant. I don't think I'll be able to deal with this situation if it were to happen.
To add to it, my personality is completely different from my SIL and we do not exactly have a great chemistry between us.
Am I being totally unreasonable here?

SOMETIMES WE GET THESE FEELINGS OF INSECURITY, AND IT IS NOT A BAD THING BUT IT DOES MAKE US SEEM SELFISH, I THINK YOUR THINKING YOUR MOM IS GOING TO DRAW TO YOUR BROTHER AND SIL TAKING PERHAPS TAKING THE SPOTLIGHT OFF YOU AND YOUR DH, BASICALLY I MEAN YO ARE THE OLDEST AND YOU WANTED TO BE THE ONE TO GIVE YOUR PARENTS THEIR FIRST GRANDCHLD, AM I CORRECT? YOU CAN LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, ONCE YOU DO CONCEIVE IT SHOULD BE A JOY FOR EVERYONE IN YOUR FAMILY TO KNOW AFTER YOUR STRUGGLES YOU PESEVERED OVER THIS SITUATION, THINK OF IT THAT WAY AND GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SITUATION, I HAVE FELT THIS WAY ON DIFFERENT OCCASSIONS AND FOR DIFFERENT THINGS...

[Blia]

I agree with Neta...

Some people would get upset over this kind of situation but to me it'll just make me look selfish.

I'm the 2nd oldest of six kids in the family and all my younger siblings have kids of their own now but I still don't.

My mother encourage all of us to have kids. She has been supportive towards me and helped me financially with IVF as well but she never stop asking my other siblings to have more kids...

I don't think our mother love us any more or any less. They want us to have the same joys that they've have.

But right now, keep positive and don't stress your body over this. It has to be ready for your own baby someday....

But I'll be praying that you'll have a little one or to soon!!