[raquielle]

Frankly your wife needs your support now more than ever. I agree that having a wandering eye is probably just your nature and has probably been increased due to stress. If you were the one having the fertility issue and your wife was attracted to other men you would be devastated. You have the power to stop the attraction. You are not a helpless victim of your thoughts. I am currently struggling with infertility and it has at moments put a strain on our marriage but my husband is devoted to me. He married me for better or for worse. Sometimes there is better and sometimes there is worse. This is just life. All people go through countless things in their life. How many people get cancer, heart disease, lose jobs, experience deaths or just plain don't get what they want out of life? Does that mean it's ok to cheat on our spouse? No. I have at times worried that I am less desirable to my husband sexually because my body doesn't easily conceive. He says it's not true and tells me that I am perfect for him and that we'll eventually be parents of a baby in some fashion. We are doing ivf in a year or so. I hope you do the honorable thing by your dear wife. You obviously have some growing up to do.

[Dee2008]

Me and my dh went threw alot he went to the internet and I went to fantasizing about classmate. It was awful I wanted to hurt him as much as he was hurting me. He felt that even thought he had low sperm count there was nothing wrong with him since he have three children by previous relationship. We went thur counseling and i had to forgive him and myself to make my marriage work plus we were raising the three children during all of this. The children had major emotional problems from living with bio mother. So that was a huge. Today I know it was the grace of God because we have made it threw it was not easy we stopped treatment for a few years. The stress of it all is something it bring out the you inside and challenge your very being. My Pastor counsel us and I had to leave the rest with God. So before you do this think about what you will loose an is it worth it dont give up on a 80 for a 20. He who finds a wife has found a good thing. We now spend time together and have found each other again. My husband was jealous of all the attention I was giving to the children(his bio) and not him. That was hard and he figure it would be worst if we had more children. What broke the camel back is when I moved another area of the house that scared him it was months before I came back. So please be honest with yourself and then talk with your wife. My husband when I told him how I came close to having an affair on him. Because of feelings. He could not fantum that but he could have internet relationships. So we have lost alot of years thru this an now we are ready to bring a child into the world with parent who already live him/her and each other. We just celebrated our 14th anniversary. My mistake was taken my husband for granted and agnoring his feeling (acting like a child) for my attention and compassion all I could think about was being the best mom I totally abandon being his wife. I have grown alot.
Me 38 yrs
dh 44 yrs
IUI#1
IUI#2
IUI#July08

[cgong1]

Dear Sweetdreams,

People are naturally attracted to other people and will always be but you have to draw the line at being attracted and acting on it. Remember the attraction is going to be exciting and stress free...but only in the beginning...just like every other relationship sometimes it can get boring. Sounds like you and your wife are too serious (especially trying to conceive for 4 years). This can take a huge toll on your marraige.

You need to sit down and decide if your wife is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with or not. If she is, then you need to spend less time with this girl at work and firgure out a way to reconnect! a sexual encounter is just an act that will last a short period of time. It is not worth throwing your marraige down the drain for sex.

The fact you care enough to post a blog on a forum dominated by women should count for something. Seems like you must care a lot about your wife!

Good Luck and hope you have been able to work out your issues!

Best!

Originally Posted by sweetdreams

This thread will probably get me flamed but I don't care. I think this is a good forum where open-mindedness is key.

I don't know what it is but the longer we ttc (4 yrs now with IUI and IVF) and are unsuccessful the stronger my attraction grows with other women. I love my wife but ****, this girl at work is becoming so desirable I'm worried it's going to come to a head soon.

I haven't thought this way before and wonder if it is related to this ttc stress.

32/M