[jdl35]

Hi - i am new..We have been ttc for 2 years. We have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old daughter and I feel guilty b/c i am so sad that we havent been able to have another one. I have been going through ALL the testing - SO much fun! During the lap and hysteroscopy they found that the opening to my fallopian tubes w/ the finger/cilia things (dont ask me the proper name) were actually adhered together. They thought that was my problem and it would be fine...that was 4 months ago and each month gets harder and harder! I have tried the ovulation induction this month and am not trying to get my hopes up but its sooo hard! In the last 1 1/2 8 of my good friends have had or are having there 2nd and 3rd child!!! I totally understand -sorry i cant remember the name - who said they burst into tears when a friend told them they were pregnant..I had one 'friend' take me out to a crowded restraunt to tell me...then had the nerve to say 'oh, wow, your happy for me, i was so worried how you would take it.....' obviously not that worried ...


Anyway - its nice to 'hear' other peoples story...makes you feel not so alone...

[einstein]

Don't feel guilty. TTC is one of the hardest things to deal with -- because so many people can't understand the emotions that go along with it.

In the meantime, try and enjoy the time with your precious daughter. Before you know it, she'll be off to school. I know, because I have 3 1/2 year old IVF twins and some days I'm so consumed with the typical daily droll -- laundry, chores, fixing dinner, etc -- that I forget how important the stuff with the kids is.

Hang in there. I'm offering a shoulder for you! It's hard but have faith.

[rori]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Maybe it helps a tiny bit to know someone else is too. I'm in pretty much the same position, trying for 1.5 years with a 2.5 year-old son. I feel like I don't pay any attention to him because I'm just so obsessed with having another one. 1 IVF and 5 miscarriages later I'm no closer to giving him a sibling. My family keeps telling me to focus on all the things I'm lucky for, but it's a lot easier said than done. Just know that you're not alone.

[kobl]

I am also in the same boat. Have a 2 1/2 year old son and have been trying to conceive #2 for 18 months. Have had 2 miscarriages. I have a circle of 12 friends and all but one other have had their second child in the time I have been trying to conceive. A good book I would recommend is "wanting another child:coping with secondary infertility" by Harriet Fishman Simons. It's out of print but I got it on Amazon.com. The personal stories in the book made me feel less alone and more understood. These days I can't throw a rock without hitting a pregnant woman so it's nice to find support where you can get it


Kelly

[DebbieJ]

I am new, too. We have much in common. We have also been ttc for 2 years. We have a 3 1/2 year old son.

We began trying in June 2004. I had a chemical pregnancy in Sept 2004. In Feb 2006 I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and a D&E.

I had a hysteroscopy a few months ago and the Dr. found a lot of scar tissue. Not sure from what but I had a placenta issue when delivering my son so that may have been the cause. Anyhow, he said that is probably why we've been having problems conceiving.

Of course that got my hopes up. But then I went in last month at ovulation time and they said my lining was too thin.

I went in again this month and I'm not even ovulating when I should be. I never ovulate late...I usually have a 28-30 day cycle.

It's an emotional rollercoaster. Right now I am giving it until the end of the year and we'll probably call it quits.

I'm sorry you are going through this, too.

[30somethingmom]

Sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. Infertility is frustrating, upsetting and exhausting. I agree that you shouldn't feel guilty, though. You didn't ask for this and didn't do anything to cause it. You are not responsible for how your body responds.

I sincerely hope that things work out for you soon. I know how hard it is. If not, have you considered adoption? We adopted recently and now have the most wonderful daughter! I know it is not for everyone, but it can and does work out great for some.

Good luck to you!

[kobl]

DebbieJ, I also had a hysteroscopy done a couple of months after my miscarriage and the dr also found more scar tissue than he was expecting which he removed. In my case, he felt that it was a contributing factor but not the only issue. I also have "low ovarian reserves" based on my FSH levels which basically means I have fewer eggs of potentially lower quality (I am 36). We are currently doing our second cycle of Clomid and if it doesn't work this cycle, we are moving onto injectables (Follistim) next cycle and we'll try that for 2-3 cycles. The idea of injectables totally scares me but I have talked with a few people who did it and they said the needle is very thin and you only feel it for a second going in. Just thought I'd share that in case anyone else is as needle-phobic as I am


As hard as it is for us to be going through this, it's great that there are forums like this where we can share our stories and feel not quite so alone.

Kelly

[dixiebug]

Right there with yall!! I am the only person I know with infertility issues. I have never even know anyone else in my community that has had trouble getting pregnant. They joke about fertility around here!! I just want to HIT them!!!! My best friend even took me shopping for maternity clothes and baby items when she was pregnant (this was after we had been ttc for about 5 years). She said she figures we just gave up so no need to walk on eggshells around me anymore. <Grrrr> It's especially difficult when your dealing with IF with a previous child. People think you should just be satisfied with what you have and leave well enough alone. They don't understand we are satisfied yet still unfulfilled.

[gracesmom]

Hi Kelly.......I too am in the same boat as you all are on this board. We have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old daughter and have been TTC a 2nd child since November '04 (when our daughter turned 1). I had 3 miscarriages before our daughter was born so getting pregnant was never an issue for me. Staying pregnant was. Now we are onto our first round of IVF. I said I'd try it once because it is so time consuming and I feel like I'm not being a very good mom to my little girl during the treatments. As far as the needles go.......I am a HUGE wimp and I have been giving myself the shots with no problem ( 3 rounds for IUI and now IVF). It's really a psychological thing so as long as you can get past the initial poke it is totally fine. Just remember, a paper cut hurts worse! Hang in there and hopefully we'll all be able to give our children a sibling.

[gracesmom]

Chrissy, I love the satisfied yet still unfulfilled. That is a great way to put it. We are so blessed with our daughter but the thought of her being "alone" just kills me. I think about the decisions she'll probably have to make as we get older and doing that alone makes me so heartbroken for her. We are not giving up yet!! I wish you the best of luck!!

[meremere]

I am sorry to hear your story. I havea question for you. Is a hysteroscopy different from a HSG? I think that is what my RE wants me to do since I have had a HSG and it showed a slightly "T" shapped uterus.
If it is different, what is it like? Is it similar to the HSG, a little uncomfortable or what?
Thanks and thing you can tell me is great.

[kitkat7782]

I Have A 7 Yr Old And 3 1/2 Yr Old With My First Marriage--ttc For 2 Years With New Hubby Who Has No Children. I Have So Many People Tell Me How Lucky I Am To Have The Two--i Know This!!! But You Can Never Replace A Child That You Lose--at The Same Time You Cannot Fill The Void In Your Heart With A Child That You Already Have. They Each Have Their Own Place And When A Place Is Empty, The Desire Is Just As Strong As You Felt The First Time Around.
I Just Called To Clean Out My Mutual Fund And Every Little Piece Of Security I Had Along With It. Today Was Very Exciting And Very Hard Knowing I Am About To Start Ivf. I'm Scared And Anxious And Weepy And I Havent Even Started The Drugs Yet I Am So Glad I Could Find A Place Where I Wasnt Alone!!!!

[DebbieJ]

Meremere, Yes, a hysteroscopy is different. I think it's a little more uncomfortable but it's not terrible. For me the uncomfortable part was when he cleaned the scar tissue out. I think it's a great idea to have one done sooner rather than later. For me they didn't do a hysteroscopy until after I had a miscarriage (even though we had been trying 1 1/2 years).

[MaggieMoo]

I too am in the same boat as all of you ladies. I have a 5 year old DS and have been trying for #2 for almost 2 years. I have been on 7 cycles of clomid, 2 laps and had a m/c last September (conceived without ANY meds). I am always being told that I should just be grateful and happy with what I already have. And don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY am completely happy with my wonderful DS but would love to give him and my DH another child/sibling. I like what Chrissy said, "satisfied yet still unfulfilled". That really describes me to a "T". Since the m/c, I feel as if something is missing from me and my life. Now being labeled as "unexplained" doesn't sit with me very well so I think that is what keeps me going with all the treatments and RE appointments. This long journey for me has been very hard and stressful but I'm trying to be hopeful! It's really difficult though.

I wish everyone luck whether you are ttc #1 or #2!!! We just need to lean on each other for support.

Tricia
_________________________
ME: 31
DH: 32
DS: 5 years old

M/C: 9.14.05
*2 laps
*7 cycles of clomid
*Progesterone suppos
*HSG Shots
*New RE doc doing some tests that other RE didn't do

[croleRN]

Hi Ladies;
New here also. As siggy says DD is 3yr, no problems conceiving her (1st month of charting, 3rd month off BCP). Now has been more than 2 yr of TTC. RE says I look fine. Labs normal, ovulating (follies seen on U/S), HSG great. We are waiting on DH's SA. (Having some performance anxiety.) But RE is "guessing" everything is normal. (Even though he doesn't like to guess.)

But lately things have been getting harder and harder. Tonight I just feel like bursting into tears.