[sunny72]

We have our first RE visit coming up for this time around. We have a 2.5 year old daughter. My question is: do you think it is insensitive or inappropriate to bring her a long to our RE visit. We have noone to babysit and we have never left her with a babysitter or daycare facility. We haven't told any family members of our IF struggles and don't intend to now. They wouldn't be available to help out on this occasion with babysitting anyway. I am really worried that I would upset other people in the waiting room etc.. I remember those days myself. But then again, we don't want to cancel the appointment either. I guess I could also call the center for advice.
Any thoughts.

[JenD]

My RE requests that children are not brought into the office. It wouldn't bother me though, since I am around kids all of the time. Good luck.

[Georgia Girl]

I didn't think it would bother me...but when i got bad news in January at my RE office, I really had a hard time when I saw a baby in the waiting room with someone's husband.

[keeppraying]

My RE does not allow children to come to the appointments. I would call the office first to check on their policy.

[shb24]

Originally Posted by keeppraying

My RE does not allow children to come to the appointments. I would call the office first to check on their policy.

Same with my RE's office. I agree to call & check.

[hopeless?]

My RE office does not let children come to appointments, which is something that I love. It is very hard to go threw all this and to then have to sit in a waiting room with other peoples kids. It may not bother some but it may really bother others! If you have to take your child, try to avoid "rush hour"....mornings always seem to have more appointments, which will mean more women in the waiting room.

[wannabigbabybelly]

My RE doesn't care either way. We've always seen other children in the waiting room or even little babies in strollers going into the exam rooms.

My husband wil usually come with me and play with our 3 little ones(adopted) in the waiting room. We never get bad looks or see people upset about it. Everyone always smiles and laughs at the little things they do that are so cute. Some people may judge me...thinking "what is she doing in here...trying to get pregnant when she has already had 3" but I've never gotten that impression from anyone.

I know for me....I'm baby crazy....I love talking to pregnant mothers to be...and watching or playing with others babies. Even though I have never experienced pregnancy and child birth for myself.....I'm always drawn to it.

Yes, of course there are those days that you just can't stand seeing another pregnant woman or newborn baby. But I think what always hits me the hardest is when you hear of friends and relatives having children....that's when it gets personal....at least for me.

I would just bring your little one along. There's no need to re-schedule your appointment.

[kobl]

MY RE's office did not allow children beyond the waiting room so if you brought your child, you also had to bring another adult to supervise the child while you were being seen. I had a 2 yr old when I was going through treatment and I never brought him to an appt because I didn't want to upset anyone else in the waiting room. I occasionally saw other patients bring a child but not very often and usually it was a child old enough to sit in the waiting room by themself. I would avoid bringing your child if you can. I didn't want to tell my in-laws about our IF struggle either but I did because my FIL is retired and I needed him to watch my son when I had dr appts. Depending on your situation, you may have no choice but to bring your child with you. I'm just saying try to avoid it if you can. Good luck!

[shb24]

It is a very sensitive issue. My DH and I were waiting for an IUI a few weeks ago and these two women were talking, right next to us and very audible, about one of the ladies 4 month old adopted baby. My DH was actually the one to bring it up on the way home - he thought is was very insenstive for her to be talking about the infant for that entire area of the waiting room to hear (for 15 minutes or so). I had to agree. I LOVE children, especially babies, but I'm glad there are only adults in our waiting room.

[jenedens6102]

This is a touchy issue for many. While I can understand, especially now, that infertility is not just primary but secondary and beyond as well.....it still is a situation that needs to be handled the best way you can. While I personally wouldn't be upset by this I know many people who would be. Why don't you call your RE's office and ask the receptionist her thoughts. She sees the people everyday and may have a better read on them.

[rhart]

If you feel like you need to ask, you probably know how people really feel. I personally have almost walked out of my RE's office when a couple brought their baby in. I think it's very insensitive.

[jagjah1030]

I never brought our daughter to an appointment because our clinic was out of state but I saw many parents who did bring their older children. I didn't have a problem with it at all. In fact, the only thing that ever upset me in the waiting room was seeing other women coming out of the office crying- seeing their despair made mine feel more acute. I also got upset seeing how many clients my RE had, knowing they were going through the same pain I was. I CERTAINLY would never begrudge any of them the happiness of having other children. The issue I would urge you to think about before bringing your child is will your child see any invasive procedures performed? This may be very traumatizing, and a reason to not bring her along. I don't want to sound callous (and maybe this does, despite my intention), but babies and children are a part of life-and we can't hide from them, or expect the world to shield us from them, no matter how painful it may be.

[Gertzy79]

Sunny - I don't think that would be insensitive at all. You have to think about what is right for you, you shouldn't cancel your appt. Just talk to them and ask what their policy is. Good luck!

[sunny72]

I haven't call as yet because I'm scared they'll say we can't bring her and then I would have to cancel. We honestly do not have anyone to babysit. It was a long struggle to have our daughter and therefore I am very overly protective of her. That's the only reason I would bring her along.

This is just the initial visit where my husband and I both need to be there and thereafter I'm sure we will be able to juggle her between our visits.

I guess I will suck it up and call. Thank you for your thoughts.

[sunny72]

Well problem solved I think. They said they have a separate waiting room for people with children which I think is a very good idea.