[KarryB]

No offense taken. we have decided that we will try three IUI's with injections. I have had 2 failed and am currently on my 3rd round. So if this one does not work, we will try naturally, but that's it. Insurance covers IUI's but not IVF, we can not afford to pay for IVF out of pocket.

[quiescentfury]

TTC was a three year journey for us. I have a bio child, but DH did not. We knew we wanted kids right away. We actually started trying right before our wedding. After no luck in six month I knew something was wrong. I got pregnant with first DS while faithfully on the pill. I thought it was my Dh's issue, but no it was me. I have endo. I was told after the lap I would be pregnant in three months, but no that did not work.

Our plan was to start the adoption process and try Clomid at the same time. We agreed that we would not go beyond clomid. Well we started adoption process Sept 2005 and we started clomid Nov 2005. We were placed with our son Jan 2006 and stopped clomid for six months, but still charted and used ovulation kits. July 2006 we restarted clomid. We did three rounds and called it quits. We started the process to become foster to adopt parents in Oct 2006. Told DH that i was reclaiming my body after three years and that he should not expect anything from me for a month. We went to a wedding out of town. Our sons stayed home with my brother. We did it that one time that month and two weeks later I was sooo sick. I took a test and was pregnant. I almost had a heart attack. We still became foster parents, but not foster to adopt. So now our home is filled. We have my bio son, our adopted son, three foster kids and our daughter is Due July 8th.

I guess what I am saying htat even if you stop trying it could happen.

[sarah16]

Thanks for the awesome story. I would love to get pregnant while not trying, unfortuately I don't usually ovulate if I'm not on meds. Your daughter is due on my anniversary! Best of health with your pregnancy.

[steph]

I am so glad I found this forum! I thought I would stop at clomid. Then, I did 3 IUIs with injectibles. I NEVER thought I would do IVF and here I am about to start. I haven't even been able to tell my mom about it yet because even during the IUIs she would say "Just be happy with your daughter". And, of course I am happy with her, but just don't feel like I can stop right now. I think that we will stop after 1 IVF, because we will be out of money, and because I am 35. Then, I feel like I can have closure. I guess I want to feel like I gave it my best shot. Some people say, just see what happens, maybe you will get pregnant on your own. But, people who say that don't realize the pain of BFN every month. I need closure. So right now, I am thinking if IVF doesn't work, I will go on birth control and totally call it quits so I don't keep wondering month after month, ya know? It is so emotionally draining and I feel like I haven't been 100% for my daughter and dh.

[sarah16]

I totally understand. I never have time for just me to worry about IF whether it's to cry, laugh, or just vent to a family member. Everyone just says be happy with what you have. Which I am but I would love to be a mom to more than one child.

[Just1More]

I can totally understand where you are coming from!! I was lucky that I conceived DS easily, but suffered complications after he was born that has damaged my fertility. If I was still TTC#1 then I would have gone to the ends of the earth to fall pregnant and done every treatment available. But it's not the same with secondary infertility (sorry, ladies, I'm sure some will disagree, but just my opinion). I often ask myself where will I draw the line with my treatment TTC#2. Do I really want to have another child that desperately to go through years of painful treatments to fall pregnant. After all, I am blessed with one child already and any more would just be a bonus. Some days the answer is yes, and other days the answer is no. I take it month to month. Every month during the 2ww I tell myself that I can't go through another month of this, the heartache and frustration. So far as AF arrives my hormomes settle down and I feel refreshed again and ready to start again. When I was having my dye studies test done I secretly hoped I would be told that I couldn't have anymore children just for some closure. Probably 8 months ago I finally came to the realisation that if I didn't end up having another child then it wouldn't be the end of the world. TTC became a bit easier to deal with after that. At the end of the day, what will be will be. You can't change what is going to happen, you can only hope, pray and keep on trying. Best of luck to all you ladies, and I hope to be hearing of your BFPs very soon.....

[Lemonheads]

I didn't take your question offensively at all. It is so extremely frustrating when you have friends that had no problem having their 2nd child, while you try, try and try again. We have only done our 2nd IUI, but I will not be doing this again. The medicines overstimulate my ovaries, causing me a great deal of pain for weeks, not days. While I would love to have a second child, it may not be in the plan for me and DH.

Good luck to all of you!

[wbntrn]

This seems like a really personal thing and different for everyone. I would have thought having 2 kids already i wouldn't go very far but I am not sure now. Its really hard to just let go of that desire if you want more. I don't have any siblings and I desperately wanted my kids to have a couple at least. I think all of the testing, thinking about dates, meds...all of it....its hard to deal with on an ongoing basis. As someone said I think i'd have done anything at all the first time....but now...I guess there might be a point where its taking over life too much and we need to live with the kids we do have. I already hate that this affects my mood and my time spent with my babies. That is not what i want. Good luck to everyone.

[HLiz]

Me: 37 - no problems
DH: 37 - no problems
DS: born 2/16/04
TTC: 2 years exactly

First time conceiving was an accident and that I conceived was nearly a miracle (using birth control). I never thought I'd have difficulty with TTC number 2.

* I've been diagnosed with 'unexplained' infertility and have had 3 months of Clomid in early 2007 which gave me bad side effects.

* Did an IUI in 8/2007 with Letrozol, HCG injection and Estradiol. Positive pregnancy test but m/c after week 4.

* Another IUI with just Letrozol and HCG injection in 12/2007. No success

* Tried another IUI 1 week ago with Letrozol, HCG injection and Estradiol. Had two large follicles. My lining was 6.5 so they gave me Estradiol and think it could be my problem.

* Crossing fingers on this round.

This is our last attempt and won't do IVF or adoption. I keep trying to say we're going to give up and move on. I'm not sure if you can really do that though unless going back on birth control. Each month I get anxious right before period starts and depressed when it starts. I just wish I could move on.

Thanks.

[MissAmanda]

I went threw all of this.Alot of us did.
When we found out we could not have a baby on our own we looked into adoption.There was just so many things we did not like about it.
When I had my tubes removed in October I was done.I did not think I could deal with IVF.
After lots of research we decided to give it a try.Now we are doing IVF.
If this fails I dont know what we will do.I dont think its going to fail or I would not be doing it.

[ampridgen]

I have been TTC on an off for the since my daughter was 2 1/2. She is now 22 1/2 and a mother in her own right. I'm at the point where I'm very happy and content leaving this in God's hand (thank you for the peace you've brought to my life Jenedens!). It's always been in God's hands, but now I'm at peace. Truth, I'm hoping God will bless us with a change-of-life baby as he has to so many.

I'm not sure that giving up is an option for some of us, even if it is just a pipe dream.

God bless all of us in our search,
Amers

[tryingtobestrong]

i am in the position of having secondary infertility. Mt first son is from my previous marriage.

We said...Natural only....then did IUI...and now are battling with the decision because we want IVF.

It is a tricky slide...once you get intervention...its very easy to do more and more in baby steps...cause in my head i think *hell, i've had all the needles ... why not do the next thing too*

mostly, i am motivated by the baby that i feel is inside me waiting to be born.

I have so many comments...have been told i am selfish for wanting another one, and yes the *at least you have 1, and even don't you love DS1* all these comments hurt...but none are true.

Wanting a 2nd child is just as powerful as wanting a 1st. some days, i'd love to just stop ttc...but to be honest i don't know how to stop

[annasmom]

Thank you to all of you for sharing your struggles. I am having a really hard time right now. I am seeking closure and peace with the decision to stop TTC#2. My husband and I both do not feel adoption is for us. I have completed 6 IUIs, all unsuccessful. My husband and I have several issues with IVF (esp. financing). He feels at peace and has closure now that we've stopped trying. I thought I had closure, but I really don't. I feel so sad when I go out with my family of three. I feel that my daughter is missing out on having a sibling. I wouldn't want to be an only child.

I'm praying for peace right now. I don't want to feel sad every day. I want to be happy that I have a beautiful child and am blessed in so many ways. I feel as if I am grieving right now. I am grieving the loss of the child I thought I'd have.