[momof2cnc]

Hi I haven't posted before so let me introduce myself. I am 33 DH is 41. Weve been married for almost 13 yrs. We have two amazing DS 11 and 9 and custody (since 7 mo old) of my niece (our sassy daughter) 4. We have been TTC for 4+ yrs 2002-2004/ 2006-present.
We are just starting our IF workup.

My question is have any of you with older children gotten discouraging comments from others??! DH and I are reluctant to tell our families we are pursing medical intervention because we are aware that they would not be supportive but..strangers??
Yesterday getting my blood drawn/prescription for DH's sperm analysis the tech's/nurses asked if I had children and when I outlined our family they joked that I must be "crazy" or "go drink some water" (implying the heat was going to my head). There were quite a few comments made and it made my heart sink. It has taken me many years to get up the nerve to take a medical approach (I have severe white coat syndrome).
Am I really crazy...??

Should I just be thankful for our blessings?

Thanks for listening.

Me-33
DH-41
DS-11
DS-9
DD-4
3 crazy goldens and a yorkie

[Kimmyblueiis]

I am not exactly in your situation, but we do have 4 children and just got pregnant from a FET. We get the "You must be crazy" type comments all the time. We had lots of support from absolutely everybody with our IVF 2 yrs ago. With this FET, we got a lot of support, but also a lot of comments we could have done without.
Just remember that how many children you choose to add to your family is yours and DH's concern and no one elses. Just because some people can't imagine having more than 2 or 3 children, doesn't mean that is the ideal family for everyone else. You will know when your family is complete, and until then you should seek all the help you need.
I think a lot of times people don't realize their jokes can be hurtful. And medical professionals should be more sensitive of your feelings, but they are not always.
Hugs
Kimmy

[momof2cnc]

Originally Posted by Kimmyblueiis

I am not exactly in your situation, but we do have 4 children and just got pregnant from a FET. We get the "You must be crazy" type comments all the time. We had lots of support from absolutely everybody with our IVF 2 yrs ago. With this FET, we got a lot of support, but also a lot of comments we could have done without.
Just remember that how many children you choose to add to your family is yours and DH's concern and no one elses. Just because some people can't imagine having more than 2 or 3 children, doesn't mean that is the ideal family for everyone else. You will know when your family is complete, and until then you should seek all the help you need.
I think a lot of times people don't realize their jokes can be hurtful. And medical professionals should be more sensitive of your feelings, but they are not always.
Hugs
Kimmy

Thanks Kimmy. It's so nice to not feel judged.

It's great your family was behind you during this process. I'm sorry that you had to deal with those comments.
It is hard to not have support from our friends and families as we enter the world of ART but my dh and I have decided to keep this journey to ourselves. I posted this somewhere else and someone reminded me that all the support I really need is from my dh. This is so true...but it sure is nice to know you wonderful ladies are here!!

Congrats on your +!

[chiquita11]

sorry you're going through this, it's very tough, but you're still young (believe it or not!) and there's lots of hope and science and medicine and on your side. Have you talked to an RE? how long have you been trying, you can also find more about secondary infertility and ask some experts/doctors at no charge, try FertilityTies
best of luck and sending you babydust!

[Jes08]

Hi ladies! I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that I am so glad I found this forum. I have been insecure with the fact that I have 2 beautiful children ages 9 and 6 but yet I want one more child so badly. It is difficult for people to understand this desire because they think we have the perfect family..a boy and a girl, however I always pictured myself with a big family and lots of grandkids!! I have been ttc for 2 years total but 6 months seeking fertility help. I just had IUI #2 and I am in the 2ww. I have really enjoyed reading your posts...I feel like I'm not crazy after all.

[cybrella]

Hi all,

we have a wonder 14 year old son, and have been TTC forEVER!

People can be cruel! we wanted a bigger family, and it just didn't happen. Some people say to be happy with what you have, which I am... but it feels incomplete.

Now, here we are... Trying IVF for the 1st time. I guess we have a teenage babysitter :-)

Best wishes to all of you!