[gbaby]

I'm 47 and have two teenage daughters. I've been married for almost one year to my best friend. I love him dearly. I knew he wanted a child and together, we have done 4 IVF cycles but my eggs aren't cooperating. Now, he wants to move to an egg donor. It was one thing if the child was ours but having a stranger's baby as the mom is not something I can accept. I fear that if I go through with this, it would ruin our marriage anyway. If I don't, then he's going to divorce me. Any advice?

[BabySteps]

Wow this is a tough one. I used donor eggs and my DH and I are extremely happy and feel blessed to have the opportunity to become parents this way. It is something both parents have to accept and feel comfortable doing. If you are dead set against it and your DH will divorce you if you don't ~ well then you have some issues that need to be addressed. Have you talked to a doctor about using donor eggs? Are you at all open to learning more about it? There are quite a few on this board who have decided to go that way with our ivf journey. There is lots of support here for you. I hope that something works out for you and your marriage survives.

I am sorry that you find yourself in this situation and that your previous IVF cycles did not work.

[MarisaD]

I went through 5 IVF cycles that all failed before I decided to move onto an egg donor. I'm currently pregnant with donor eggs and I could not be happier. This little life is growing inside of me. I'm the one supplying everything he or she needs to survive. I feel very fortunate and blessed!
Good luck with your decision.

[Emilysmom]

I would start with counselling. It is required any way at least with our RE to consider egg donor or embryo adoption. Our RE has many counsellors that he recommends who specializes in infertility issues. Maybe then some of both of your issues could be addressed. Good Luck!

[Dee2008]

WOW
This is difficult this baby will always be your child you would be the birth mother. Much different than a step mother.Some times it good to put ourselves in our spouses shoes or how would I feel if it was me. Think about it do the research and counseling you both want a child together. Talk with him about your fears. what ever you do do it from the heart and with the mind you can live with your decision. Good Luck to you.
me 38
dh 44
ttc 3yrs
PCOS
IUI 2 BFN
IUI #3 June

[shasie]

I'm having the opposite issue with my husband. I want to use donor eggs and DH sperm. But DH won't cooperate. We are seeing marriage counselor right now. Sounds like counseling might help here.