[smoss]

The last time I was on this website, I was typing up my exciting news of being pregnant with twins. My husband and I were on cloud 9 with every star and rainbow sitting next to us.Sad to say on Aug 7th my water broke prematurely. The emergency room triage nurse checked me vaginally and found both heart beats with the doppler, but the doctor never asked her to order an ultrasound. I was sent home after the exam and was NEVER told my water broke. Then to top it off, I was told to make a follow-up appointment for next week and not the following business day.Me being courteous George called my OBGYN when the office open and was told to come in for evaluation. So I went in for an ultrasound and found out that my son's sac burst leaving him without any amniotic fluid;his foot was in my cervix and his umbilical cord was in my vaginal. I was immediately transferred to a high risk perioneonatal physician for a follow-up. I was told all the risk factors up front. My doctor did not want to mess with him as long as he had a strong heart beat and showed no signs of distress. She did mention in his risk factors that I may deliver him on Monday which was three days from my water breaking. My daughter was find and healthy with a strong heart beat and lots of movement.
On Monday, I delivered him that morning at 17weeks, weighing only 4 ozs. My little angel worked his little heart out until his fragile body gave out. My doctor repeated the ultrasound and found out that my then healthy baby girl's sac was ruptured because when I delivered my son, he ripped her sac so it did not leave her with much to go on being only 17weeks. With twins apparently there was a connection with the placenta that they shared is what caused this to happen.
So I ended up losing both babies a day apart, Aug 10th and Aug 11th I delivered two stillbirth babies a boy and a girl that I prayed for for many years. Then this happens. My husband and I is just mentally and financially drained, this was our second IVF cycle. We lost our first baby one year ago the exact same month. I remained strong the entire time I was in the hospital for the sack of trying to help save at least one baby. All I have left is my faith, but now I find myself often than before questioning it. Right now I feel lost, hopeless and very bitter. I am tired of holding on and being strong because it does not seem to ever work.I do not know what God's plan is for us, but I feel as if all my sanity and strength has dissipated to shredd.

[flashgal24]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is heartbreaking what happened. I do not understand why things like this happen to people, but I do know that God has a plan. And you should hold onto your faith. I miscarried at 9 weeks, and eventhough the magnitude is not the same, it was my child nonetheless. I have found that God will never throw more at you than he thinks you are prepared to handle. And right now, it seems like this is anything but true. But I have faith that God will heal your heart, and that your children are with Him now. It is devestating, but take comfort knowing they aren't hurting, they are blessed to be in His presence. And eventhough it kills you now, one day you will be with them. And one day, God will bless you and your husband again. Hold onto your faith. I'll be praying for you both.

[Czech_Girl]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son and daughter. Although this doesn't change things, why didn't anyone tell you about your water breaking? I hope you find the answers that you need to find some peace.

I lost twin girls at 20 weeks 6 days. Essentially one of my twins had placental issues and stopped developing, and my body went into labor. It was the hardest thing I have ever endured.

Lots of for you and your DH right now.

[AlmostErin]

I am so, so sorry to hear this terrible news. I miscarried on the 11th as well, although much, much earlier along than you. I am struggling, so I cannot imagine what you are experiencing at this moment. My heart goes out to you and your husband. You obviously have fought so hard, for so long! I've made arrangements to see a therapist. I'm hoping it helps, I don't know. When you are ready and able to function a bit again, maybe that might help you too. I am so, so sorry, once again. My prayers are with you.

[Hazeld0409]

My goodness, my heart broke as I read your story. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I feel like we struggle so much to get here and then cannot enjoy our pregnancies but I pray for comfort for you and DH so you can heal from this tragedy. I am sorry the hospital did not seem to handle things properly and I hope they don't out someone else through this experience. Hang in sweety!

[jjbaxter]

I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I am for you and your DH I hope somehow down the road you find some peace my heart breaks just hearing this.

[chantalTTC]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It seems so unfair, especially after what you'd already been through. I pray for you and your dh that you will get through this in time. I hope you have a good support system around you. If not, please reach out and seek support from your church or friends and family - you'll need their love to get through this. Take care o' you.

[Cathi025]

I am so sorry, you are going through this. I went through a simular thing 10 months ago with triplets, ultimately loosing all three. Please, when you feel better you can go to my triplet blog, it explains a lot of what I did to help the healing process. I also have been seeing a therapist since Jan. It has really helped. We are also expecting again. There have been a lot of emotions, I just wanted you to know that you will never get over this but you will be able to move past it and be happy again. Good luck to you and just know you are not alone...

[futuremom2b]

I am so sorry to hear of your news. Were you not seeing perinatologist in the first place with twins? Also will the test you for some blood disorder that could cause placenta abruption? I would ask for several testing as this would be 3 losses and insurance should pay for it. I know right now you are just dealing with sadness, but knowing what went wrong might prevent this from happening again (as I have experience with).
I am sending you a great big hug, and prayer.

I know what it's like to feel like God isn't with you, but he is, I PROMISE YOU..... I PROMISE.

[Smee]

I am so sorry for your loss....I am at a loss for words. I pray that God takes u in his hand cari=ries you and DH through this difficult time.

[smoss]

Originally Posted by futuremom2b

I am so sorry to hear of your news. Were you not seeing perinatologist in the first place with twins? Also will the test you for some blood disorder that could cause placenta abruption? I would ask for several testing as this would be 3 losses and insurance should pay for it. I know right now you are just dealing with sadness, but knowing what went wrong might prevent this from happening again (as I have experience with).
I am sending you a great big hug, and prayer.

I know what it's like to feel like God isn't with you, but he is, I PROMISE YOU..... I PROMISE.

Hi futuremom2b,
I did not see the perinatologist until my obgyn did an ultrasound and found twin A's sac ruptured prematurely and his foot was in my cervix and umbilical cord in my vagina. My husband and I was checked for genetic disorders and chromosome abnormalities before we got pregnant and after my first miscarriage. My obgyn had an autopsy performed on my son only because my daughter was perfect without any abnormalities she just was unfortunate because when my son delivered he ripped her sac. So we should have our autopsy results here soon.Our son was born with a congential defect called "Abdominal wall defect" something that happened in his development, it wasn't something that was based on heredity. But we should know something here soon and we are starting counseling tomorrow to help us get on with life. Thanks for responding.

[daisy2006]

I am so sorry for your loss. I experienced the loss of my triplets this past January, and I know all too well the pain that you are going through. I can understand the bitterness, hopelessness, and anger. I have been there. I still struggle w/ my feelings and try to rationalize why this happened to us. I still have not found an answer, but I know there has to be some plan for us. Nobody should have to endure such a loss. It does get better.

We are planning on proceeding w/ another IVF, but I am so scared. I could never handle a loss like that again. I wish you all the strength and healing. Please feel free to pm if you want to talk.

[hopin4baby]

I'm so sorry.

[futuremom2b]

Originally Posted by smoss

Hi futuremom2b,
I did not see the perinatologist until my obgyn did an ultrasound and found twin A's sac ruptured prematurely and his foot was in my cervix and umbilical cord in my vagina. My husband and I was checked for genetic disorders and chromosome abnormalities before we got pregnant and after my first miscarriage. My obgyn had an autopsy performed on my son only because my daughter was perfect without any abnormalities she just was unfortunate because when my son delivered he ripped her sac. So we should have our autopsy results here soon.Our son was born with a congential defect called "Abdominal wall defect" something that happened in his development, it wasn't something that was based on heredity. But we should know something here soon and we are starting counseling tomorrow to help us get on with life. Thanks for responding.

I hope you post your news on your son, but it doesn't sound like you will get more info than you already have.
Being pregnant with twins (right now) and reading your post made me so sad for you and DH (I can imagine the pain, you are going through, and I am so sorry). I am glad that you will start counseling and I think it's healthy that you can talk about it here, I'm not so sure I would be able to. After my first MC I was so angry with God and the situation and I hardly posted, it was too hard and painful to see everyone else get or be pregnant.
God isn't fair, but he is great, I don't know why this is your plan, I only hope and pray that you will be blessed again with a child. If you ever need to talk or need some one to listen feel free to PM, I don't log on here much any more.
We suffered loss number 2 and 3 when we lost our twins early on in March 2009, and when we got pregnant this time (again with twins) ~ I just didn't want to be scared anymore (like I still am), so it was easier to just stay away! I do feel like you are an amazing person for sharing.
Sending you a big hug, I wish I had more to give.
Dre

[smoss]

Originally Posted by daisy2006

I am so sorry for your loss. I experienced the loss of my triplets this past January, and I know all too well the pain that you are going through. I can understand the bitterness, hopelessness, and anger. I have been there. I still struggle w/ my feelings and try to rationalize why this happened to us. I still have not found an answer, but I know there has to be some plan for us. Nobody should have to endure such a loss. It does get better.

We are planning on proceeding w/ another IVF, but I am so scared. I could never handle a loss like that again. I wish you all the strength and healing. Please feel free to pm if you want to talk.

Daisy2006,
Thanks for sharing your story with me. My husband and I just started counseling classes that's held twice a month. It's nice to be surrounded with others who share related stories to let us know we are not alone.We also turned to church members who dealt with the pain and losses as well. It's so hard to keep focusing on another IVF cycle because we are afraid of the "what if's". It is so unfair because I know we will be great parents. Did you ever find out what happen to cause your sac to rupture prematurely?