[einstein]

If you have dealt with such a terrible tragedy as a stillborn, would you still try to conceive? Or would you decide to move to another route like adoption, surrogate, etc? Would you constantly fear that the same thing could happen if you got pregnant again?

[sezangel]

I've experienced the tragdy of a stilborn baby!! I was pregnant again within 8 months of loosing him!! After we lost him i could only think of having another baby!! When i got pregnant again i didn't really bond as i was scared throughout the pregancy of losing the baby!! It wasn't until she was born that i was able to bond with her!!!! I think i will always be like that and am so greatful that i was able to have a baby that was born alive

[einstein]

I'm sure that you were terrified when you got pg again. I can't even imagine how scary it would be to live through that. My friend's brother and sister in law had a stillborn baby girl after years of miscarriages and infertility. They didn't have another child until four years later in 2001. Then, they had a girl in 2003 and just had another baby girl in 2005. I am so happy that they have had healthy children after the horrible ordeal they have been through. Many hugs to you, sweetie.

[aaronsgrl2005]

I am with you guys all the way about being scared of having stillborn. I for some reason keep having miscarriages in the last 4 or so years I have had 4 miscarriages.This last miscarriage I just had I was really scared when I first found outand I just tried to think positive through it all and even though I did that it still ended in miscarriage. The only good outcome out of it is that my doctors are going to do a bunch of tests to see what is wrong why I keep having miscarriages. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. It is very devastating for all this to happen. When I went to the doctor today april 27th they did another ultrasound to find there was no heartbeat. We were devastated. I am actually scared to even start trying for another child nor do I know when I can start trying for another child.

[sarah16]

My friend just found out two weeks ago that her baby doesn't have any kidneys. She was 5 months pregnant. She had to deliver early, there was nothing they could do for the baby. I feel so bad for her.

[jencat215]

I haven't had that experience, but after my m/c's I wanted to get pg right away. I can't imagine the terrible pain and agony of giving birth to a stillborn. I think if this did happen, I would want to try again, especially if they could figure out why it happened and were reassuring that it wasn't guaranteed to happen again.

[Caitysmom]

I am new here but thought I might be able to contribute. My DD was born 3/2/05 at 22 5/7 wks. She weighed in at 1lb 5ozs 11 1/2 inches long. He was diagnosed w/ Down Syndrome & a VSD{heart defect}. I was devastated & could not even think of being pregnant again for a while. It was actually my Ob that said that I needed to get back on the horse. I went off the bcp in 10/05 & was pregnant 2/06. My DS was born 11/2/06.

[webjema]

My friends cannot have child... infection. He treat it (genital herpes) and we hope they'll can! =)
But sometimes they think about adoption...

[danijess11rt]

I recently lost my Connor on 1/26/08. He was born still at only a mere 21 weeks. I miss him soooo much that I can barely take it sometimes. So your pain is my pain as well. Though I need some time to heal I have been considering for the future IUI. I want so bad to have a child and I miss my Connor dearly that I feel that is my only route. I would have to use donor sperm though because Connor's father took off after he found out my little one was having problems. Piece of work isnt he? But I am very afraid of another loss and tragedy so I know how you feel. Im 22 and I know I have time, but my heart doesnt feel that way. Messege me privately sometime, I would love to talk to you more. Good luck.

[AnxiousCouple]

My wife and I have suffered a still birth back in 2004. at nearly 8 months pregnant. He was 14" and 4lbs

Diagnosis was Pre-Eclampsia and placenta abruption.

Days later wife devloped a heart condition. Now she is fully recovered and we decided to try again.

[babydecker]

My DH and I had our four month old baby boy pass away in June 2007. He was born with a birth defect that was supposed to be fixable but he never recovered from his last surgery. We have been nervous about going through something like this again but at the same time we remember the pure joy that our baby brought us. In trying again over the last 10 months, we have had two miscarriages. We are still not ready to give up though.

There are no guarantees in life. Sometimes you learn this the hard way. But there is no greater gift then bringing life into this world. Don't let fear stop you from your dreams. That's just my two cents...

[charms]

I delivered my twins at 20w5/6 days the first was stillborn and the second lived for a few hours before passing on.

I dont believe that my sons would want their parents to not try again. I believe that God allowed us to have 18 frozen embryos so that we would try again. It was not our time to have his angels.

We tried 3 months after with a FET, which resulted in a BFN.
we tried with clomid the following month leaving 16 embryos still frozen and concieved twins - one of which has passed and this one is now past the 18wk mark.

the desire to have a family is an incredible strength when you believe that in one day God will provide in his time your hearts desire.

[hopeful2bmom]

Originally Posted by einstein

If you have dealt with such a terrible tragedy as a stillborn, would you still try to conceive? Or would you decide to move to another route like adoption, surrogate, etc? Would you constantly fear that the same thing could happen if you got pregnant again?

My mom had a stillborn two years before she had me.
I just asked her thins question.
She said:
..." I was not afraid to get pregnat again, I wanted to be pregnant right away. At the beginning I think I was a little afraid but once I got to a certain point in the pregnancy and felt different that the last time, I stopped worrying."...

She knew at four months that something was wrong. She kept telling the doctors that she did not feel pregnat and that something was just not right. They did not beleive her and in those days did not have the technology to see what was going on.

Somehow and I don't remember how or when, they told her he baby was dead and that she would have to carry full term and deliver vaginally.
My poor mom- I get so sad everytime I hear her tell this story. My my is a fighter, she was not giving up.
She also endured breast cancer at the age of 40 and survived. I would have given up- I think.

[evita]

It is a tragedy which i wish no one should experience it in their lives. Though i didn't have this experience but my sis in law (cousin) had delivered a stillborn boy. She didn't want to have C-section though the docs told them about the repercussions. And the baby got stressed out! Soon after she had a baby girl. Now they have two perfectly healthy daughters.