[bunniswife]

I don't know what to do. My DH and I have moved to a strange city to prepare for the birth of our twins, one of which has a severe congenital heart defect. In the meantime, he has taken over caring for both me and our daughter but it's getting to him. He can't understand why I can't just run out and go shopping with him in this huge city or why I'm too tired to want to go out somewhere nice for dinner. Not only that but he's been rough almost to the point of being physically abusive with our daughter who is three. He can't cope with being her sole caretaker and his frustration level is so high my heart is breaking...Not only did he ***** about me to his brother (all she does is sit on the couch and I have to do everything....) but hearing him yell at and berate our daughter for typical toddler behaviour is breaking my heart. I asked him to leave today and go home because I can't cope with the stress of his frustration level as well as what we're going through with our pregnancy. He is so angry right now I can't even talk to him about the way he is behaving because he is infuriated with the suggestion that his parenting skills may not be up to par right now. Any suggestions before I boot his *** out of here???

[Passionscientist]

Hey hon -

I can only imagine what you are going through. I'm on bedrest myself and have witnessed a small amount of what you are going through with my DH (only without an extra toddler)...and I can imagine it has to be difficult on both of you. I don't know if this is an option, but could you have a good friend or family member fly out to be with you to help relieve some of the stress from both of you? I know that may be tough and I don't know the living situation there either. Also, maybe you could hire a day nanny to help take care of your daughter and help with running errands or something. It's not the cheapest alternative but I've thought about doing that myself when I get put on more permanent bed rest later on in term.

I will keep thinking of extra ideas too.

Hugs!

[cherryberry]

Grumpy men! You poor thing as if you didn't have enough to worry about. Kristen's right to suggest a helper but if you need to keep your pennies for the twins, maybe a local pastor, priest, imam or rabbi would know a kindly someone who could help out for an hour or two. Daddy isn't very fair to vent with his brother but I bet it'll do him a power of good in the end if he can struggle through and become a better parent. He better be fully operational before the twins come along needing special care! Anyway, pray for celestial intervention and I believe you won't be dissapointed but if you're not of the heavenwards persuasion, be on the safe size and leave his *** alone until you get a replacement ! For your little girl and you, just lots of hugs -
Cherry Berry (2WW countdown)

P.S., maybe lest he's sore to have you notice his poor parenting skills, try , "she usually likes this....", "she usually responds to that...", "maybe you could try.... with her instead", "your mother said this or that used to work with you ......??"