[sarah16]

My husband right now is totally against IVF because of the cost and adoption because of carrying on the "family name". I get frustrated because there is no compromise either you go on with IF treatment or you don't.

Does anyone else have this problem and if so what have you done about it? I am someone who wants to talk about it until I get my way and my DH will just start to ignore me. I need that sometimes but sometimes I just want to get to his real feelings, like hello, when you adopt they take your name. It's the same thing!! His adoption reasons are so dumb (sorry) it's just very frustrating!!

[Jacklyn]

Sorry, to hear this, Sarah. I guess sometimes people take some time to come to terms with the fact that if they want a baby they need to either go for a treatment or adopt.
I go through that every month, like one month I am totally against IVF and then I feel that we should give it a shot and then I am all for researching adoption, but am scared.
Even my husband is not so keen on adoption at this point and he does not want to put me through IVF either coz its too invasive.
Of course, we are all hoping that we get pregnant and we do not need to deal with such issues, but not sure what the future has in store for us. (By "we", I mean, everyone going through IF)
I would say give yourself and your husband some time and hopefully you will find a resolution. And of course, pray for the best and for God to show you the way.
It might help to talk to some people who have adopted. I think what your husband is feeling is a very "guy" way of thinking, but he might change his mind if he's able to talk to someone who has already done this.
<<Hugs>>
- Jacklyn

[tulip23]

I am sorry that u r in such a predicament,but u know what..this is so typical of so many guys..even my DH is against adoption and though he is ready for IVF he is not keen on taking too many attempte..I had to peater him ..show how much it meant to me to have a baby and do some of other "guy melting" ricks to finally make him ready for the IVF but no adoption still...Guys are a difficult nut to crack .May be ur DH needs some more time..give him some and may b u can finally convince him.And may b u dont need either IVF or adoption ..lets hope u have a baby without any IVF All the best!!!!

[nedege24]

girl i am right with you, My DH is totally against IF treatment for now , said if in the next 11 months nothing happens then he would be happy to do anything and dont even bother to say the work adoption around him, but you know what always work for me, just give him alittle bit of and then 1 of this and the talk to him afterwards if you know what i mean and everything should be OK.

[kcmour]

I'm so sorry. My husband feels the same way & it can be very frustrating. My DH is also against most IF treatments. He thinks we should just be thankful for what we have (which I am). I get upset with him sometimes, but, I always try to tell him how I am feeling so I don't start to resent him.