[laurarhodes]

This may sound crazy but does anyone ever fear your DH will leave you for a fertile women? Do you feel like you've let him down and you sometimes think about doing what Sarah did in the bible and let Abraham have a child with her hand maiden? Like before you could never even think of that but now it's like "well maybe that might work? It's crazy! I know DH loves me but that look on his face every month is the worst!! Plus the comments made about "Doing (insert acticity) with our children". When we got DH's test results back (3 times above average) he did a little dance and said "My boys can swim" I literally screamed and slammed the door on him!!!! Does it ever get better? Does the fear and almost shame ever go away? I'm I just crazy?

[gingerj]

I've felt the same thing at times. I want to give DH a child soooo bad! However, I know he loves me and there are so many options these days that you need to stay positive!! I don't fear he'll leave me for a "fertile" woman but at times think the tension & emotional stress of the whole IF process really can put strains on a marriage. Hang in there and use DH as your support too! Use the forum to vent!! Most men just don't know how we feel or how to handle our emotions at times. (I've slammed the door a time or two myself because of something he's said, very unintentional in hurting my feelings!) I wish you all the best and luck!!

[wannabmom1979]

Wow I thought I was the only 1 that felt that way,its nice to know other people feel the same way.My DH and I have been married almost 2 years and together over 8 years and he has always wanted kids and I was on the fence for years whether I did or not but 2 years ago is when my clock really started ticking and now its all i want is to be a mom.I am sooooo afraid my DH will leave me if we cant have a baby.He swears he wont but he is only 28 and I feel like when all his friends have babies he will feel left out and that will eat away at our relationship.I dont know if I will be ok NOT having kids and so afraid my marriage wont last.He is perfectly healthy and sometimes I feel like leaving him b/c he is young and can start over and have a big happy family with someone,I know it sounds crazy but he didnt ask for this,on the other hand he is the love of my life and couldnt bare losing him.I know this whole TTC thing is incredibly frustrating well thanks for reading

[Danilstewart]

Yup I fear that too. Just a quick overview. Was with ex hubby for 8 yrs, couldn't deal with guilt/stress ect of infertility. I lost it and left. He has now found someone else. I have a wonderful man in my life. The poor guy I told him on our first date, so he knows the score but I am petrified he will decide it is too much to go tru all this with me, that it is too hard and he will leave. You are not alone. WE have been fighting a lot latley which makes it worse. I just try to hold on, to remember why we fell in love in the first place. Leaving him first is not a good idea. I am haunted by what could have been if I had stayed. Hang in there, this is the hardest thing you will probably ever go thru. Just think how strong you both will be when you get thru this. There is light at the end of the tunnel... we just don't know how long that tunnel is.

Dani

[SFBaygirl]

There are so many fears related to IF.

I am in the opposite situation, DH has azoospermia. I imagine that men with IF feel the same way, maybe even more so because our society often confuses the number of sperm present with being a man. This is of course ridiculous.

I am sure your DH didn't marry your ovarys, uterus or eggs but you. Your smile, warmth, personality etc.

I feel that a marriage that ends over IF, and I am sure that many do, are not probably destined to last anyway. Every marriage has stresses and troubles, how we deal with them is what makes a marriage great or one that ends.

I would certainly never leave my DH over the azoo. He didn't do it on purpose and there are so many ways to have a child even if not by the traditional means. We as a couple existed first anyway.

[bostonyankee]

Originally Posted by SFBaygirl

There are so many fears related to IF.

I am in the opposite situation, DH has azoospermia. I imagine that men with IF feel the same way, maybe even more so because our society often confuses the number of sperm present with being a man. This is of course ridiculous.

.

We do totally feel that way.