[lei_lei_1026]

Hi everyone...I'm new to this forum and to the concept of support groups online. I thought I could deal with my feelings on my own but I have realized I need to "talk" to others who are in the same positoin as me, infertile and heartbroken. I have some great friends whom I know mean well but it is difficult to speak to people who have kids or who are pregnant. Of course it is easy for them to say to me that "it will happen", "don't think about it too much", "try not to stress", and so on. In addition, it is difficult to want to talk to any of my friends who are pregnant. One good friend is having her baby shower on March 16th and I have been helping her mom and mother in-law plan the shower. A part of me wants to come up with an excuse not to go but I know I can't. I'll be in the room with two of my other good friends who are also pregnant. I am anticipating an emotional afterwards when I'm in the safety of my home.

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now and nothing has come to fruition. A month ago we made the decision to seek the help of a fertility specialist. This past month we did timed intercourse with Clomid. I have been on the Clomid for 4 months, 3 with just my OBGYN and 1 with specialist.
I just got my AF today which means I will be in the doc's office on Monday to start IUI for the next cycle. Is there any info that you can share with me in regards to this procedure? Any would be greatly appreciated.

Every month has been a disappointing and heartbreaking. In the past month I have been more sad than all the sadness throughout my life. It is hard to keep the faith and continue to have hope. My husband and I have been through the whole "it's not fair" scenario. Watching news stories of people who are horrible parents, prostitutes and drug addicts having children. Yet there are really good people who can't concieve and would make loving parents. It seems very imbalanced and so unfair. Such is life, right?

My husband and I had a discussion last week, early in the morning about the possibility that we may not have a child. And that we need to start accepting that reality. We have decided to try the IUI for a couple months and if nothing pans out then we are going to stop. I don't know how much disappointment I can handle. I know I have read people's stories of trying for 5 years and I can not see myself going that long. Hope is something that I have always had but it seems as if it is slowly fading away. I know that my husband is just as affected as I am and if anything it has brought us that much closer, in the past few months. He no longer tries to make me feel better by saying things but rather he just listens and holds me.

I feel that by joining a support group such as this, I can keep the hope alive with the help of you. I hope I can do the same for you all. With this being said, any thoughts and discussions will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.....I know it has made me feel a little bit better writing some of my thoughts and feelings down, a form of therapy for me that I need to get back into.

[lovingwife]

to the group. You will find plenty of support from all the wonderful ladies here. We can all relate to the feelings you express. IF sucks and it's not fair. Check out the IUI thread for tons of great info from the ladies over there. Sorry that you have to deal with pregnant people and babies showers-not fun!!

[chantalTTC]

Jen, welcome to the forum. You're among sisters here. This is not a 'club' anyone of us ever wanted to join, but I hope you find as much support and comfort here as I have. If you'd told me 4 years ago that I'd have to go through 6 months of clomid, an IUI, 4 IVFs on my own and then finally do donor egg IVF, I would have thought 'No way can I survive that!'. I surprised myself with what I was willing to do to become a mom...and like you said, it's made me and my dh so much stronger and closer for it. I think the worst part is not knowing just how much you'll have to endure to have a family. You'll know when you've done enough and that point is different for everyone.

I wish you all the best and I hope you are an IUI success story. There are tons of ladies on this site who have been successful with IUI - so you have every reason to believe it'll work!

Best wishes to you and your dh!

[Sarah_84]

!!! I'm glad you found us! I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time, IF is horrible. If you go to the forum categories (its the grey section near the top of the page) Click on infertility treatment then right at the bottom of that list is IUIs. Join us over there. The girls on here are absolutely wonderful and are willing to answer any questions you might have. I have done 4 IUI's now on injectables. The last one worked but unfortunately it did not end well. It was ectopic. I have pcos and endo. Clomid did not work for me, I was on it for months. IUI's take a lot of the guess work out of ttc because they monitor you a lot closer with ultra sounds. I would do 100 if I had to. I'm glad you have a supportive husband, it really helps. Take care of yourself and I hope to see you on the IUI board. xoxoxo

[sarah16]

Just wanted to say welcome and good luck with your IUI.

[scrappyqban]

Hi Jen,
Welcome to the club no one wants or hopes to be a member of. All of the ladies on this forum are absolutely incredible. We pray and cheer for each other on the good days and on the bad days we console and send group hugs to each other. This forum is full of an enormous amount of valuable information. No question is a stupid question and we are here to listen to you vent. Once again welcome and feel free to share your thoughts, experiences and your soon to be .

[babyplease]

Welcome!! First of all let me say that I am sorry for your distress at this time. As the previous ladies have all said, you are among friends here. We all have the same thing in common unfortunately but we are all trying to reach the same goal. You will find so much support here. In good times and when you just need a good cry. I don't believe that any of us ever thought that we would be here. No one knows how much or how far they will be willing to go to conceive until they begin. Just take it day by day and you will know when enough is enough. Lots of babydust to you and everyone else ttc right now. You are among friends,