[ynotme]

A dear friend invited me to her baby shower and I declined. I'm happy for her but at the same time angry becuase I want so badly to be pg. Am I wrong for declining?

[kblythe]

Absolutely not. I did the same thing myself when I was trying so hard to get pregnant and after having suffered a miscarriage. I think it's important to recognize ahead of time how difficult such a shower might be and to protect yourself.

Kathryn.

[frymomma2b]

Not wrong just make sure to send a gift. if she is a dear friend she will understand.

[Czech_Girl]

I think you have every right to decline the invite, but if she is a great friend, you may regret not being there for her during her special time.

A lot of my friends had baby showers when DH and I were in the middle of IVF - it was hard to suck it up and go, but now I'm so glad that I did. All my friends are now my cheering section and planning a wonderful baby shower for me. IVF sucks but don't let it get in the way of the friendships you share. You may regret it later on.

[casb77]

Nope, you're absolutely not wrong for declining to put yourself in a situation you don't want to be in. I've declined several in the last couple years.

The most recent was right before our egg retrieval and there was a very good chance we'd truly be out of town the day of the shower. The mom-to-be knew the truth, and when I told her we ended up actually being in town that day she said it was better that I wasn't there. The whole shower they only talked about pregnancy and babies and everyone who didn't already have kids was asked when they were planning on it. Even my friend's sister, who has three kids, was sick of all the baby talk by the time the shower ended.

[Laurenr]

No, I had to decline one the other day as well. It is normal for us to feel this way. I am happy for my friend as well, but it hurts to go to showers because it reminds me of the hurt and pain I feel daily. Don't feel bad, glad to know others feel this way.

[Neta]

Originally Posted by Czech_Girl

I think you have every right to decline the invite, but if she is a great friend, you may regret not being there for her during her special time.

A lot of my friends had baby showers when DH and I were in the middle of IVF - it was hard to suck it up and go, but now I'm so glad that I did. All my friends are now my cheering section and planning a wonderful baby shower for me. IVF sucks but don't let it get in the way of the friendships you share. You may regret it later on.

I agree with u, on ur comment, We r blessed this second go round and people that were preggo before me r now my cheer and pep group. It is amazing they r fussing at us 4 buying things that they want to get for us. Make sure that ur friend understands why u turned her down she may not be as forgiving when ur blessed, make sure u send a good gift. Blessings 2 u it will be ur turn soon just keep ur eyes on the prize.
Neta

[ynotme]

Now I see that I'm not alone in my feelings....thanks for sharing ladies. The shower is August 16th, so I have some time to have a change of heart. I just don't want to be a party pooper if I go.

[Jezebel1023]

i agree with the majority of the posts. you have every right to not be able to attend but i would send a card and a gift to show your support as i'm sure you still support her. i truly believe that negativity breeds negativity and it is ok to be jealous or envious of someone for a hot minute but if you get stuck dwelling on those 'why not me' feelings...then you really do get STUCK there. try and stay positive. what will be will be

[bq122]

I, too had a couple of baby showers that I was invited to while stimming I couldnt go. I sent a gift with a family member or a friend.
All who invited me understood why I couldnt go. So if the person is a good friend they will understand the hurt you are going thru.
It is so true, a baby shower is really hard woman sit there and just talk about baby things. Unless you are an extremely strong person I would avoid it.

[shasie]

I went to a birthday party held for my friend's 4 year old son. This was 1 week after I got my BFN. It didn't turn out well. I was unsociable and had to leave early.

It's ok to feel the way you feel and decline!