[savannah]

i had been handling this whole infertility thing somewhat decently, but this weekend i was square in the middle of a cruel joke. i was at a work party last night and there were at least 4 babies (and, of course, all the questions about "when are YOU having a baby?" "shouldn't YOU be next?" etc.) then, shopping today i saw, and i kid you not, close to 15 pregnant women. then tonight we went to a function with my husband's extended family (none of whom know our situation), and there were at least 10 children there, and one who looked exactly like my husband at that age. it is honestly just too much. i feel lower than i have in quite a while. how do you handle this? it is all so unfair.

[bistro]

Hi Savannah - I agree, that's one of the hardest things. Summer is the worst because you notice more pregnancies because there are no coats to cover up the bellies! I was out and about in a crowded place yesterday and saw soooo many expectant mommies! It was hard.

I have no advice for you on how to handle it, but you are not alone. This is the hardest thing most of us will have to go through and I try to take comfort knowing that if I can get through this with a sane mind, I can do anything!

[praying4miracles]

Oh sweetie,
I agree it is so hard! I have been at this for 7 years, and all I can say is the frustration of babies everywhere goes in spurts. The first 2 years I had the hardest time with babies every where, and women saying: gosh he just looks at me and I am pregnant. Or when people are prego and say yah we aren't too excited about it yet!

I hate that. My husband's siblings have now 20 total babies between them And there are only 4 siblings.

So what helps me now is saying to my self... I would never want another women to go through what I am going through. And I say that every time I feel like women are flaunting their pregnancy in front me of course not on purpose. Prayers for strength get me through those phases. And one day you will have a baby. Also I got to the point after 7 years, if people ask me so when are you two going to start your family... I say well we have been trying for 7 years and are taking it each day at a time. That usually shuts them right up. Good luck!!!

[Treble.being.a.Mommy]

Hi all -- especially Savannah,

I know EXACTLY what you are going through. The worst part of my situation is that I work with mothers and babies every week -- I teach early childhood music. Gosh, you'd think being around so many babies and pregnant mommies, some of those good vibes would have rubbed off on me. Not the case.

I've tried a couple of things from time to time to get me through it -- the first I remember is that when my time comes, I'm going to CHERISH my baby so much, because I will NEVER forget the heartache, tears, and frustration my DH and I are going through. I don't care if the baby screams and cries every day for the first two years of it's life -- that's how badly I want one of my own. And I often wonder if mommies who have kids so easily think in this manner -- maybe they do.

The other thing I remind myself is that I don't necessarily know their stories either. Sure, some got pregnant pretty easily, and I know that. But hey, maybe one of these other mommies had a tough time, too.

And of course, thank God for forums like this -- for I know I'm not alone.

I will for you as well -- hang in there!

[lisab1978]

I know how you feel. we have been trying for a baby for 5 years and in that time 2 of my step-daughters have had babies and other family members, and it gets that hard that i have to lock myself away and cry especially as one of them lives with me. you can't step out the door without seeing a baby or a pregnant woman. i just have to tell myself that it will be my turn soon and grin and bear it.