[evita]

I am here after a long time and don't know whether people will remember me or not. However, some of the members of March 2008 might remember me as I delivered a baby girl then and was on this forum day in and day out.

Myself and DH was on the top of the world, but as they say there are pros and cons of everything. Dealing with a 17 month old is not easy and if you plan to work from home, there are thousand interruptions. I have also employed a day maid but that doesn't help much. My daughter is getting spoilt!

I also started working from home as a freelance content writer and the feedback encouraged me to add more quality to my writing.

These days I have been diagnosed with bipolar and on heavy meds thrice a day! Poor me On the top of this all, my father in law expired and my hubby's support system came crashing down. Though I insist but he does not like to share things with me. A couple of days back when my daughter fell down from the cot, all blame was on me. I tried calling my parents and the response I get was marvellous - Dad says take a sleeping pill and mom says go into a different room and sleep...as if everyone has disowned me. I feel very sad and helpless! If I talk to them about separation,they wont listen...

Now my DH wants me to go for ECT/shock treatment, whatever it is, and I am sh*t scared. When I inquired from the hospital, they said that apart from the 14 ECT sessions, I will have to eat all those yucky meds too. This doesn't seem fair to me either financially or coz of the fact how much my body can take it!!! My spouse thinks it would be better for him if I behave normally with him.

Does any one of you have bipolar? Have you gone for ECTs? How did you deal with your depression? Please come up with as many thoughts as possible as it would help me take the right decision.

Thanks.

[annie]

You poor thing. No one deserves to be treated that way. You need to find yourself a support system outside of your family because they obviously don't understand mental illness. Do not let anyone talk you into shock treatment or any other treatment without first consulting with your own doctor & one preferably not related to your family. Sounds like they have a little too much to say about your health & well being. Please seek out the right doctor before making any decisions. I'm sure you are doing the best job you can with your doctor considering the circumstances. I'm glad you have some help during the day at least while your working.

BTW, I was with the Feb. girls & remember you from March due dates. Keep us posted on your progress.

[Kathelen]

Evita- I remember you (I made your sig). I am so sorry to hear all you are dealing with. I know people that are bipolar and it can be a challenge finding the right treatment. All medicines aren't going to work for everyone. Have you tried a different prescription? I agree with Annie, find a doctor you can trust. Are you seeing a psychiatrist now or just an MD? You really need to be seeing someone that specializes in bipolar. There is no reason you have to be living like this- there is help out there. I would be hesitant about ECT without a second (or even third opinion), but I am not a doctor.

Can you spare some time to read over a few links?
Bipolar Disorder Questions - Bipolar Disorder Center - EverydayHealth.com
Bipolar Disorder Treatment: Working With Your Doctor

Please let us know how you are doing. This place obviously can't be your only support system during this tough time, but it can be a part of it.

[evita]

Thanks Annie, at least you replied. I had an apprehension whether anyone would respond as it is a sensitive topic and people don't wish to share. I am also concerned that the moderators might ban me or ask me to go to a relevant forum. But I took the risk as I know many people here and missing them too.

Annie, I have joined psychotherapy sessions apart from my regular meds to keep me grounded. I might also try hypnotherapy but it is ECT I am scared of!

[evita]

Hi Kathelen,

Thanks for the reply and sympathy. I understand. I should not be in this situation and it is affecting my daughter and my earning as a freelance writer too! I have to refuse assignments!

The person I am consulting is a proper psychiatrist and in the hospital he might be prescribing this treatment to others too. But when I read the consequences and side effects of ECT, I become paranoid. My hubby says that if you dont improve in a week's time He will admit me to a hospital I hate being treated like a child.

I will read the links for sure but ladies I need a lot of support this week to be able to gain the confidence and say NO to that ECT thing. I am also saying this because my hubby is allowing me to talk to my parents as of now. His perception is that I get disturbed when I talk to them!

Yesterday, my psychotherapist was telling me that I am too sensitive and take things to heart. Well maybe but I thought that was a generic opinion isn't it.

XOXO

[evita]

Katheleen, plesae share some pics of the twins. I would love to see them. Congrats to both you and Dude.

[Kathelen]

Evita- Have you recently been diagnosed? I ask because I wonder if they can try different meds. Have they considered that?

I'll post a pic of the twins. They are doing well. Growing! Claire is on the left; Brooke is on the right.

[evita]

Aww, they look like little princesses! Thanks for sharing. God bless.

Yeah you are right I was diagnosed some 5-6 years back and remember taking some meds. But after that things returned to normal. It flared up post partum.

But why did you ask me this question? A hunch or what? Please be frank. I can take it.

[annie]

Evita - Stand your ground - please! I would hope that your DH wouldn't admit you to the hospital against your will. This is a sensitive & difficult issue & since I don't have all the facts, I have to be careful about what I write. I'm not sure about all of your symptoms or issues that you are facing on a daily basis so I don't want to assume I have all the answers. Are the meds. your taking now just not working any more or have they never really worked this time?? Have they tried changing them?? Don't give up yet.

[Kathelen]

Evita, I asked because if this is a new thing it may take awhile to find the right meds. If this is a reoccuring condition, then were you on something in the past that helped?