[sarah16]

I find that through my journey with IF so far by biggest problem is judging others. We had a "kids day" at the mall yesterday which was crazy! I was walking down to a store and a mom with her maybe 4yr old son were in front of me. The son dropped his toy and the mom went crazy. She screamed at him BOY! WALK! and grabbed his head and pushed it toward the direction she wanted. I just wonder how God allowed this creature to have a child, when she doesn't even know what a miracle he is. My friend works at the hospital in labor and delivery and she said that sooooo many people come in who don't want a kid, or are too young to have a kid, or have a boyfriend who is married to someone else. That makes me so sad.


OK so yes I am judging, but can't I get a break too. If people get pregnant "on accident" all the time, then how come it's so hard for us?

Thanks for listening!

[gingerj]

That is so true. I find myself doing the same thing @ times. I wonder how some people have kids and don't even know what a blessing they are. And then there are those of us who want a child so bad and have so much love to give and here we are, frustrated and facing IF issues! It just doesn't make sense sometimes.

[nedege24]

I too wonder but decided that i am not God so i will never understand

[94VALENTINEWANTSBLNG]

I totally agree, sometimes I don't even want to leave my house just for that reason. Seeing so many children with parents who seem to just take it for granted. This includes family members especially. My sister is a prime example. She has had 2 children, my neice is 14 and my nephew is 8. She doesn't have custody of either. She used to beat my neice, and she DEA busted in her and her boyfriends door so my nephews father took him away from her. But she doesn't care, she has had 5 abortions and 3 miscarriages one m/c last July and the 3rd this past January. I could slap her for even getting pregnant with the way she does the children she already has. She didn't even show up at either of there b-day parties this year!!! And she curses them ALL the time!!! I know we are not supposed to question God, but sometimes it's hard not to wonder.

[Poppycorn95]

Ok. So by looking at my siggy line you'll see that I'm on both sides of this issue. I know the desire to have a child, and I know the reality of raising them.

I have to tell you I have been that "bad" mother you saw. That child could have been a holy terror in the previous store. He could have been running around, hiding in the clothes racks, dropping his toy on purpose because he was tired of walking. She could be worried about him getting left behind in the crowded mall. She could have seen someone who was a danger to them that she was trying to avoid. She could have needed to pick up her older child from an activity and needed to hurry. Does that mean she loves him less? No. She is very frustrated with him and his behavior. And the added crowd probably stressed her out even more. (It would me)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you do have a child, and you live with that child 24/7 and raise that child to the best of your ability... You aren't always going to be the loving mother you prayed you would be. You will have moments of breaking down and crying, and yelling, and feeling guilty. It's part of motherhood. Unfortunately our worst moments are usually the ones caught in public! *lol*

One day soon We will ALL experience what it is like to really raise a child. Until then, I will be praying that your dreams are fulfilled and that God blesses you with a child soon.

*edited to add... What I described above was a situation from the MALL...not from actual physical abuse. I don't tolerate nor do I believe any parent should hurt their child.

[jenedens6102]

I too can see both sides of the fence. While I view every child as the blessing they are from God, it doesn't mean that from time to time you won't get frustrated. It's part of human nature. We may not like ourselves for it and we may try our very best to remain calm and loving in all situations but unfortunately the reality is we aren't perfect 100% of the time. I wasn't there so I didn't see what you saw but if she just turned his head in the direction he should be walking versus picking him up, spanking him and throwing his head in the direction to walk in there is a difference. I have on occasion had to grab a child's face to have them look at me to understand what I'm trying to tell them. It isn't anything forceful but a gentle guide to locking eyes so that they may see you and hear you without distraction sometimes. I've done this to many of the beautiful children in my life and I've done it in front of their parents. Would you know that in those instances the parents started doing the same thing when they realized the good it did in helping the child to concentrate on the urgency of the matter. I'm not condoning the mother's behavior but we can't judge her for it either. We all have days in our lives when we can come unglued and it may be over the smallest thing in the world. It doesn't mean we don't feel bad for it later and make our apologies. Anyone here yell at their spouse in public? It happens. I'm sure that mother loves her child with all she has but it was an unfortunate situation and time. I hope this doesn't upset or offend anyone but we should all know by now that you can't judge a person from the outside - we have no idea what they've been through.

[sarah16]

I'm not offended at all, I was just saying that this is my biggest problem that I need to work on. Judging others.