[nursegirl0506]

Woohoo.. I get to start the Clomid tomorrow. I know my ticker is messed up . I am not any days post ovulation...yet..hopefully it will happen this month! First day on the job was okay. Just mainly a bunch of paperwork and lots of reading on policies, and procedures. Lots more information to know then when I was working hospice! Hope everyone is having a great start to their week!

[styltryn]

Teri, I am so sorry to read your post... I can only imagine how hard the day must have been for you. So sad. You're young though and I've heard a person is more fertile after a loss for awhile... a dear friend lost a natural pg and three months later was pg again and went to full term. She hadn't even known she was pg the first time until bleeding began. Be good to yourself! Our thoughts and are with you!

[styltryn]

Thanks Kathryn - I think I will go with DS in August. Btw, BF did do his bloodwork, but the doc laid on some heavy stuff about responsibility of co-parenting and it spooked him so then he didn't sign the consents... my RE said IVF wouldn't result in implantation any better and would just cost more... but I'd read chances are quite a bit better with IVF... the BF had lousy sperm so it would have needed to be IVF with ICSI... your success with donor embryos makes me think that may be the best option of all if I don't get a BFP one of these months!

Deej, I wouldn't be able to wait to poas... I think it's fairly accurate by 12dpo if it's one of the early hpt's... guess that's tomorrow for u? to you for success!

whoa - this foster care dog has the worst gas bc his food has been changed up a few times apparently... yikes! Off to light candles now!!! LOL!

[Deej]

Originally Posted by styltryn

whoa - this foster care dog has the worst gas bc his food has been changed up a few times apparently... yikes! Off to light candles now!!! LOL!

I needed a laugh this morning! Thank You!

[silverbrumby]

Hello Lasses,

Styltryn, thanks for the giggle. My pup has been gas free thank goodness! He's still very tiny so it's like having a baby cuz he's in his little playpen and every so often I have to change his weewee pad. Today I took him out with my dog for her morning potty session and he actually POOPED! I was so proud. The sign of true cluckiness I suppose is when you talk about poop with enthusiasm.

I had my ultrasound this morning with my radiologist. I've been seeing him for 8 years for cancer followups so he knows me but hadn't seen him for a while because I was overseas. He was actually a bit cross with the old RE because his medical records make NO mention of the cyst size or morphology. From what he said though, it sounds like the cyst is bigger. It's now 4cms and has a "septal division" meaning it is either one cyst with a septum or two cysts smooshed together. It's fluid filled, so that is good. But the size is a bit of a worry. Now I have to wait for the report to go to my doctor and for her to call me. I've been trying to schedule the therapy consult for DS but have only been able to get voicemail. Likewise, trying to get anything from my gyn/oncologist has been a major PITA.

On another note, I had a truly bizarro dream last night. I went to the doctor's office to get sprogged up and my brothers came with me and she told me I had to go across the street to get the proceedure done... I went over there and it was a huge clinic and I was taken to this giant fish tank with little numbers swimming around in it and told to point out my ds. Then they took me into a room and did the IUI and afterwards they said "ok, the embryo is implanted"... and I'm like "EMBRYO?" and they're like "yeah, standard procedure for someone your age is to create an embryo using the DS you picked and implant it"....and I'm like "but I didn't give any eggs"...and they were all "oh, those are from donors"... so I asked why I couldn't use my own and they said that if you are over 40 you're not allowed... and I was like "but I am 37" and then the doc goes "oops, your chart says you are 41"... then they gave me a morning after pill and told me I could stop the pregnancy if I wanted, meanwhile my brothers are looking at me totally confused...and then I woke up.

Anyway, guess it's the stress talking. Cross your fingers ladies that I don't have to have surgery.

[lilac]

Ona, for you!

It is a holiday here today (Canada Day) however my brother and I will be missing the obligatory family barbecue and festivities as the rest of the family lives 2 hours away and we don't want to be driving back late tonight in order to go to work tomorrow. And honestly, I don't really want to be driving anywhere anyway, so I am quite happy about that. The most energetic thing I did yesterday was amble about the gardens of the complex (I found rosebushes) and I think another day like that is what I need today. You know, reading my book on the deck, lying on the couch, etc.

[Deej]

Originally Posted by lilac

It is a holiday here today (Canada Day)

Happy Canada Day! I am glad that you are taking it easy and relaxing... enjoy the book and couch.
Ona - i too have had weird dreams. i think that we read/hear/speak so much about ttc that all of it gets mumbled up in our dreams!
Kathryn - when i read styltryns post about you using donor embryos, it made me feel grateful to even know that is an option. i do not know what path will lead to me becoming a mother, and if bio child is not an option, i love the idea of getting to experience pregnancy! one day i may be asking you more about donor embryo.
HAPPY TUESDAY LADIES!!

[Mindi_IUI]

Hi Ladies!

I'm back from my vacation and boy am I exhausted. Oregon was sunny and beautiful. We even had extreme weather. On Saturday it was about 95 and then on Sunday there was a thunder storm like I've never heard before. It even put the power out for about a mintue while we were eating dinner at PF Changs. That's Oregon for you. If you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes and it will change.

My nephew's Bar Mitzvah was wonderful. He did an amazing job. I was so proud of him. The party was a blast. I ate and danced away the BFN blues. On Thursday night we went to Chevy's for dinner and I drank two yummy margaritas as you all suggested I do. I think I am done drinking alcohol for now. I don't need the extra calories. We ate and ate and ate and I got not one night of good sleep. So, needless to say I am fat and extremely tired. I can't wait until the 3 day weekend begins. I am going to sleep and relax by the pool.

I am happy to say that the meds didn't create any cysts this month. So, I should be ok to go another round this cycle. However, since I was out of town on cd3 I wasn't able to take another FSH test that my RE wanted me to take (I haven't had it tested since February) This also means that I couldn't start clomid either. I am kind of torn on what to do next. I am a bit strapped financially and am not going to do injectibles. I can only afford one vial of DS at this time. So, I don't know whether or not I should do an at home insemination, or if I should wait until August and do an IUI. Any thoughts? I hate the thought of missing a cycle and wasting some good eggs.

Anywho......
Teri, You already know how sad I am for you. I promise to keep you smiling when you come for visit.
Jen, I am so glad to know that you are feeling well post op and that you are taking some time to relax and heal. Happy Canada Day!
Ona, You got a new puppy?? I agree, you are nuts wanting to add to your brood of animals, but you are nutty in a loving way. Hey, what's one more mouth to feed at this point? lol Post some photos on the yahoo group so I can see the new cutie.
DeeDee, Wow, I see you are approaching HPT time. I sure hope that au natural worked. I wish I had an opportunity to go that route.

I am happy to see that everyone else is doing well

[silverbrumby]

Yay Mindi! I'm glad you had a good vacation. I'm looking forward to the three day vacation myself!! Not only will I get a chance to relax, but it means that my co-worker will be back from his vacation and I won't be doing the work of two people anymore!

Deej, sorry I didn't answer your HPT question... I think most tests work within 2 days before your AF day, but if you don't have regular cycles then it's a bit wonky getting the timing right. I'd say wait til after AF was due. Since it was a late attempt this month and it sounds like you haven't really had much TWW anxiety, then why waste the money? I get the POAS addiction but I say resist the urge and just wait it out...that way, if it is a BFP it'll be like a super huge surprise and if it isn't, it'll be no big deal.

Ok, I am going to vent now because I am so mad I could chew bricks. My RE is awesome and very thorough and as I said before, she wants three things before we have our consult to go over the IUI approach: 1. an u/s from my radiologist, 2. me to go to a consult session about using DS, and 3. a letter from my gyn/oncologist.

I was able to see the radiologist almost immediately but the other two are proving a major challenge. The darned therapist just needs to actually call me back and I hate waiting, but gyn/oncologist is especially frustrating...

I called her office right away when I found out I needed a letter. They said they'd ask her and get back to me, but never did. I called again yesterday asking to schedule an appointment because I was pretty sure my doc would want one before she wrote the letter and I got all sorts of flack and they said they'd call me back that afternoon but never did. So this morning I called and went through the whole drama again and they said they'd call me in the afternoon...here it is afternoon and no phone call, so I called them. Well I finally spoke to the lady I originally talked to who never called me back and as predicted, my doctor wants to see me before she'll write the letter. Well, they said they'd have to get my records out of storage because I hadn't seen her in a few years, and then they said they wouldn't be able to see me for TWO MONTHS because "pursuing pregnancy isn't an emergency". I was SO mad... this is why I haven't seen her in so long... they schedule their appointments like 3 months out and expect you to be able to keep the appointment. I don't know what I am doing one week from now let alone in 3 months! So I was kinda upset.

Anyway, I'm just stressing now because of this stupid cyst being bigger and more complex than what the stupid old RE said. I even did some reading and a septated cyst can't be aspirated (or "sucked out") as he had suggested so now I am steaming wondering what the he** he was thinking, especially given my medical history! At 4cm large it's right at the point where they usually want to remove it, especially since it is considered to be "persistent" since it's been there since at least April. So I am now walking a fine line between the docs saying watch and wait and wanting to do surgery.

URGH! I am still steaming over what the stupid office person said... not having a very positive day over here.

[Deej]

Mindi: so glad you had a superb time! even though the bfn was not wanted, how nice to have a special family event to take your mind off of it, and to be able to really let loose and have some fun! thats great it worked out that way. good news about no cysts also! i am sure there is a reason you cannot do clomid or whatever since you did not have day 3 bloodwork... now, this is only my opinion, and whatever decision you make is going to be the right one anyhow BUT if it were me, i would wait until August and do the IUI w/ clomid. i did an ICI (at home insem) and although the experience was nice, it was not worth the $500. would you be able to do the full deal in august, iui/clomid? or would it be just IUI?? i know what you mean about wasting good eggs.
Regarding the au naturale route, I am already planning on using DS and clomid and IUI next cycle (if no bfp) I keep having visions (yes ona, similar to your dreams!!) about my donor's baby pic, and for now, that is where i am leaning...
*** ona i think we posted at same time...
yes i would be upset about the gyno taking 2 months for an appt! can you speak w/ the office manager and explain to her that you need a letter/ appt before 2 months? how dare they say what constitutes an emergency! try calling each am and pm asking if there have been any cancellations. they will get the hint as to how serious you are about getting in sooner! i do hope that the cyst is not 'bad'... and why does new RE need ltr from OLD gyno? i can understand wanting med records, but to want a letter? i too was requested to see a therapist who specialized in "third party conceptions" i wanted to laugh! it was me and the donor sperm, no third party. i went ahead and did it, although it was not required. but give me a break, nobody asks crack heads to get advised before becoming pregnant! i understand the theory behind it but PLEASE! obviously we have put thought into this; we could all just as easily meet a stranger at a bar and ___! ok i am done ranting. keep us posted on the cyst, gyno, and therapist!

[lilac]

Mindi, I'm glad you had a good vacation! That's what I need. As to your next attempt, while I see the appeal of ici at home (and I was seriously tempted to give it a try myself!), I think I would wait till August and do an iui. If cost wasn't so much of a thing, I'd go for the home insem on the off chance it might work, but given that cost is an issue for you right now, I'd go for the iui, which has a greater chance of success. And it's only one more month. Just my 2 cents.

Deej, I am hoping you get your bfp soon and won't need the ds, but good for you for going ahead if this time hasn't worked.

Ona, I totally understand your frustration. As someone who has ended up waiting months several times (I waited 4 months for the first appt with my RE, another 3 months for my first iui, and I won't even go into the surgery wait!) I know exactly how maddening it can be. Can you see another gyn oncologist? If not, step up your attempts to get in. They may fit you in just to shut you up! I hope the therapist calls you back soon. I had to do that too (it's a requirement here) but I didn't find it very useful (and anyone who has thought about this as much as we have...) - I just viewed it as another 'fee' on the road to pregnancy. Dead easy (well as long as they call you back, anyway).

[silverbrumby]

Thanks Deej, I have tried the calling for cancellations thing before and the people who work in the office are a bunch of %^#$@!. They don't let you drop in on cancellations because that office is notorious for lagging behind and being overbooked. I understand that my doc is "one of the best"...she was even on tv... but they are totally disorganized and rude. They go through office managers like water because the place is such a mess and people just leave. This is my curse...if the doctor is good the admin staff are a bunch of wankers. If the admin staff are nice, the doc is wanktastique.

Mindi, I agree with Deej. You should wait til August. Chances of success with ICI are only slightly less than IUI but without the meds, the odds go down a lot more. I'd say it's better to waste an egg than to waste 20million sperm, especially since you have to pay for the sperm. And trust me, I hate waiting so I can totally understand wanting to just go for it. In fact, I've been contemplating doing that very thing...but the reality is that just doing at home insemination carries a lower chance of success.

Deej, I think it's cool that you are using your last DS vial. If this guy is a keeper he won't mind and this way you don't have to bench because of logistics and you don't waste an already bought vial. But here's hoping you already are PG and don't have to worry about DS vial for that reason. hehe.

Ok, I am off to spoil myself after such a crummy day. I got FRESH from the cow milk at the farmer's market Sunday and I am making a couple of choco chip cookies and watching a movie.

Cheers,

Ona

[silverbrumby]

Oops Jen, we crossed posts. I can't see another gyn/onc because the only reason I am seeing her is because I need that dumb letter and only she (who has been my doc for years) would be able to write it. I am just going to talk to the RE and tell her what a nightmare it is trying to get it and maybe she'll let it slide.

Still no call from the therapist. I agree it is silly...and at $300 not cheap... plus I totally understand the usefulness of therapists and that some folks really do need them but I don't want a mental health visit on my medical record because it's just one more thing I'll end up having to explain at some point later down the road. Thankfully, my insurance should cover it, or at least cover SOME of it.

Cheers,

Ona

[Deej]

Originally Posted by silverbrumby

$300 not cheap... plus I totally understand the usefulness of therapists and that some folks really do need them but I don't want a mental health visit on my medical record because it's just one more thing I'll end up having to explain at some point later down the road.

mine was half that price! i too agree there is a need for consultations, etc... but like Jen said, it is another fee we have to pay!

[lilac]

$300, ouch, mine was only $150! I actually felt this tremendous sense of exhilaration after - it was the first hoop I had to jump through. My RE wouldn't proceed to any testing until I had it done. It was cheap (in the grand scheme of things) and easy and quick!