[MissV]

Thanks for all your warm welcomes. I'll answer a few questions and pose a few of my own.

Don't know if I would consider IUI or IVF. All I can say is I think that's a little ways off and I don't feel I'm ready to give it too much thought. One thing at a time. (Remember this is only my second try.) But I do know that if I wanted to I doubt it would be an option. I do not have a big savings or a high-paying job and although I have good insurance I seriously doubt it would cover that, especially for a single person. But like I said, I don't want to get into a big discussion about this yet. I'm still assuming I'll get pregnant the regular way. In the meantime reading about others' experiences with IUI & IVF is very informative.

Hobbies/interests: My passion is improv comedy and I perform regularly at a theatre. I love it and I'm pretty good. This has lead me to writing comedy and producing projects and I am now trying to sell them. (If I sell one maybe my $$ sitch for other baby options will be different.) I used to travel a lot and have lived in several countries but in the past few years I settled down in LA to focus on career and, well, settling down! :-) I also love to read, collage, knit, camp, hike, do yoga, and I have just started meditating - I recommend it for dealing with the baby-patience issues!

Okay, my questions:
I just got the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" and look forward to learning a lot from it. I'm going to start taking my basal temp. and checking my CM. Up to now I've only been using an ovulation predictor kit (OPK, right?). I seem to be very regular (started following my cycle when "friend" and I were in discussion/negotiation) - 29-day cycle and ovulating (or is it "surge" of some hormone?) on exactly 15th day for the past 4 months. So: Does taking temp and checking CM in addition to OPK help? Or is it just more info? Also, I know you take basal temp when you wake up, but I haven't seen this question addressed - what constitutes "waking up"? LOL. Does it count when I wake up to pee 2 hours before I have to get up and then go back to bed? What about the fact that my waking up time can be vary by several hours day to day because of my wacky schedule?

And thanks for warning me that preg symptoms can be just like PMS symptoms. I knew when I wrote that someone would say, oh you never know for me it felt just like that when I was pregnant! LOL! Boy you sure can drive yourself crazy w/this stuff. I've never paid attention to all these little symptoms so now I feel like I'm having the most severe PMS ever that is starting the earliest ever. But maybe not - maybe it's just because I never paid attention before! Urg! I can't imagine what it must be like for you ladies who have been at this for a year or more. Like I said above, I've just started meditating and I think it's a good time to incorporate that into my life.

Oh - what does "RE" mean? Some kind of doctor I'm guessing.

Sorry this post is so long and thanks for any and all feedback. Oh - and I realized after I posted my first post that I was looking at the first page of this thread and didn't see the little page numbers at the bottom. That's why I thought I might be too late to join the discussion. Duh! (Just so excited to find what I was looking for I guess.) So I'm sort of caught up now.

Have a talking appointment w/gyn tomorrow. I'm bringing a list of questions. I fully expect her to tell me to just keep trying and not much else. "Friend" gets sperm checked this month too.

-MissV-

[kblythe]

Hey MissV,

When taking your basal body temp, they recommend that you do it at the same time every day after at least 4 hours of sleep. Back when I was charting, I set my alarm for early and kept the thermometer right next to the bed. I would take my temp and fall right back asleep!

An RE is a reproductive endocrinologist.

Oh, and I forgot to mention my last big vacation. I've been taking one big one a year, but that will almost certainly be coming to and end! Last February, I went on the fully-funded family fun-fest. We took a cruise on a very fancy cruise line from Lima Peru, through the Panama Canal, up to Ft. Lauderdale. Saw lots of eco-tourism along the way.

Kathryn.

[lilac]

MissV, I temp and look at CM in addition to opks. It doesn't 'help' per se, except it gives me a better idea of when I'm ovulating, and in the case of the temps, that I have actually ovulated. It also makes me feel like I'm doing something every day towards ttc. It's also given me a better idea of what my cycles are like. You should try to take your temp at the same time each day (I keep my thermometer beside my bed so I can take it and then go back to sleep) if you can and after several hours of sleeping. That being said, however, my waking time has sometimes varied a lot and I've still found my temps useful.

Good luck with your Gyn appt!

[Deej]

Miss V: Great questions, and you sound like a great lady! We can use humor on these posts as well! I can only imagine the jokes that can be made regarding singles ladies trying to get pregnant! Just yesterday I had to ask my CPA if sperm qualifies as a medical expense.
I agree, do not worry about the next step (iui/ivf) until you know if the first step will work. I like having a plan, knowing what options are available is a plan.
I too meditate, but do not do yoga! I have heard it is great for pregnancy and ALMOST ordered a book (by a yoga guru in LA) for yoga during pregnancy. When I get pregnant, I am ordering the book. This weekend I will attend a workshop focusing on manifestating your intentions for new year. We shall see...
Trying to conceive is not for the weak. It is an emotional roller coaster, and each cycle I get a little better at handling the ride!
Good luck at the doc appointment. I do not recall if you have already had blood work done, but most ladies will have some tests depending on their age, etc...

[lilac]

Originally Posted by Deej

Trying to conceive is not for the weak. It is an emotional roller coaster, and each cycle I get a little better at handling the ride!

Oh, yes, isn't that the truth!

I too have heard yoga is good during pregnancy... I have actually looked up some classes for when I am pregnant (I WILL be pregnant), but I was thinking of maybe taking a class now, too.

Deej, who is the guru?

[Deej]

Originally Posted by lilac

Deej, who is the guru?

GURMUKH : Golden Bridge Yoga, A Spiritual Village
Here is a link to the first thing I found online about her. She is probably not very traditional... but I liked what I read on another website...
Let me know what you think, and if you are going to buy a book!

[Squeezan]

MissV, this is a great thread to join. I feel a bit late in welcoming you - so much has gone on whilst I've been at work (I'm the only member on here that's in the uk so I never seem to be around at the same time as the rest of you).
I've never tried checking my temps as I discovered quite early on in treatment that I don't ovulate regularly (not at all some months) and so I started medication an then had trigger shots to cause ovulation. I did use opk's but only once got a natural surge.
Like the others said, try not to read anything into symptoms that you may or may not feel. I had 6 cycles of iui and each 2ww was different, I certainly didn't know the last one was a success until I did the test. I think we just get so tuned in to our bodies that we notice things we never would have before.

Kathryn - well done on the ticker. Its good to be able to follow your progress, I love looking at mine when I log on.
Do you really need to sort out childcare so soon there? Wow, I've been thinking about it and read the reports on local places but haven't done anything concrete yet. I work in a hospital and they have a nursery within the grounds which has fantastic reports so I'm hoping to use that. Maybe I should get my butt into gear andgo look at it!

Erica - good luck with the rest of your 2ww. I'm thinking of you. I never got sore bbs with pms or with bfp (until after test day)

Hi to everyone else
My hobbies/interests - I enjoy reading (currently reading a Jody Picoult), cooking, swimming and spending time with my niece and nephew. They were a great distraction whilst ttc but my sister did annoy me sometimes by saying 'are you sure you want one?' when they were playing up. I swear I'll never say that to anyone!
I'm not really big on holidays and haven't travelled very much at all. I guess I like my home comforts too much so prefer to just go out for days or short breaks in the uk.

I've got my first appointment with my gp (doctor, not grandparents ) tomorrow. Not sure what it involves really but I guess I'll get referred to my midwife and should get booked in for the dating scan and blood tests. Will let you know.
I've had to give up on wearing my jeans, they're getting so tight already. You can't see a bump yet but I feel bigger and my stomach is so hard now instead of squishy

[kblythe]

Hey Su!

I guess it must be around 9:00 p.m. in the UK, so time for you to check in! It's great that daycare isn't as competitive there. But if there is one you really like ... the one at work for example ... I'd head over there, if I were you! Ideally, I will get into the daycare across the street from work. Assuming that I'm able to breastfeed, I would be able to walk over there a couple of times a day for feedings rather than trying to pump at work.

Glad you like the ticker!

Kathryn.

[Teri01042008]

miss v everyone here is awesome!!

deej, does pcos qualify for tax deductions ???

[silverbrumby]

Hi ladies,

I was so excited to find this forum as it looks like I am not as alone as I thought I was.

My story is similar to others on here...

I find myself almost 37 and single. Things just haven't come together for me meeting the right guy. I have been engaged twice but never married. My life was turned on its head when I was diagnosed with cancer at 25. My fiance at the time was supportive and helped take care of me but the relationship ended shortly after my last chemo treatment. I've been cancer free for 12 years now, and unfortunately, during most of that time, relationship free too. I'm still hoping that my soulmate is out there somewhere but when I got cancer my biggest fear was losing the ability to have children so I know that having kids now is way more important than meeting Prince Charming...

I have always wanted a family and felt that looking for a donor was the best option. I didn't want my desire for children to cloud my judgement in a relationship or make me rush into anything. Besides, I figure MY Mr Right would be someone that would be accepting of the fact that I was a single mom, so I decided to stop delaying and go for it.

I placed several ads in several forums and after a long search fraught with frustration and some rather creepy men, I recently found a lovely gay man who just might be more excited about the prospect of being a known donor than I was about being a single mother. We met and hit it off instantly. There are just some people in this world who are meant to be your friend and he is one of them for me. We are working on contracts and legal stuff then will start TTC next month.

I do not have any children (at least not any non-furry ones) and I am really nervous, excited, giddy...

I'd love to be able to chat with you gals as I proceed down this road and it would be great to talk to other lasses out there who are bravely taking on the role of a single mum.

Cheers!

Ona

[lilac]

Ona! We're glad to have you! Good luck for next month and keep us posted! It's great to hear from others proceeding to single mumhood in a different way than I am!

Su, good luck at your appointment tomorrow! I must say, I am loving the updates from you and Kathryn... it's great to know what the rest of us have in store for us!

Ladies, I am having the weirdest cycle... I've had EWCM for 3 days now, and I got a positive on my opk today. It's only day 8! Not that this will matter too much as I'm sitting this cycle out, but it is so odd!

[ELOVE]

Ona!!! Yep, you've come to the right place. How absolutely exciting you posted in a forum and found your donor. I would have never thought of that. Congratulations on beating cancer!! I'm sure God has something special in store for you!! Please keep us posted on how you're progression on your journey to mumhood.

MissV--How intriguing you are a performance artist. I agree with Deej you could probably get a lot of material from this site. One of things that helped me with all this two letter biz is the acronyms link at the top. But then I still have a hard time like gp is general practitioner and not grandparents. I agree try natural first and hopefully you won't need to move on. On a side note though, I stayed away from IUI for a long time because I didn't think I could afford it, but the price (minus insurance covered office visits, u/s, and meds) isn't as expensive as I thought it would be. We're here for you every step of the way.

Kathryn--Way to go on the ticker! I love it.

Su--Hope your doctor's visit goes well tomorrow. They make such cute & sexy maternity jeans these days you'll probably rock the heck out of them!!

Lilac--I have no idea what ewcm on cd8 means. I wonder if it's early because AF was late. Question. I was reading one of you posts where you said you only used opks to time your ovulation. Do you think having your doc prescribe an HCG or Ovidrel injection will time your ovulation a little better? Everything I've read says IUIs should be done either side of six hours and with the triggers you'd get the IUI closer to the zone. Just a question though...

DeeDee--I just sent you a pm about the pic you emailed me. I'm just now checking my email. Please let me know if you got it, cause I really have an opinion about it.

It's interesting to see everyone is reading something. The last book I read all the way through was DaVinci Code, and I got Angels and Demons on cd but have yet to finish it. This is one of my New Year's resolutions...to read more. I actually probably watch too much television. I was really into the reality shows in the fall, now I'm obsessed with courtTV (now truTV) watching all the forensic files, and crime investigations... I don't know why I find those shows fascinating.

My last vacation was a cruise from Jacksonville, Florida to the Bahamas. I'm scheduled for Hawaii in July and hoped that I'd be 10 weeks pregnant and couldn't go in July. But now I'm thinking I will still look good with a big belly in a bikini, so I'm going anyway .

Today I'm celebrating something DeeDee sent me and if she allows me to, I'll share it with the forum tomorrow.

Good night ladies!!

[slccress]

Wow! Ladies, I was one of the original 5 pm'ers. But I was on vacation without internet. When I returned we got hit with a huge snow storm - so not net here either. Anyway, I am back online and back to school (teacher). Here's my story for those that don't know.
My name is Stacee, I am almost 33(March) and live in Nevada. There has never been any doubt in my mind that I would be a mom. I lost my mom to ovarian cancer 10 1/2 years ago. SO when I got a slightly abnormal pap in May of 2006, I freaked! I did cryosurgery and am good now, but that set me on the road. I quit smoking 2 months after my first normal pap. And started seriously thinking about ttc on my own.
I went off the bcp in Jan 06. A very good friend offered to be my donor and I did my first IUI in July. By September we found out that I was not ovulating. It is my opinion that it was because of the bcp. They say no, but... Started clomid, still no luck. Did the HSG in Nov, no luck. Decided to take Dec off due to my vacation. Ready to try for Jan but my donor just called - he and his girlfriend are preggo. They were NOT trying. We are getting together on Friday to decide if we are going to continue and if so, we may wait another month. That way the kids would be spread out.
Crazy, huh? I am sooooo glad that I have you ladies. I have 1 very very close friend who I share everything with. But here - its different. Thanks for that!
Congrats to the ladies with the BFP. And rats to the ladies like me with the BFN. Next time! Next time! That is my mantra lately.

[silverbrumby]

Hi again,

Nice to meet everyone! I don't have much to share yet since I haven't really started the adventure of TTC.

My donor and I are meeting for lunch on Thursday to look over the donor contract. Should be fun.

Weird thing is it feels like we have been friends forever and I have to keep reminding myself he is still pretty much a stranger. I'd almost say if he wasn't gay he'd be my ideal sorta guy...but alas... isn't that how it works when you hit the mid30s...the goodies are either married or GAY!

I've told most of my friends about my plans and have gotten overwhelmingly positive responses. One friend said "it's about $#@! time!".

I am a bit euphoric...like that feeling you get when you're finally getting on the plane for a vacation you've planned for years.

Despite the cancer experience, I think my fertility is fine. I went into perimenopause for about 2 years because of all the nasty chemo and surgeries but then my cycle slowly came back to normal. Nowadays its so predictable you could time an egg by it...haha....pun intended.

I've got my OPKs, thermometer, and calendar at the ready just to make sure I time things right when we do start. Since I am on day 4 of my cycle now I am using this cycle as a baseline for my future attempts.

I'm not in a HUGE rush because I actually don't want to get a BFP my first try. I start a new job this month so I am hoping it will take at least 4-5 tries because otherwise I won't have been at the job long enough to get maternity leave.

On the negative side of the coin, I am a bit stressed about how I am going to manage being a single mum. I've got loads of emotional support and an endless stream of willing and free babysitters, but it's the day to day stuff that I sit and ponder for days on end... like, I really want my baby to be diaper free (infant potty training rocks!) but that requires that all care providers are on the same page....these silly planning thoughts that go through my head nonstop and I don't even have a BFP yet.

Anyway, where does everyone live and what do you lot do for a living? How do you all plan to balance career and time with the child?

I live in Virginia and I am a flight medic.

Cheers!

SB

[Deej]

WOW! Lots of posts! Lots to respond to! to silverbrumby! Welcome to the forum! I am so glad you found us! We are from all types of backgrounds and at different stages of ttc, and using different methods.. some using donor sperm, some using known donor sperm, some using donor egg, some iui some ivf... Some of us are already pregnant some MAY be pregnant but do not know yet (erica!!!) some are hoping to soon be pregnant!
You will bring so much to our little group, and will not ever feel alone again! Since this thread started I have felt more peace, being able to have other single mums by choice to talk to is awesome! You wrote that you do not have anything to offer because you are just getting started, but that is so untrue! Your journey is something we can all learn from. I had just recently heard about finding a known donor, as I discussed it via email w/ a lady from an SMC board... We will have to talk more about this later... Your wording about your desire to have a child clouding your judgement with dating was SO RIGHT ON. Better worded than I could have said.
Congratulations on beating cancer. You can do anything after that! I can only imagine how strong that made you, and that you will carry that into being a single mom! Like Erica said, God has a plan for you.
Elove: i did not get a pm... will check again later. did you send me something email or on the forum? how are you feeling? the second week can be a real b---h can't it?? i hope i sent you the right pic, now i am worried.... i sent one of blast from the past?
Su and Kathryn: the talk about day care makes it so REAL. i love it, and hope you both know you are paving the way for us. That is what I am celebrating today!
Lilac: i would guess that the ewcm and positive opk are a result from the meds, your cycle is off. after my second iui, when i had to sit out a month, af did not come until day 36, so who knows when big "o" was during that cycle. after you and i get our laps done, we are going for it! 2008 - procreate!
slccres: so glad you are back! i was hoping you would return. you are one of the first 5! keep us posted on the donor situation
teri: all your medical out of pocket counts as medical expenses, i believe it has to total 7.5% of your income. the sperm is the only thing i believe is not covered. if i get any other info, i will let you all know.
ladies using known donors: i may be pm'ing you about the arrangement you have. for now, i do not want to competely shut out the idea of a known donor!
thanks Kathryn for saying something about tax deductions! what i save is what i will use towards my lap surgery.. regarding that, the doc fees are 1800 for the lap and 1300 for the hysteroscopy. i would be responsible for 40% + the 1000K deductible... when i feel like figuring it out, i will. but for now, i am on break!
There is so much more I could respond to but most importantly want to say WELCOME to the new ladies, and welcome back, slccress, We have missed you!
Su: good luck at the doctor, please share with us about the midwife. is that a choice or does it come w/ canadian healthcare? i cannot wait to hear!